Many men bounce back fine after a period of mourning, some weeks, months, maybe a year or two. A few years down the road they may find a new partner, or just be enjoying the benefits of freedom in being single, but generally speaking, they’ve found some good sources of happiness to facilitate a sense of overall well being. To you men, I say good for you! Keep going.

Then, there are those of us who Divorce continues to impact in a negative way. Perhaps it involved the kids, finances, maladapting to the notion of being alone with unhealthy “pick me ups,” battling with circumstantial depression, other mental illnesses, loss of confidence or desire to get into another relationship even when to door is hanging wide open for one. It seems life has turned on us and we’re never going to right the ship. We lose the desire to keep trying to rebuild, because we get so far only to have our dreams and expectations for life go unmet despite our efforts, and, quite frankly, there seems like nothing else to live for. We’re broken and cannot put ourselves back together, and for some of us, we no longer care to try. We die while yet living.

I’m the second one. 8 years after divorce, I’ve been alienated from my son, make shit money(pay support), have given up on dating completely, and traded an addiction to alcohol for three years after the event for an addiction to Meth(35 when I tried it the first time). Well, at least I don’t drink anymore. So, I was thinking about all those quips tersely ensuring us, “it gets better, you’ll see.” No. Not always. I see no signs of it getting better. I used to feel optimistic, but I’m afraid that ship has sailed. Perhaps there is time to change yet. Maybe things can improve, but with each passing day I’m getting more disillusioned with life. I can’t seem to get a win and I’m losing the fight to even keep trying.

Oh well. AI is probably going to wipe us all out in the next decade anyways. (My passive aggressive cry for help). Cheers!