Married and Lost Desire

Tyred_Biggums · 2023-01-27T00:02:52+00:00

Do whatever the fuck your want. We don’t care.

PutABabyInThat · 2023-01-26T16:45:47+00:00

I’d rather rub one out

Seems like you'd also rather rub one out to the idea of divorce instead of actually going through with it.

She doesn’t like long make out sessions. She’s not really a kisser. I only get 1-2 peck kisses a day. We went on vacation recently and didn’t even have sex

Because you lost attraction, right?

intothegreatbelow · 2023-01-26T16:32:58+00:00

Call me crazy, but I would say a man coming to askMRP and writing this drivel is not the type of man who is going to have a variety of women begging to jump on his dick.

You seem to have already defined what it is that you want (though I suspect this is all bullshit), so why not just do it? What are you scared of?

NihlusStylus · 2023-01-26T18:41:18+00:00

I believe it’s the fact that I just despise monogamy and I want variety.
Why would anyone torture themselves to be relegated to 1 woman for life.
I made the wrong decision and I’m miserable right now. Luckily we have no kids or property together, I want to live alone

It seems you already know what to do, but are too scared to do something about it.

There is no cure, you'll just have to live the rest of your life like a coward! ;)

Lift, sidebar, STFU

redwall92 · 2023-01-26T14:38:11+00:00

This isn't a diary OP. What are you going to do? Acta non-verba.

Either create your slut (look up some posts about how to do that). Or don't. What do you want?

We don't care.

olebobman · 2023-01-26T19:15:50+00:00

You have work to do and it starts with reading the sidebar. Once, twice, and three times for good measure to digest the material. During that time, you need to learn to shut your mouth, go lift heavy (develop lifting routine & diet plan), build an interesting life for you, and figure out what you want. For a guy that has lost interest in his wife, you seem to have spoken a lot about her in this post... Get to work and come back when you have a specific question to your journey.

NoRolexNoSex · 2023-01-26T20:14:20+00:00

Either you have low T or she’s an obese woman with no intent to lose weight or be sexy. Get on the treadmill and lift weights at the same time for maximum results. Oh and stop eating for a year

CaptainJackSorrow · 2023-01-26T16:06:44+00:00

Check your testosterone.

ragnar_Daneskjold · 2023-01-26T17:21:52+00:00

I want to live alone, not have anybody walk in on me on the toilet....as I please and enjoy *myself to the company of many different females \pornhub videos*

Please post to oys, 1 month for every year you've been married, and then we can have a vote on allowing you to divorce or not.

disgruntleddigger · 2023-01-26T17:09:04+00:00

Who stopped initiating first? Is this one of those, she rejected you then you convinced yourself you never wanted it anyway.

And now I can’t even wank without her around….

ice_walker · 2023-01-26T16:55:58+00:00

From your lack of stats on your lifts I can tell you’re a fat, lazy, grown-ass man who spends his time masturbating, playing video games and whining about his low sex drive, do I get this right?

hitbythetren · 2023-01-26T15:33:52+00:00

I’m right there with you. Married 20 years in May. Been a mostly dead bedroom the last few years leaving me pretty frustrated. I found this place a while back and read some posts from horns about separating sex from validation. So I separated the two. I now have no sex drive for my wife. Zero. This started last November or so.

I guess I don’t have any real desire for her once you take the validation away. She’s pretty attractive and fit. We both are really. My hormones are fine. I’ve been on TRT for years and get my hormones checked every 3 months. I enjoy porn and flirting with other women.

I just have zero desire to fuck my wife. I don’t really like her as a person. We fuck when she wants to which amounts to once or twice a week. I haven’t initiated since December last year. Sometimes I even avoid her when I think she is acting like she wants to fuck. Thinking about her naked and fucking actually kind of grosses me out now. Weird that I used to put her on such a pedestal.

I’d love to leave and live my own life. Have my own place. Just enjoy being single for a while. But I won’t do that right now. I have 2 young kids and I choose not to uproot their lives right now. Maybe I will later. Maybe I won’t.

captainkeyes_99 · 2023-01-27T15:58:44+00:00

Jesus christ OP, you're donkey deep in denial. You married a woman, she realised you're a chump and the sex life dried up. Rightfully so. You're a pussy. But then you tell yourself it's your choice, that you're no longer attracted to her and whats that the lil baby wants a divorce. Did you come on here to seek our validation? Because we can see right through you. Man up, OP. She deserves better.

fryhldrew · 2023-01-26T14:29:17+00:00

I assume you wish for a mutual agreement and situation? That is, she gets to fuck the men she wants, just like you?

I think you really need to consider your priorities, and if you think this is a deal breaker, divorce her.

riga345 · 2023-01-27T09:04:48+00:00

MRP has a weird response to these kinds of posts, as you can see in this thread. The sub is premised on the idea of reviving a shitty marriage, so the idea of someone who has a decent marriage but isn't happy with it gets people wound up here. A lot of guys here don't like the idea that the woman can be responsible for decreased sex in a marriage. You also see a lot of female-style shaming, eg. accusing you of having low T, accusing you of being unattractive, etc. Rollo talks about how women do this all the time, they say a guy has a small dick or calling him gay as the go-to insult because it undermines his sexual appeal.

One thing to remember is by definition, 80%+ of men are beta males, the median man you meet is a beta male, and beta males are more likely to seek out advice on how to fix their marriage. Telling beta males something that undermines the concept of marriage is threatening. Redpill content has this weird internal contradiction where it constantly shits on beta males, but by definition the vast majority of redpill audience is beta males.

Wrt to the content of your post, yes, this is very common and perfectly normal for men. Most men are wired to want variety. Rollo calls the male sexual strategy "unlimited access to unlimited sexuality." Marriage without a side chick is unlimited access to 1 pussy. Not exactly the male sexual strategy.

You don't have kids. Marriage without kids isn't even a real marriage. What's the big deal? Just get a divorce. It's a glorified breakup.

The real dilemma comes is if you want kids, and want to raise them in a two parent household. I don't think there is an easy answer there.

ghostokg · 2023-01-26T23:35:04+00:00

I just want to say that dude Andrew Huberman has some good podcasts about the nature of dopamine and motivation. I'll paraphrase, (obviously everybody is different on how easily they release dopamine) - but seems like dopamine is released to motivate you to seek reward driven behavior, and obviously you get some dopamine once you obtain the reward. So aside from disbelief in monogamy, you're probably just recognizing that dopamine does not drive you long term through too much exposure to a partner for this stage in the your life. You can't fake dopamine motivation, you biologically just see no reward to engage in sex with her, because the dopamine isn't driving it. Dopamine loves surprise rewards, it loves new things, it's a learned reward pattern. There is no longer any dopamine reward with her and you physically. Might as well move on and divorce if you dont have kids. You'll see just how strong dopamine is for a newer younger partner.

Meteor1x · 2023-01-28T03:23:56+00:00

Damn it. So many broken fridges are being reported lately that I’m speculating for a planned obsolescence by the manufacturers

464_CONDOR · 2023-01-28T10:55:18+00:00

How old are you OP?

alphamale_011 · 2023-02-13T06:42:14+00:00

Then leave her

Or maybe do a mental test first: Yeah I get it when the relationship is stable we tend to look at other women for novelty..that is normal

Now you interpret this as you not wanting her anymore right?

Imagine now will you be ok if she leaves you instead? A lot of guys are like this; fool around get bored with wife. Seek new pussy UNTIL their wife starts to show signs of leaving them! They will be super alarmed and will find their way here.

Yes I am talking about "love" here and the "Alpha" kids are already angry. But this sht is a real question, Do you really "love" her or are you just bored right now?

Maybe do your MAP as well. How is it going? Are you taking care of yourself? How are your hobbies? Maybe focus on the important things too. Maybe she will start initiating more and you will find that sexy.

adeptintact · 2023-03-09T19:56:06+00:00

No kids and no house. Divorce her. I don't see the issue here.

Title	Married and Lost Desire
Author	Drifts80
Upvotes	1
Comments	78
Date	January 26, 2023 2:24 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/10lsxsx/married_and_lost_desire/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/married-and-lost-desire.1150153 https://theredarchive.com/post/1150153

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