What is the drive to find another partner ASAP?

ABBucsfan · 2023-02-15T23:23:06+00:00

A lot of it is societal conditioning it feels like and.. people feeling horny lol .. we grow up being told the pinnacle of humanity is being in a relationship.. our hormones scream at us. You take those out of the picture and there is really no logical reason, especially if you have no future plans for kids. I can't think of any good reason myself. And even though we all feel longings I know reality is life has always been better when I'm single. Every relationship has always had too many ups and downs and generally more downs. Simplicity and peace are more important to me at this point than excitement

OklahomaDrill · 2023-02-16T00:34:06+00:00

I think part of it is you’re trying to find a replacement. You’ve been with this person for 10 or 20 years and now you’re not. The marriage ended, and part of that drive is to ‘fix’ things. If you have a new mate, it’s almost like nothing happened. You want to show up your ex, like ‘look at me, I’m way better off’…even more so if they have someone.

playerknowmore · 2023-02-16T02:36:52+00:00

Most of the time it only looks like they found someone new fast. Half the time that person they found so fast is the real reason for the divorce. My friend didn't find out his wife was cheating until three years after the divorce. He was still giving her money until he found out.

CaliDude75 · 2023-02-16T01:04:40+00:00

I’m more interested in quality over availability. My two post-separation hookups were not especially satisfying.

Don’t get me wrong, I crave a physical relationship, but it’s not the only thing I care about.

SecretDoctor8121 · 2023-02-16T09:28:25+00:00

No worries about this time.Once you realized we are leftovers in lot of women eyes that drive will go away soon.

Tiger_27 · 2023-02-16T11:59:21+00:00

Follow your brain.

007--Chill · 2023-02-19T15:47:57+00:00

Fk enjoy the single. It will make you a better person.

david10277 · 2023-02-16T01:22:23+00:00

Forget dating agian..I'm emotionally unavailable I just want to bang a hot young chick every now and then without the relationship part..

Yeah theres a app for that:))

AlmostThere22 · 2023-02-15T23:44:08+00:00

Starting of the process of divorcing my wife currently. Two young boys involved.

I've banged 50 different women. Have been with hundreds.

When I met my wife I gamed her per usual and wow she was incredible and entered my frame quickly. She was what I was looking for and thought she was my soul mate.

8 years later and 4 years of marriage it's over.

I tried getting on Tinder this week to find a random girl to fuck.

I just don't have the emotional availability to even try and find someone to bang right now.

I'm 33 btw

Gattsama · 2023-02-16T06:02:51+00:00

In my case I just wanted companionship and sex. I would go on 4-6 dates, not have any interest and then a few weeks later do it again. As it turned out there was a coworker with a huge crush on me and she confessed her feelings. We have know each other for years and she's also going through a divorce (that's how we bonded).

We meet a few times a week for video games, skiing, and sex. So far it's awesome. I have been 100% honest that I am never getting married again, not looking for long term commitment, will move in the next few years, and only want to focus on today. She claims the same, stating she needs to focus on divorce and her kids (sophomore in college and junior in HS) and has a large social network. She wants companionship and genuine affection/sex.

I said no single moms and no coworkers, but she got grandfathered in :) She's super cool, and technically out ranks me at work. I spend zero money on her. I don't cancel plans for her. I am not healed and have trust issues, which I also make her aware of. Thus is not going to be a forever relationship. But that's not my goal.

Compared to the eX she is physically fit (didn't appreciate what a difference that makes in bed), genuinely interested in me, never complains, always happy and smiling, bakes me stuff and sane.

Setting seeing boundaries and being vulnerable. So far so good. Also in my case I filed. I think thY makes a bug difference because I was red pilled while married, and went from being a super simp, to withdrawn, dead bed and ended emotionally divorced. And no kids. So while hurt, I didn't getted fucked over like some of the guys here. I just had to pay financial lol 😆 🤑

jimsmythee · 2023-02-16T16:12:40+00:00

The drive? For a lot of guys that came from Dead-Bedroom marriages, the drive to find a partner is to be touched "that way" again.

Classic_Dill · 2023-02-16T18:23:47+00:00

Have you done any work on yourself? do you even have a full range of emotions currently? waiting before dating is sooooo important, it takes awhile, go slooooow! great partners are extremely difficult to find, this is a walk not a sprint.

Crushed_95 · 2023-02-17T11:12:26+00:00

Man got women lined up trying to get with me that know of my divorce last year and I'm absolutely getting with NONE of them! Fuck them and fuck a relationship! Whenever I get horny I just order vagina off the internet just like I do pizza!

Title	What is the drive to find another partner ASAP?
Author	Boomer70770
Upvotes	11
Comments	24
Date	February 15, 2023 11:15 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/113bjr0/what_is_the_drive_to_find_another_partner_asap/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/what-is-the-drive-to-find-another-partner-asap.1152514 https://theredarchive.com/post/1152514

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