CMV: It's ridiculous for women to think dating a men with a high body count is the same as dating a women with a high body count, and making fun of men who care.

Mrs_Drgree · 2022-10-29T13:19:26+00:00

Removed for OP abandonment

ChadChasingB · 2022-10-29T11:31:45+00:00

Your argument makes it worse for women that care about sexual history. A man with a high n count has made effort to have causal sex that they claim ruins women, dumpster dived, or paid for it. Men saying, "No, it's different.", is not going to change our minds either. I can't respect, want, or be with a man like that.

TermAggravating8043 · 2022-10-29T12:01:00+00:00

If a man has a high count it’s likely he’s slept around and will continue to sleep around even in a relationship. Why on earth would I want someone like that? I want t someone stable, reliable and committed to me alone.

I don’t want to be anywhere near a guy that’s continually trying to stick his dick in whatever available hole he can find. Manwhores... ewwww

HazyMemory7 · 2022-10-29T11:05:18+00:00

[permanently deleted]

januaryphilosopher · 2022-10-29T11:11:56+00:00

So, even if we grant you that it's easy, why would that make it any worse? I fail to see why an undesirable trait would be any less undesirable just because someone tried really hard to do it. If anything, that makes it worse.

WilliamWyattD · 2022-10-29T11:50:30+00:00

It is ridiculous and delusional for anyone to think there is not SOME instinct-based asymmetry between male and female promiscuity. Or that there would be no good reasons for this difference. However, I don't think the OP's explanation really covers why there is this asymmetry.

That being said, it is far from clear that the difference is massive. I think promiscuity is probably bad for both genders, just worse for women. But each gender should still try to properly channel and constrain their sexuality.

On the other hand, if you think promiscuity for men is OK, then that should probably mean it is for women too, they just need to be somewhat more careful and measured in it.

But I never found arguments saying it is great for men and bad for women to be coherent.

Bubbly_Taro · 2022-10-29T11:15:07+00:00

The issue is the same.

He is a manwhore and has a promiscuous past. What is to say that he won't sleep around again?

The fact that he is above average does not change that.

GhostofCamus · 2022-10-29T11:43:32+00:00

If a high body count just means a woman wants/enjoys sex, why would that be a negative? I can see your point if her libido plummets as soon as she meets you, and you should totally walk away from that situation. Excluding that circumstance though, it seems like a win to me. Unless I'm missing something.

pro-frog · 2022-10-29T11:41:49+00:00

It might not be exactly the same, but I still find it a little ridiculous to care that much in many cases.

IMO the most egregious are when a dude is in a happy, healthy, long-term relationship, and finds out that his girlfriend had a lot of sex when she was younger. It wasn't something she hid, but it's something he's only finding out now, a few months in. And he absolutely tanks this perfectly fine relationship because he can't handle the idea that he's not giving her the best orgasms of her life or whatever. If learning about the promiscuous past puts preexisting problems (like a limited desire for sex on her end, or reasonable suspicions of cheating) into a new context, that's different. But every now and then you hear about a dude whose damaging ideas about women who have a lot of sex cause him to lose what he describes as a great relationship. That's completely ridiculous to me.

I also think avoiding all women who've had a lot of sex because they're statistically more likely to cheat is a little silly. Especially when they think a woman absolutely must be a virgin to be a worthy partner. "More likely" does not mean "guaranteed," and there are other traits you can look for. Number of sexual partners is one piece of a complete whole to consider. You have to put her behavior in context.

I think it's absolutely fair if someone who's had a lot of casual sex just clearly has values about sex that don't jive with your own, but you're a total hypocrite if you don't hold those values yourself. You can't be going on about how any woman who's had too much sex ruins her """pair-bonding""" and has too much trauma to be a valuable partner, but think that men are mysteriously immune to these effects. There are some biological differences between men and women, but our brains are not THAT different.

I call it ridiculous because there are so frequently men on here coming here with all this shitty biology or unreplicated, outdated studies trying to justify what is either a simple value mismatch or some hypocritical misogyny. It's silly.

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mikey152 · 2022-10-29T13:18:46+00:00

If you’re over 21 and an alcoholic, you’re a loser…if you’re under 21 and an alcoholic, you’re cool.

But at the end of the day, you’re still an alcoholic.

BreezyBritt89 · 2022-10-29T13:24:50+00:00

Have you ever lived in a small town? Big Bubba is fucking everything that moves at closing time. Skeeter down the street doesn’t have shit to his name but has 4 kids. I’ve seen it happen in cities too but where I grew up there were some real winners. I will say,I know that there ARE some men who have/feel they have to strive that hard but it’s not always the case. A lot of “high-N” men are dumpster diving on Saturday night with the drunkest woman they can find.

Sure sex may be easier for women,but the “easiest” men are usually undesirable. Even if he was attractive,if I found he had a insanely high number (some of them will proudly tell you a triple digit when they’re in their early 20s,I personally think that’s insane) I’d be pretty put off. He’s been ridden like the town bicycle already by 24? It shows he has no standards sexually,which would give me pause,why would you want to have sex with someone who probably isn’t wildly,primally attracted to you because you aren’t special or desirable to him. From the streets he came and to the streets he shall return.

Note: I would be feel this way about a women who told me she fucked an insane number of men,I’ve had that happen too. I usually base it on their age how much is too much. I don’t know if that’s fair but that’s the rule I’ve followed most of my adult life.

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