How do I deal with an evil ex?

RideATX · 2023-04-25T18:46:29+00:00

Beg, borrow, or get a CC and hire a lawyer. You can find another job, you need to fight this. It can be dismissed if she has no evidence, but you have to fight it. Seeking DV charges 3 days after being served divorce papers is a red flag in the system, even with the bias of the courts towards women.

Kitchen-Marsupial432 · 2023-04-25T19:33:16+00:00

You need some good news. The majority of DV cases are brought against men with no criminal record, no evidence, he said she said. Thus the majority of DV Cases are dismissed. Any court-appointed attorney with half a pulse would be able to get the charges dropped pre trial, (they deal with this everyday) but you do need to fight it. If you have no criminal record you should be able to sign yourself out /have a small bond after seeing the Judge. Turn yourself in on a weekday so you can see the judge the next morning. Unfortunately it is completely legal for women to do this and if you pay attention you will notice over half of the cases on the docket on any given day are BS DV cases. You are not alone. Welcome to the machine.

Diablo_Canyon2 · 2023-04-25T19:49:04+00:00

Women have every incentive to pull this shit and nothing to lose. So they do. It's a win win scenario for them.

Accomplished-Toe5220 · 2023-04-25T21:02:45+00:00

Airtight provable alibi? Public defender. It's the civil ex parte restraint order that's going to cost you. But you have a felony warranty that means it went before a grand jury and you got indicted. Also 65k for bail? Big dog something isn't adding up here. I could see 10k at most. There's evidence however fabricated it is against you that 13 people said yup he did it. You won't know what's the claim and evidence until your first round of discovery after arrangement. Also you need to stop talking to any and all authorities of the state immediately. Do not agree to any kind of interview.

Ptsdveterannavy · 2023-04-25T22:58:32+00:00

Bro, you need to find an Attorney that will accept you in a Hybrid Retainer (Monthly Payments) you need to move back to Texas, it's been almost 2yrs that you've been denied Visitation. You need to move A.S.A.P.

Sbare26 · 2023-04-25T22:10:06+00:00

Same here, sounds like a normal thing for evil women to do. I had to drop lawyer after spending over $14,000. Fight it make her prove that you did what she said. Good luck brother.

Objective_Problem_90 · 2023-04-25T23:10:34+00:00

Contact a law college in your area and see if there are hungry up and coming defense lawyers who are willing to take on your case for free.

Funny_Wolverine_9 · 2023-04-25T23:40:27+00:00

Ha! My ex-wife accused me of rape after I caught her infidelity and I was charged. This is very typical. Eventually this will pass, I couldn't believe it at first, but it indeed will go away. In terms of advice:

Take care of yourself. Start hitting the gym or running DAILY.
Meditate/Pray daily.
Do NOT focus on your kids right now. You need to focus on YOURSELF. I know this is a hard concept but she will use the kids to agonize you.
Be patient. This is a slow and possibly 1-2 year process. Accept it.

KaiserFlash · 2023-04-25T23:42:18+00:00

OP, HIRE A FUCKING LAWYER! You may have to ruin your financial life for a decade or you can have your whole life ruined. Now is not the time to be cheap. Beg, borrow, go into debt, do whatever you have to do. Hell try and find a lawyer willing to go pro bono if you can.

SII75 · 2023-04-25T23:37:52+00:00

If they arrest you, you are entitled to a court appointed lawyer for free

Ptsdveterannavy · 2023-04-26T01:15:43+00:00

Your most immediate issue is to fight that warrant. They don't issue warrants unless you fail to appear to Court. Did you not show up to Court for that bogus charge before the warrant was issued?

314FinitePi · 2023-04-26T00:20:13+00:00

Then this morning I contacted an attorney. I can't afford to hire him, but he was kind enough to look it up and confirm it. That is why I reached put here. I know other men have dealt with this sort of thing. I am smart enough to know that I don't know anything. Figured someone here might be able to point me in the right direction. I want to believe this will go away because I haven't done anything lime that. Don't get me wrong, I have plenty of blame in the divorce. I am not looking for sympathy. I yelled, I threw some dishes. I even smashed some paintings with a bat or a 5 iron, I don't actually recall. She threw stuff at me, I threw stuff at the wall. I am not proud of it and I am not making excuses. But I never laid a hand on anyone. Facts are facts regardless of my feelings. I will own that. When I found birth control and a collection of hotel keys that she kept as souvenirs, I lost my everything mind. I wanted to smack her, but I decided the paintings were a better choice. We brought put the worst in each other. But that was it. I left and filed for divorce. It was after I filed that I began to find out about a lot of other stuff. I was 4 states and 2 time zones away by then though.

314FinitePi · 2023-04-26T00:47:07+00:00

I know. If they will let me travel back and forth for trial dates I can do this. I have a job offer in Florida. It is an amazing jib that people work their entire careers for. Plenty of money to deal with this after I have been there six months. Problem is, all I have left is a drug test and a background check. Not worried about the drug test. I am however worried this warrent will show up and burn this bridge for good.

314FinitePi · 2023-04-26T02:10:02+00:00

I have not slept in a while. I appreciate the feedback. I have a couple of new ideas, but most of all, it was nice to not feel as isolated and alone. Even if just for a few hours. I am drained.

Good night. Thanks.

314FinitePi · 2023-04-26T06:04:38+00:00

I love how some of you talk about he said, she said. You say it doesn't make sense with no evidence and proof, and then talking out the other side of yiur mouth you decide I must have done something because yiu feel like the bail is too high. lol I know what I did and didn't do. I don't know why a judge set that. I do know that you are now doing the same thing. You throw accusations at me because it makes you feel better about yourself.

One person here said it took 4 months for him to clear it up. Another said three years... by your logic, surely that one must be guilty of something or it wouldn't have taken so long.

Every court is different, every judge is different, every case, city, county, state...

Rather than try to help, you chose to grab a pitchfork and join the lemmings.

Hypocrite much?

314FinitePi · 2023-04-26T06:12:32+00:00

By the way. During the time all of this abuse supposedly happened. I was on crutches for 7 months and bed ridden for 6 weeks... I had blown out my Achilles Tendon. They repaired it, then it blew out a second time 2 months later and the second time they did a transplant. I suspect she left that little tidbit out.

I would have to be one hell of a bad ass to chase them down wearing a boot on crutches.

314FinitePi · 2023-04-26T06:20:02+00:00

I have heard stories about Redit and until an hour ago I thought they were all exaggerated. But as the low IQ crowd begins to make an appearance, I can see where the downward spiral begins.

Thank you to those who were honest and helpful. The rest of you...

314FinitePi · 2023-04-26T15:30:15+00:00

I have something better. That is why I am not worried about that aspect of this. I have many many text messages exchanged between us regarding my concerns about her new lifestyle. There is an entire conversation where I express my discomfort with it. I explain to her that I was not raised this way and seeing bruises and marks on her makes me sick. Her response was, "stop being such a pussy about it, I need this." I am certain I can paint an accurate picture of what was going on for the court. My concern is, I do not want to sit in jail for months waiting for my turn to talk.

314FinitePi · 2023-04-25T23:39:06+00:00

Just for the record, I have more pics and videos of her shenanigans than you can imagine. I don't want to use something like that because it will destroy her business and her ability to work in that city again. She is fairly well known in certain circles. I have tried to tell her how bad this will be for her if all of that gets out. Crickets...

I will if I have to because I am not going to spend 15 years, or whatever the penalty is for whatever line of shit she fed them.

I will voluntarily surrender, but not without some sort of plan in place. If I knew it would be only four months I would go get it over with. But if there is a chance I could do a year or more just waiting. What good is a dismissal if I already sat in jail for 18 months?

Small_Quarter_3673 · 2023-04-25T20:21:26+00:00

Man that sucks. I hope you have some family and friends to help you out

Mynewadventures · 2023-04-25T20:31:30+00:00

Do you move away from Texas and your children?

Ptsdveterannavy · 2023-04-25T21:07:47+00:00

Are you divorced

Alatornio · 2023-04-26T01:22:24+00:00

I feel like you are not giving us all the details here. I am no law expert, but holy crap this looks insane for an allegation. There has to be some meat to this.

Your initial post says "tale about me beating her and the children"

How do you know what was said? Did you at any point hit them, verbally, physically, threats of assault at any point EVER? Does she have something that can be used against you?

You gotta come clean with details.

Watch what you say to any law inforcement. I really question what you have said they said to you. That conversation is probably recorded and would look horribe againsnt police in court.

Im almost 100 percent certain they would have asked you to come in for an interview. You would not legally have to talk to them but they would get you to try.

At that point they would try to get you talking and use your words against you to charge you. They would ask if you have ever disciplined your children. They will ask how. They will ask you to demonstrate. This will all be used against you.

Be careful.

YOU NEED A LAWYER

Seangar · 2023-04-26T02:57:25+00:00

Something is def not adding up. $65k bond and a felony charge for he said she said stuff. Cops and especially a prosecutors office careless unless there is provable evidence, esp in domestic issues.

Do you know how old the story of...husband/wife files for divorce, wife makes up abuse issues and gets a restraining order....is?

So either she has actual real evidence or abuse, or this just doesn't make sense.

CleburnCO · 2023-04-26T14:50:40+00:00

Find the money to pay for a lawyer...or you will sit in jail forever. Seriously.

Title	How do I deal with an evil ex?
Author	314FinitePi
Upvotes	24
Comments	87
Date	April 25, 2023 5:55 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/12yqrjf/how_do_i_deal_with_an_evil_ex/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/how-do-i-deal-with-an-evil-ex.1216812 https://theredarchive.com/post/1216812

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