Alternatives to redpill? I want to learn how to approach women. I also get told when I stop looking it happens but what’s that mean, stop talking to women?

DaftWarror181 · 2022-12-20T21:50:15+00:00

Making friends with women is a good start and will ultimately help you in learning how to be more comfortable around them. Start hanging out with them more and don't fear the "friend-zone." I've actually dated women I've met through women I was friends with.

Xx_SwordWords_xX · 2022-12-21T00:47:20+00:00

There is no alternative to such outlandish "theories".

It's not a math equation or puzzle to solve; it's two people connecting and interacting. Have you never made a friend before? Have you never interacted with another human being, so as to not be weird, but instead be interesting?

Finding someone to date doesn't start out a whole lot different than finding a friend in 3rd grade (of any gender). If this seems really foreign to you, maybe look deeper at whether or not you have any socialisation issues.

Diaming787 · 2022-12-20T19:41:18+00:00

Just treat her like a human, without expectations.

Nightchanger · 2022-12-21T00:10:55+00:00

If you're going to want to be able to "Pickup" women. You're going to inevitably be sucked back into RP.

There's no alternative in this regard. This is one of the cases that all desire leads to suffering.

fathergoose77 · 2022-12-20T19:41:07+00:00

The alternative to red pill is just living your life. Red pill gives guys a set of rules and instruction to follow which they claim will lead to women, but life doesn’t work like that because humans are so different and varied that there is no set of rules or pick up guides that are guaranteed to work. You are seeking easy “how to” instructions for complex human interactions which just doesn’t exist.

What are your current goals and what do you have to realistically do to work on them? Do you want a relationship or just a casual hookup? How old are you? Where are you going out to socialize and meet people? How long are you getting to know these women before asking them out - are they just cold approaches? Do you feel confident about your ability to socialize and have meaningful conversations overall?

Without this information, it’s hard to give advice.

_Terrible_Advice_ · 2022-12-20T20:50:12+00:00

Therapy is a great first step.

I doesn't really sound like you bought into the whole red pill thing, so you have a positive start. The most important thing is to know that women and men have a lot of the same thoughts/worries/dreams as each other.

If you want to meet people outside of dating apps; explore hobbies. Practice playful flirting and such.

Don't rush it. :)

Sad_Apple_1911 · 2022-12-21T00:13:59+00:00

Make friends with women to know how to socially interact with them

thrownawaytodaysr · 2022-12-21T02:16:22+00:00

As others have said, befriend women. Take opportunities to make friends and, through them, engage socially. As your social circle broadens, you will meet more people, befriend, and eventually meet someone with whom you click and then dating becomes possible.

That's the only viable alternative I identified to online dating. It worked fine but I prefer online dating.

AssistTemporary8422 · 2022-12-21T05:01:53+00:00

Anyways, I’m trying to avoid dating apps.

Dating apps are where things are headed so you should do online dating. But you will get your best results IRL so it should only be a supplement.

I want to be approaching women IRL

Having a social life where you naturally meet women is another way too.

but I tend to suck at being upfront because I assume compliments show them interest but usually I just end up making them think I only want friendship, which is fine if that’s my intention.

You need to make statements that show your interest, flirt, and tease.

I’ve been told by some dudes that once they stopped trying it worked but those dudes are attractive and I don’t understand how you “stop” trying because eventually I’ll need to approach and practice flirting, talking etc right?

If your only serious problem is you are being too try-hard and needy then stopping trying will work. But if thats not you, then it won't work.

but I don’t really have many friends who I can meet women thru either

If you are having trouble making friends, you will have trouble getting a girlfriend. Fix this.

xvszero · 2022-12-21T07:47:48+00:00

I also get told when I stop looking it happens

That's nonsense people say just to make you feel better. In most cases, especially as a man, you will need to put in some effort to find a partner.

And I wouldn't totally avoid dating apps. Use whatever tools you have access to.

domitori3 · 2022-12-20T21:52:37+00:00

Would recommend to read "The Tactical Guide to Women" by Shawn T Smith. He's a certified psychologist, so it's not a mix of broscience.

SentientReality · 2022-12-20T21:35:33+00:00

In my opinion here are the three best things you can do to raise you chances of successfully dating women, in order:

1) Become comfortable in your own skin. It took me a long time to really understand what "confidence" actually meant. It doesn't mean being 007 James Bond or acting like a smooth operator who always has has the perfect words to say. No, it's being comfortable with yourself exactly the way you are, whether you are shy and reserved or silly and playful or tremendously geeky or whatever. You're not trying to prove anything, you're ok with your so-called shortcomings. Other people — in this case women — sense this comfort and confidence and ease you have with yourself and it is very attractive. It draws people to you and makes them like you, and it turns women on more than anything else. Conversely, when someone is trying to be someone they're not, trying to act cool or come across a certain way, it broadcasts a subconscious signal that you are insecure and not comfortable with yourself.

2) Go out and do stuff. Participate in activities you enjoy where you will meet new people. You can't have relations with women if you never meet women. Go to group hangouts with new friends. Meeting a friend of a friend is a very common way of starting a relationship. Don't be shy to talk with women, but don't try to pick them up either, just chat and ask questions and let your tone and facial expressions naturally show that you are attracted to them. If they like you too, they'll reciprocate, otherwise not. If you try to play it coy/cool then they might think you're not interested.

3) Get in shape. This isn't as important and #1 and #2, but it still can make a substantial difference.

Those 3 things are enough. You don't need methods to "pick up" women. When the chemistry is there and you're both interested in each other then it's easy. Just like when you make new male friends, you can tell when somebody would probably be interested in seeing you again and so you can suggest meeting up again sometime soon.

deityknowsphilosphy · 2022-12-21T00:00:56+00:00

Feminism! Learning about and Advocating for equality. So many books have been written about experiences under patriarchy, a lot are also about toxic masculinity and how it negatively affects men. Philosophy, politics, making an effort to learn and do better. You’re not doing this to ‘get women’, it’s not a course in pickup artistry, it’s about being secure in yourself and your understanding of others. Partners recognize this effort when made, and most are just looking to be heard and understood :)

medlabunicorn · 2022-12-21T15:38:20+00:00

It’s old now, but I always liked the ‘Paging Dr. NerdLove’ podcast

enriquegp · 2022-12-22T23:34:50+00:00

Hi there. Check out Good Looking Loser and Kill Your Inner Loser. They are red pill adjacent but they removed themselves from the real toxic things and focus solely on hardcore self-improve while playing the numbers game online and off.

DisasterPeace7 · 2022-12-25T04:04:47+00:00

Overcome any intimidation that you have in terms of talking to them, and be direct, if she says no thanks, you thank her for her time and walk away, if she's interested, great, this way you don't have to worry about the friendzone or anything like that

BlackSilkEy · 2023-01-18T18:26:28+00:00

Inbox me

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