Common “bad boy” traits associated with the dark triad like being egocentric, coldhearted, rebellious and fearless in moderate amounts tend to be attractive to women. However, most men (especially recovering “nice guys”) don’t understand the moderate part. It is attractive to be coldhearted in certain situations, like when you’re an executive and you have to cut a struggling division, because this often translates to career success. It is not attractive to be coldhearted when your wife is in labor or your kid just broke their wrist. It is attractive to be fearless when a burglar is in your house and you go and subdue them without losing your composure. It is not attractive to be fearless when you’re on the highway and playing chicken with a semi truck. And so on and so forth. Many men who have been too nice overcompensate by being overly selfish and callous, and don’t understand that this is unattractive as well. Additionally, traits like rebelliousness are less attractive in societies that value stability like China, where traditionally respected occupations like doctors are most valued. The reality is, genuine kindness, optimism and generosity are valued by most women, but they should be counterbalanced by reasonable amounts of dark triad traits when necessary. This is called becoming an “integrated man” and is the ideal that most men should strive for.
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