After chasing Chad's commitment only to get abused and dumped, Carol finally accepts spinster status.

butt_uglee · 2021-04-11T16:57:24+00:00

How strong brave and courageous... to not get what you want... and be OK with it.

RealMcGonzo · 2021-04-11T17:15:25+00:00

Five years of daily crying over some guy she never even dated (presumably shagged, tho). That's Therapy Level right there. Chick needs a shrink. At least this alpha-widow isn't making another person miserable by "settling" for a very distant second.

EDIT: This is literally like one of us saying "I'm not settling! Unless she's as hot as the hottest chick I ever talked to, no thanks." We all know how the fuck that works out.

throwaway-8868 · 2021-04-11T17:03:30+00:00

Good lord. The people talking up "strong independent" women really don't give a fuck about women huh?

Martellus732 · 2021-04-11T17:16:40+00:00

Crabs in a bucket stay together; they know this is not normal but have to keep making excuses - "Being single is a choice I'm making by not settling for less than what I want.."; keep telling yourself that if that temporarily makes you numb.

Also being single for women is not the same for men; for men, being single is really being single; for women, being single just means not in a long-term monogamous relationship.

Women are mostly responsible for their relationship woes & decline but refuse to admit it; blaming it on abuse, be used, social-economics, etc....they are never willing to take any responsibility - AWALT.

THUNDERBUTTBALLKICKR · 2021-04-11T17:38:42+00:00

Who told them they were entitled to the perfect guy for them, let me guess disney and fairy tails? Can you imagine being alive for 30+ years and still thinking prince charming is just gonna show up for "pretty and nice". Fucking delusional.

Marriage, relationships take time, energy, commitment to work. It's a deal you make with a other person to be there and with and for. If you're starting off with getting used and abused as a deal breaker you are in for a bad time. Somebody in every deal gets the short end of a stick and it can flip flop back and forth. Mom's might get more of the shitty diapers and dad's get yard work. Man gets access to sex, woman gets resources. Together they make families.

These gals just want shit given to them with no effort. The married friend larping with the spinster is putting his marriage in jeopardy by just being around her.

crackermachine · 2021-04-11T17:24:48+00:00

I wish we gave them a small country to run, only by women, and see how long it takes until they ask for help

Pubesauce · 2021-04-11T18:01:49+00:00

Being single is a choice I'm making by not settling for less than what I want just for the sake of being with someone.

The problem with this attitude is that women only consider about 5% of men a good catch. So almost every man is someone they'd feel like they are "settling" for. This results in women fiercely competing for a small number of men who have absolutely no reason to commit to one woman, and a whole lot of other men desperately trying to find any woman at all that will accept them.

Women with this mentality end up either a) getting pregnant by Chad and falling back on a beta bux or the government to financially support them, or b) refusing to "settle" for a guy actually in their league and resenting all men as a consequence of them not being able to lock down Chad. Both end up bitter and dissatisfied because they didn't get what they felt like they deserved from men.

It can't be overstated what the eventual societal consequences of this mentality will be. We're already seeing it in the results of single mother parenting. We're also seeing it in the blatant anti-male bias that many women exhibit in both politics and the workplace.

The alpha widow phenomenon is having a huge destabilizing effect on society and we're only beginning to see the consequences of it. It is making absolutely everybody but Chad miserable in the long run and results in an extremely anti-social mindset for everyone who loses out as a result of it - scammed beta bux, impoverished and exhausted single mothers, the kids of those single mothers suffering from mental issues and engaging in criminal behavior, the taxpayers who have to foot the bill for women choosing to have and/or raise children outside of marriage, and aging spinsters who will spend the latter half of their life raising cats while on a cocktail of psychiatric drugs.

There are reasons why traditional values existed. It kept human nature in check. And now that we have seen what female behavior is like unchecked, we need to seriously consider if all of the old social norms were worth throwing away for the sake of "progress".

newtomtl83 · 2021-04-11T18:06:30+00:00

There is a woman like that at work. She’s in her 50s. She does these little activities alone. When she received the promotion she had been working for 5 years, she told me she celebrated by buying an individual piece of cake that she ate alone. She had to go work a year on the other side of the country, she didn’t even take her dog with her. She left it to a sitter and the dog died. But sure, you’re completely fine and life is wonderful.

me_at_myhouse · 2021-04-11T17:32:50+00:00

Classis self-description of the 5 stages of grief.

Denial - "I've been single for 10 years, but better late than never"
Anger - "When will that happen to me"
Bargaining - "Well fuck it, life is great"
Depression - "All my friends are married and I feel like something is missing"
Acceptance - "I'll be the coolest Auntie ever"

All she needs now is a cat or three.

NoRookieMistakes · 2021-04-11T17:14:11+00:00

It's fine if they prefer to stay single if they cant get Chad. But please dont get pregnant before having a long-term relationship or your poor children will be raised without a father figure.

Wildhouse83 · 2021-04-11T17:33:47+00:00

Alpha widow at its best.

Dunkman83 · 2021-04-11T17:25:09+00:00

welp, she will be bitter and alone.

i couldnt imagine "chasing" someone for 5 entire years.. insane.

imagine all the good guys she looked down her nose at during that time frame.

me-dgaf · 2021-04-11T17:25:31+00:00

TLDR: nobody wants my neurotic ass, so I'm making a virtue out of necessity by celebrating gratitude for being thoroughly rejected.

DrDog09 · 2021-04-11T18:00:23+00:00

I see, all men are animals routine on display.

He expects me to cook dinner. Yet his changing the oil in her car counts for nothing.

He expects me to take care of the kids. Yet he goes to the office day in day out and get abused by a boss and it counts for nothing.

He expects me to do laundry. Yet he is out there mowing the lawn every week.

Yeah he is so abusive. Damn.

DoctorMars81 · 2021-04-11T17:25:57+00:00

"I might be a used-up, childless hag...but that's okay."

Her rationalization hamster is swole af. Cope harder, sweetie.

itsandrewbuck · 2021-04-11T18:18:40+00:00

I've been single for 10 years

Ok homies, translation service here:

"For the past 10 years I've let every lowlife I met pump me full of cum. I'm not sure what the red bumps are or why it hurts so much when I pee, and I don't really care. Oh, and I don't mean 1 at a time - there were nights in dive bars which I barely remember. I do remember leaking for a week at a time sometimes... The only thing that really matters is that they're a lowlife thug criminal badboy. I'm completely uninterested in anyone good or decent whose life makes humanity better. I just want to destroy it all, starting with myself and any children unfortunate enough to come out of my hooha."

Rook_Cross · 2021-04-11T17:40:33+00:00

Not necessarily a Chad. Women lie, or change the definition of abuse to garner sympathy, it can also be verbal. It's not uncommon for women, or men, to be hung up like this, sometimes decades later, even after they get married. It seems that seeing other people move on and get married has woken her up. If she's in their bracket then it's not too late for her. However, people damaged like this get addicted to the roller coaster and remembrance of the high/extreme feelings even when it is not a chad (and that's my objection, nothing screams chad, just typical hyperbole of such posts). So still pining even when married and not a catch, especially if he shows back up on scene, or facebook.

Euphoric-Cycle1688 · 2021-04-11T18:25:00+00:00

I love these posts, this is like analyzing and spotting stylistic devices, implicit meanings etc. in literature classes

sleepyweaselisawake · 2021-04-11T18:30:24+00:00

Women are victims of the system they created, but of course men are the problem. It's not their taste in men, their commitment to chasing their tingles, or their expectations that they only deserve the absolute cream of the crop.

She's not choosing to be single. She's settling for being single because that's all that's left for her. Some years ago I made the decision to leave relationships behind. My life got exponentially better as a result and the steady stream of women in my life has yet to dry up.

And, since I have absolute freedom to do as I please, I decided to change industries and locations this summer. I'm moving to a new place where I'll have new opportunities to pump and dump while women like her while away the days and long for the haydays of their wasted youth.

styckx · 2021-04-11T17:28:25+00:00

This is the textbook definition of WAATGM when they say Leftovers can overlap with the Epiphany Phase. This is the gold standard example

2021-04-11T18:02:43+00:00

[permanently deleted]

mustangfrank · 2021-04-11T18:43:17+00:00

Too bad she over looked the 80% who would value her, rather than chase Chad who has no reason to choose her when he can choose as many as he wants

Boo Hoo WAATGM? But they have to be 666..

askmrcia · 2021-04-11T18:24:22+00:00

Yea you're not fooling anyone. You're not OK if you're jealous of your friends being married, going on and on about being single for ten years and using words like "might" when it comes to your future.

"Might" is telling us you're still holding on for "hope".

Sankdamoney · 2021-04-11T22:55:33+00:00

Why is she hanging out with a married dude and his kids?

bats000 · 2021-04-11T18:27:05+00:00

One word: hamsterbation

LastRedshirt · 2021-04-11T19:30:55+00:00

my old self would have tried to save her, but nowadays, I just feel sad for those women. Sometimes one ponders, if those actions are merely emotional based without any reason or logic.

Devilsgun · 2021-04-11T19:24:22+00:00

Alpha Widowed

Soul beneath a permanent black veil of memories... Memories of disregard for her feelings, rude comments, cruel situations, inequities, highs and lows, and that big ol' dick and how it felt up inside of her, how when he pushed up inside of her guts she felt something other than... Hollowness. Who could ever compete with that rollercoaster of emotions? Nobody took her as high, or dropped her as low, or could be so cruel and yet so tender...

You will never capture her emotions like that, or dominate her being like he did, but your money looks pretty good right about now, seeing how his money still goes to hookers and blow instead of child support, so I guess you will do... For now.

She doesn't need to know your name, or who you are as a person. You're temporary. His Mighty Name is enshrined in her heart forever though, just as surely as it is enshrined in the local PD database.

mimiczx · 2021-04-11T20:17:12+00:00

Engage Wine Aunt mode!

CisgenderPig · 2021-04-11T21:20:09+00:00

We'll see how long her coping mechanism lasts.

all_tha_sauce · 2021-04-12T05:01:49+00:00

Imagine a man who does nothing but sit on his ass, sucking down Mountain Dew and Doritos everyday. He doesn't work out, educate himself, find a decent job, or even approach women so obviously he doesn't get the women he wants...but he won't settle for anything less than a model.

He puts in absolutely zero effort to get what he wants. Does that make him strong and courageous? No. It makes him a loser by his own choice. But women one the other hand will have a shit load of guys in the friend zone and won't put in any effort to find a guy. They just hope he falls in their lap. They're "courageous"

ThrowAway_Dantes · 2021-04-11T19:16:26+00:00

Another Savy Auntie

2021-04-11T23:05:09+00:00

You set the standard. Let's say that you had 5 gold bars and sold it all for a rusty nickel. He didn't steal, you made that deal. If you tell the world who has the motto "Every man for himself" that you're selling 5 gold bars for a rusty nickel you're gonna get the worst crowd and even some yesterday saints taking advantage knowing you don't understand value.

Once upon a time when I was a 6 year old bicycling through town I gave my savings I had in my pocket of $50 to get a beautiful but cheap antique plate from a yard sale and I tell my daddy gleaming "LOOK I GOT A NEW ANTIQUE FOR MY COLLECTION" and once he knew how much I spent daddy was mad. I always loved antiques but boy did I get a hard lesson of how things are valued. When you're first understanding how the world operates it can be brutal but then you get a wave of calm over ya when you realize...

"I am in control! I let this happen, but I can let great things happen too! Now that I understand value I will never again cheat myself out. If you have self love and self respect they will soon know they can't take advantage. By claiming you don't have control you will be afraid of the world when you shouldn't be! I know it sucks to take responsibility for this but by accepting it now you won't have anymore stories like this

GrannyLesbian · 2021-04-11T21:37:41+00:00

This is even funnier to read when stoned.

imdaad_khan · 2021-04-11T21:46:42+00:00

This is the FDS version of “The fox and the grapes”

2021-04-12T01:22:55+00:00

I'd put a tenner that the 'male mate' she went on a walk with is the guy who she chased, who she admits did not return the attraction, for 5 years.

It's okay to be single guys.

EDIT: It is also okay to not chase someone who clearly does not like you guys.

Bluecherrysoft · 2021-04-12T10:49:17+00:00

she is ok with it because she can still pull dicks. How ok will she be if no one wants to fuck her anymore

2021-04-12T12:56:36+00:00

Fuckzoned women are rather bitter. Women can't seem to understand men dont owe them commitment/relationships/resources.

ghs14 · 2021-04-11T19:28:49+00:00

How to bear crying someone for a long time, that leads for sickness and ulcers.

kyledontcare · 2021-04-12T00:03:04+00:00

Keep working 10-12 hours a day until you're 65 and let those eggs dry up and blow away. Don't worry, you'll probably have some really good comapny soon.

BluepillProfessor · 2021-04-12T02:24:36+00:00

Thats a brutal and potentially terminal case of Chaddiction right their fellows. Textbook case of Alpha Widow.

InevitableOwl1 · 2021-04-12T11:29:19+00:00

It reminds me of a post where a woman spent 4 years mourning a 4 months relationship. Like how Alpha widowed do you have to be?

This one is far more extreme of course. Although we don't know what "that never even started" actually means. To rational people we read it at face value and assume no relationship. But who knows how many times she slept with this particular guy. And retrospectively doesn't "count" it because they never went on a date

And then you apply this thinking to "single for 10 years" as well. Almost certainly not what guys understand as "single"

And am I reading this right - she was alpha widowed and mourning for 5 years but still hasn't had a relationship in the 5 years after that?! Jeebus

vivab0rg · 2021-04-12T13:25:08+00:00

Nice mental gymnastics you got there.

loneliness-inc · 2021-04-12T13:42:59+00:00

[permanently deleted]

CisgenderPig · 2021-04-13T17:05:44+00:00

Gotta spin to win.

BLGSigismund · 2021-04-14T00:37:10+00:00

This useless fucking hole also cheated on the guy she mentioned.

whytehorse2017 · 2021-04-20T17:47:50+00:00

I can relate. I got to sleep with Alpha Mar**n for a couple months before she aborted our child and ran off with Chad. I was depressed for a couple years and then I grew up, got a job, and set my expectations realistically. Ironically, I was the "bad boy" drug dealer back then but now I'm the stable, highly educated, financially secure father raising his kids with a wife who thinks I'm Alpha Bux+Fuxx. Last I checked Alpha Mar**n partied a little too hard and now looks like Mama Fratelli.

xxb4xx · 2021-04-11T23:54:52+00:00

To be honest, this isn't that bad.

She's come to the point of being happy with herself rather than wishing she was someone else.

This is a good first step in the right direction whether it's a guy or girl.

Title	After chasing Chad's commitment only to get abused and dumped, Carol finally accepts spinster status.
Author	kevin32
Upvotes	467
Comments	151
Date	April 11, 2021 4:52 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen/comments/moud6b/after_chasing_chads_commitment_only_to_get_abused/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen/after-chasing-chads-commitment-only-to-get-abused.1188964 https://theredarchive.com/post/1188964

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