I've been going though a really rough time of feeling unloved. I recently found someone who has the same type of anxiety that I do. She said a bunch of sweet things to me, said how comfortable we were together and for the first time in my life I thought I found someone who understands me.

And she did, but it wasn't enough.

I dont understand how a girl can come to your place, say how genuine and sweet you are, and initiate a kiss, only to tell you she feels nothing for you and disappear.

The way she kissed my neck, told me I was capable of anything, and fell asleep on me. I honestly thought it was over. I thought I found someone who treated me like a human being. But she was just as bad as everyone else. She used me for some short term comfort. My wellbeing meant nothing to her.

And now I'm alone again, girls on tinder turning out to just be selling me nudes. Girls from work ask me out, then say they don't want to date anyone from work.

Everyone of my women friends tell me I deserve better, but not a single woman on earth has actually treated me like someone who has feelings.

I honestly don't see the point in living anymore. I'm not a person who can be alone, but I'm 5 for 5 with women now. Everyone women that has ever kissed me has used me for personal gain. I feel like I have so much love to give, but no one on earth who sees me as anything but a free drink and a cute face.

I dont even drink really, but I've been ripping beers after work. Woman have ruined me. I don't want to live in a world where they are so horrible. They just take from you. Everytime I shake off my prejudice and give it my all it just keeps happening.

Told I'm not enough of a man, told I'm not assertive enough, told I don't make enough, told I'm too nice. Lied to my face about what I mean to them, only for them to say it wasn't even true. I don't know how they live with themselves.

They tell me I'm everything I want, then they leave.

Meanwhile, the men in my life that are the biggest pieces of shit on earth pulling women left and right.

I feel so defeated. I don't know what to do. I can't be alone, but I honestly think the next girl might drive me to the end.

I don't even know if this makes sense, I'm drunk. I havn't felt ok in weeks. No one in my life cares how I'm really doing. I'm suffering in silence and I just want it to stop. I don't know if this is a cry for help, or just venting. I don't know anymore. It just hurts to be alive at this point. No one cares what happens to me. I'm just an object for their amusement.