Balancing the financial factors in dating versus paying for sex/selling sex

flapperfemmefatale · 2021-03-22T15:48:18+00:00

If you can't get sex without spending money on the person you want to have sex with, you're paying for sex.

If you won't have sex with someone unless they spend money on you, you're selling sex.

NockerJoe · 2021-03-22T06:53:18+00:00

I'm not for sale and I consider anyone who consideres that level of provisioning to be a requirement to be for sale. I've had women offer to pay for even just basic meals while trying to get me to like them and I find even that to be extremley uncomfortable. Even when giving and recieving gifts I prefer things that have some level of sentimental value over anything with a substantial price tag, regardless of how much I wanted that thing before it was gifted to me, because again, it feels like trying to buy love.

When I was young and insecure I was more willing to pay on a first date but looking back the women I was most excited to date also were willing to split the bill as a matter of course and the women I was dating for validation or lonliness were the ones assuming I'd pay. The latter group often came with many other connotations that made them worse partners in general.

kissmetilyouredrunk · 2021-03-22T05:25:02+00:00

If you use finances as part of your game and not ALL of your game ( gifting , dinners, experiences etc ) while trying to make sure there is a personal connection ( to some basic level ) are you still paying for sex ?

Yes.

Sage_Planter · 2021-03-22T06:24:12+00:00

If the only thing you do is "here's a necklace, now open your legs for me," then sure.

Most couples do more than exchange gifts and have sex, though.

pre-DrChad · 2021-03-22T06:51:48+00:00

Every man pays for sex in some way or another. Just accept it and be happy with what you get bro

Capn_Budder · 2021-03-22T05:57:56+00:00

I’ll just add that I’m young (23m) but I will not date anyone who doesn’t have a job or is not in training at all. Sex is Important and all but I don’t want the prospect of having to completely support someone while I’m still in training myself.

Pilling_it · 2021-03-22T07:30:17+00:00

You always pay though. Be it with your money, time or genetics.

But sex for money ensure there's no attraction, and it kills it for me to the point I won't even be able to be turned on. So no way around it - for me at least.

geyejoe7 · 2021-03-22T08:53:12+00:00

I'm fine paying more over time in a relationship. I get emotional security, financial security and sex security.

With a prostitute I get loveless sex and nothing else.

John_Oakman · 2021-03-22T10:27:58+00:00

All human interactions can be categorized as transactions of sorts if you dig deep enough... which is a pointless thing to do outside of scoring internet debate points and writing term papers in college.

MasterTeacher123 · 2021-03-22T10:31:04+00:00

If I’m a rich celebrity and women are fucking me just for the CHANCE that I might wife them and trick off on them, am I paying for sex even if they never see a dime?

No

Ohmaygahh · 2021-03-22T15:24:00+00:00

I'd argue that finances should not be a factor AT ALL when it comes to developing a sexual/committed relationship based on liking. The liking and attraction, alone, should be the only factor for any relationship to take place.

michael1962-01 · 2021-03-22T07:35:31+00:00

Hu? Wtf? If she's into me she'll do anything to be with me.

Stop chasing.

When she's ltr material you can gift her big things later on.

Remember - it's never dine snd wine.

It's dine and whine.

Bandit174 · 2021-03-22T06:04:45+00:00

If you use finances as part of your game and not ALL of your game ( gifting , dinners, experiences etc ) while trying to make sure there is a personal connection ( to some basic level ) are you still paying for sex ?

If she would lose interest in you if you stopped spending money on gifts and dinners then yeah you're paying for sex. Especially since that same girl likely went a lot further a lot sooner for men who did and spent a lot less.

TheJim66 · 2021-03-22T07:37:34+00:00

I've never paid more than 15 bucks for a date. In most of them I pay like 5-8 €.

If you use finances as part of your game and not ALL of your game ( gifting , dinners, experiences etc ) while trying to make sure there is a personal connection ( to some basic level ) are you still paying for sex ?

Yes. Would she sleep with you without the money ? If not then you are paying for it. Which is fine especially as you get older but it does show that women basically prostitute themselves many times when they are dating. Especially as they get older. A man shouldn't take these women seriously.

BadAssPrincessA · 2021-03-22T06:39:16+00:00

The difference is emotional connection and emotional intimacy. sex is not an actual need of life or survival. but that emotional intimacy is. people think in history that just because it existed that it wasn't shamed, that's not necessarily true. sure the church made stricter rules and laws to even further prevent their rich white daughters from getting into it, but that's because before those were laws, it was still shamed. more so because women were transactional pieces and had value as virgins, but after the church and laws got through and women's rights grew, then it transformed into the issue of "sex shouldn't be casual and should be personal".

historically, prostitution in and of itself has actually brought a lot of issues, so I personally don't agree with using sex as a transaction in and of itself. it is 1, very medieval and 2, it is way too predominantly females as the product and men as the buyers. if it is more equal of all genders selling and buying, eh, maybe, but it still feels very outdated as if our humanity isn't growing up and moving on.

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PlayfulLawyer · 2021-03-22T05:27:14+00:00

Well I'll just say this, in today's day and age especially for some of you younger guys, the young hot women are monetizing their youth like never before, whether it's onlyfans, thirst traps on Instagram, seeking Arrangements, so on and so forth, especially if you're aiming for an LTR, you're most likely paying for it one way or the other, (unless you're like a Michael B Jordan and women are just throwing themselves at you) sometimes it might be a $500 a night escort, sometimes it might rear itself in a divorce court proceeding, sometimes it might rear itself in paying for dinner , I could keep going on and on but like I said you know what time it is lol

Demasii · 2021-03-22T15:35:38+00:00

Does it work for other things in life?

My parents paid for my food when I was growing up. It made me feel taken care of it and loved. Did they pay me for my love in return?

Money is one of the ways to measure effort. If you put effort in at work, you get paid. Effort is a basic form of showing affection in interpersonal relationships.

You can show effort without money. But the effort that you put into showing your affection could have been used to make more money.

With the concept of opportunity cost you can tie anything you do with money.

IOportA · 2021-03-22T18:13:22+00:00

Dating a woman is far more expensive than paying for sex, but you can't get serotonin from a prostitute.

midwesternMD · 2021-03-23T04:27:36+00:00

I don’t think I’ve ever paid for sex outside of a few escorts back in the day. (Highly unsatisfying, though very informative, by the way)

I wouldn’t say that I use finances as part of my game (or all of my game). But my finances allow me to pretty much plan and pay for any date without worrying about the expense. If I’m in the mood for coffee and a stroll, that’s what I’ll propose. If I want to try a hot new restaurant, that’s what I’ll suggest. If we enjoy each other’s company and want to have sex, great. If we’re not a match, I did what I was going to do anyway.

To your point, I won’t bother asking a woman out for a 5th or 6th date (ish) if we’re not sexual by that point. I’d rather do my own thing than waste time with someone with shit for a sex drive. I learned from my failed marriage (dead bedroom) that an incompatible sex drive is a dealbreaker.

And for the record, I’ve dabbled in dating sugar babies. Very fun, very satisfying, but very costly.

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Title	Balancing the financial factors in dating versus paying for sex/selling sex
Author	shamloo77
Upvotes	13
Comments	87
Date	March 22, 2021 5:19 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/mafq8x/balancing_the_financial_factors_in_dating_versus/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/balancing-the-financial-factors-in-dating-versus.1189920 https://theredarchive.com/post/1189920

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