Joint bank account?

pearlsandstilettos · 2022-12-26T14:55:21+00:00

If there isn't trust and unity in your marriage then that is the issue to address not the ownership of the bank account 🤷

Diamond-Breath · 2022-12-26T19:36:15+00:00

My cousin is a housewife, they have separate bank accounts but he gave her a debit card where he deposits money for her account. It goes pretty smoothly for them.

Kaylxx_sm · 2022-12-26T15:52:30+00:00

I'd propose a joint account for things related to the household such as bills, groceries etc etc. But I also find value in each party having control over their own money. Like, you trust each other to contribute to the household, as well as trust each other to be fiscally responsible individually.

Leg_Mcmuffin · 2022-12-27T04:30:49+00:00

I’m a guy and my wife has access to everything except my IRA/retirement accounts, which would go to her if I died anyway. I want my wife to be aware of our financial health and have access in case of an emergency. God forbid something happen to me, the last thing I would want would be for her to have to stress out and wait for funding. I don’t understand married couples who split finances. It seems to me a trust issue.

PappaGamer · 2022-12-26T22:12:33+00:00

My wife and I have joint accounts for both checking and saving and then we each have individual saving plans. We believe very much in shared responsibility and have a what’s mine is yours mentality.

It is my job to pay the bills but it is her job to create the budget. We have monthly budget meetings to go over everything. We both get allowances but only if we stick to the budget.

A couple of points that might be relevant: 1) my wife works and is very successful on her own. 2) as a two income household we live very comfortably

yohanya · 2022-12-26T23:18:57+00:00

Yes, I am a SAHM but even if I were working we would combine finances. I think in a marriage built on love and trust, it's just a natural way of doing things. Two individuals become a household unit. Splitting bills, groceries, a mortgage, then having an uneven amount of spending money after that... that's just way more trouble than it's worth for most married couples.

I strongly believe in equal effort in a marriage, and when there is equal effort, a joint bank account falls into place easily. If one person is working their ass off all the time and making sacrifices while the other is relaxing and not pulling their weight, combined finances don't work.

2022-12-26T18:55:38+00:00

I am a SAHW but I still have my own bank account/funds. However I have a credit card that is linked to his account that I make household purchases on.

anothergoodbook · 2022-12-26T18:25:30+00:00

We decided from the start that we have joint accounts. His income is our money; my income is our money.

We did Dave Ramsey’s program initially to get us off on the right foot.

We make big financial decisions together. We have budgets set up for the various expenses in the house. And the we each get “blow money”. Typically because I trust my husband with all these things - I ask him to make the decisions about money. He’s very thoughtful and patient and makes decisions slowly.

undothatbutton · 2022-12-27T04:18:40+00:00

I’m a SAHM and our accounts are shared and have been since we got married. His paycheck is automatically deposited and split between our joint accounts (checking and savings) and our personal accounts (checking). The majority of our money is in our joint accounts; some slush money goes into our individual accounts which we use for personal expenses like haircuts, coffee, or gifts we don’t want the other to see. Otherwise our shared expenses and shared fun money is all in our joint account. We also have shared and separate investment accounts, and my husband is responsible for managing our child’s accounts (savings and investment).

I do not think shared accounts are necessary but I do think full financial transparency is. I would not marry someone who didn’t agree, to be honest, but if I somehow had married someone without realizing this, I definitely wouldn’t put myself at risk by being a SAHW/M without a full understanding of the family finances.

Hello891011 · 2022-12-27T08:42:21+00:00

We have a joint account and our own personal checking and savings accounts. All money earned goes into the joint, then we get our “allowance” at the beginning of the month from our collective pot of money. All else goes to savings and bills

strvgglecity · 2022-12-26T17:18:06+00:00

If part of your goal is to find a man to pay for your life, then he won't trust you with his money.

Lab_Brat_13 · 2022-12-27T00:57:51+00:00

We have completely separate accounts for everything but we spilt all household costs 50/50. This will stay the same once we get married next year and we will also have a pre-nup.

AutoModerator · 2022-12-26T14:38:37+00:00

Title: Joint bank account?

Full text: Do any of you who are married have joint bank accounts with your husband? How did you both come to that decision? Thoughts/feelings on the matter? I think the redpill space has contributed to mens lack of trust of their women with finances and it sucks. Any guys lurking-what are your thoughts on the matter? Would you do it? I think it would make me feel more provided for yet it also seems like a thing of the past where men were truly providers and there was more trust and unity in marriage.

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Hysterical__Paroxysm · 2022-12-27T05:34:44+00:00

100% combined finances is financially ignorant and just plain stupid in terms of common sense. It isn't even about "trust" in your partner. Your money should never be in one pot, let alone sitting with only one financial institution. Never do this. Trust your partner, but not other people/parties.

Joint checking/savings/money market for household and family expenses. Set up joint savings and college funds for the kids. You'll pay your mortgage/rent, car payment(s), groceries, etc. from here. Transfer a proportional amount each pay period. Have a budget for discretionary family spending, such as picking up take-out last minute, going to the movies, taking the kids to an amusement park, etc.

Separate checking/savings/money market for each partner. You can have your partner as your POA for certain circumstances. For instance, in the event of my death or incapacitation, my partner and best friend can access my personal accounts. Bills gotta get paid, kids have to be taken care of, etc. He has my personal passwords and blank signed checks anyway. It's more to protect US from other people. "My" money is spent on my discretionary spending, like makeup I don't really need, Starbucks, etc. I send the amount needed to cover the relevant credit card statement for the month. Savings and sink funds can always be transferred or just spent directly from my/his account.

There have also been times where one account was tied up for a fraud investigation (these scams are sooo common nowadays--we NEVER use a debit card for anything, but shit happens) so we used "my" or "his" money to get by, then just transferred back to balance out.

People get sick, injured, sued, scammed, etc. My accounts are legally my own. We had a legal battle earlier last year, complete and utter crap, but I was legally able to move "my" assets to my partner's accounts to protect us during that time. Come for me and the $2k I have during that time.

During a fraud investigation several years ago, all of my ex's personal accounts were locked. We used my accounts and the family accounts for his daily spending.

Many years ago, my mother banked with HSBC, and yeah...I don't know if anyone else remembers that whole scandal, but people weren't able to transact on their accounts (pay bills, withdraw money, etc.) for days to a week or more. All of her money was in accounts at that one bank.

We use local credit unions and a national bank. National bank is great when traveling but sucks overall. Credit unions are phenomenal.

If something cataclysmic were to happen, both of us have relationships with several local and a couple national banks. We both have access to joint and personal lines of credit. During the pandemic, for example, I exhausted my savings then took on the burden of CC debt. It was better for one person to be financially destroyed than for myself, my ex, my fiancé, and my FIL to try and disperse that whole mess between ourselves. We've since taken care of it, but worse case scenario is only one person having to take a "fall." We all stayed fed, the bills got paid, and the kids were never without. I could declare bankruptcy if necessary and it really wouldn't matter. I made sure during that time we did not have any joint assets that were significant enough to count against us/me or hurt us in anyway. We would still be able to continue on using the other fail safes we have in place.

Our finances are shared, but to protect ourselves from too many scenarios to even list, we technically keep some of it separate. Both of us have emergency POA access and passwords anyway.

We are also that weird couple who didn't want to break up with each other's banks because it's "too annoying and cumbersome," so there are times when I'm too lazy to go to Bank A to move funds to Bank B, and I'll just write my fiancé a personal check for something silly like "adult child support," or "special favors." He hadn't looked at the memos until recently, and they're hilarious.

MartingaleGala · 2022-12-27T06:56:01+00:00

I will not have a joint account with a spouse. My partner and I decided against such. Works for us.

breemakin · 2022-12-27T08:17:40+00:00

Yes. Have had one since we were just boyfriend and girlfriend because we just sort of knew we were gonna get married at 22 and 23 lol.

We both splurge sometimes but we are both responsible with money and bills are always paid first. We have a redraw on our mortgage (extra money can come off once we put it on) which we basically use it as a savings account. We can see literally everything the other person buys.

Environmental_Ad5867 · 2022-12-27T08:38:00+00:00

We’re not married yet but have had a joint account pretty early on our relationship in plans for our future. We both work but contribute proportionally to our income into the joint account (his 55%, mine 45%)- this goes into paying the mortgage, bills, joint savings, eating out, investments, holidays. He also allocates a certain amount to my transport bills to balance things out- as I have long commutes daily.

Individually we have our own separate bank accounts + own personal savings account. We can choose how to spend this as we please.

We also have an understanding that once we have kids, I would be taking a pay cut to go further part time (maternity leave where we are is up to 1 year). He’s ensuring that he can support our growing family purely based on his salary. Whatever I bring in is a bonus.

Though that said, I do think it’s important to have your own nest egg and not rely solely on your husband. I intend to work in some capacity but also have my own property portfolio which provides a nice steady flow of passive income.

Background_Local1685 · 2022-12-28T04:21:55+00:00

No too much issues if split happens . And just no in general money is too hard to get to just complicate like that. Why would anyone trust anyone who doesn’t work to manage their money? If both ppl make a lot of money close enough then it would be ok still I wouldn’t do it I like to keep things simple. Trusting someone with ur money shouldn’t be a discussion in a relationship like ur holding a gun I’m supposed to not be worried that I might get shot. It’s common sense not everything has to be u love me so throw away all logic and feeling. If you want feel more provided for by holding someone else’s money… . If you want feel more provided for then make ur own money then . Takes more trust for separate accounts anyways bc u have to believe that they’d help you and tell what they have . Rather then having access and knowing .

Title	Joint bank account?
Author	dressedindignity
Upvotes	10
Comments	33
Date	December 26, 2022 2:38 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/zvofsf/joint_bank_account/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/joint-bank-account.1213352 https://theredarchive.com/post/1213352

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