I’ve been wondering if women are more prone to mental, emotional, or vocal abuse in relationships a) more often than men, b) more often than physical abuse, c) both, or d) neither, of course.
In literature and film you come across this trope time and time again. Evolutionary perspectives on psychology and mating would also support this thesis, I think: since men are 'stronger' and yet necessary for hetero women, they had to develop a way of levelling the playing field/winning (Relatedly, I wonder if there is a way to measure, prove any of this in an empirical or properly 'scientific' way).
Anecdotally, I’ve seen this happen. Both among friends, family, and myself, women often were more emotionally exploitative or manipulative. (Of course, it's difficult to say when emotional manipulation becomes abuse).
Personally, I had found that when I way younger, women knew I was someone they could try to use, manipulate on some level, whether in a relationship (different forms of gaslighting, criticizing, showing disaffection, making demands of emotional investment, etc) but also at courtship level (trying to bait into a relationship despite clearly set boundaries, guilt trip into dates despite me saying no, etc). It affected me greatly – cortisol and other chemicals released, thoughts spiralling, feeling unease and blame when in fact, someone was trying to manipulate me to serve their needs better. And this is not even accounting for family dynamics, where it's so often, as I've observed, the wife which controls the husband and children, through different ugly mental techniques. When I was growing up, this took a toll on me, too.
I feel like an enormous part of relationships, one that has also been often portrayed in culture, became somehow omitted in modern discussion of power imbalance, what abuse, consent, etc. are. Actually, the only place where I could imagine it being discussed is in critical theory left, in the context of male ego & fallogocentric fears, or whatever the left-Freudian term is. I'm not sure if this has actually been explored much, though.
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