has the pain of male infidelity always been this way?

hadyayasmin · 2023-06-08T10:55:11+00:00

Because it's wrong. It's a breaking of trust. It's a man who's so weak he can't overcome his impulses. This whole, "biologically wired" thing puts us on the same level as other animals. You really want to accept that we have no more impulse control than a mildly intelligent monkey? Are we really no more capable than a chipmunk of having a value system? No. It's bs. Humans are also biologically wired for extreme violence, but MOST of us resist the impulse to punch our coworker who chews too loudly. If a man tells you he's biologically wired to cheat, he's telling you he's no better than a trained monkey.

RatchedAngle · 2023-06-08T01:15:37+00:00

Redpill men insist on applying “facts and logic” to human behavior while simultaneously ignoring the irrationality and emotionality of human behavior.

Infidelity hurts because it makes us feel inadequate and insecure. It makes us feel like we can’t trust our partners and it undermines our sense of safety in the relationship.

Redpilled men assume women only want financial commitment (and are therefore accepting of male polygamy as long as financial commitment remains secure), but this is because redpilled men tend to exclusively pursue women who are only interested in financial commitment. So they assume “all women are like that.”

Ironically, these women who get with “high value men” are oftentimes cheating on those high value men (because they can). The women you see on Fresh and Fit? The women who go to Dubai? The women hanging around wealthy men? Most of them are not faithful. I promise Melania Trump has multiple side pieces.

These men operate in shallow social circles and they apply the logic of their small, narrow world to the entire population. I can’t think of anything more illogical than that.

Yes, men are “biologically wired” to sleep with multiple women. The same way I’m biologically wired to pursue the most attractive and wealthy man I can get - yet, I’m fiercely loyal to my husband who is still building his career and working to lose weight.

True traditionalists believe in reigning in their basic primal instincts to form a functional, stable family unit.

Modern redpillers seem to advocate pursuing every hedonistic pleasure you have (but only if you’re a man).

jenna_grows · 2023-06-08T10:07:34+00:00

Biology = survival of the species and procreation.

Men can impregnate multiple women at once and boom, more humans. Women can only have one baby at a time and that baby needs to be cared for. So the thought process is different.

That said, we override biology all the time. That’s how we, as a physically fragile species, became apex predators.

PS the equivalent of a man who cheats is a woman who’s a gold digger and will leave if someone richer and willing comes along. That’s also biology.

Biologically driven men and women deserve each other. But there are plenty of people who’ve evolved past that and that’s why important to remember - not everyone is the right person for you. Vet long, vet hard, and find your man.

ivysaurah · 2023-06-08T18:12:19+00:00

No, the men who are spouting off these lies are ruining the RP community and its image.

The reality is, a man who cheats is a man who lacks discipline. Any man who lacks discipline is emasculating himself in my eyes, as a traditional woman. Traditional women seek strong, disciplined men who are able to lead soundly and provide an example to their children through their actions. Being unable to stay faithful to a chosen wife and potential mother of your offspring makes you a weak, lesser man. It shows you’re a slave to primal instincts and are willing to allow poison into your family unit because of it. That’s why the men got so triggered when that one traditional woman got on the Okay Podcast and called out the f boy for his immature thinking. The boy in question couldn’t fault her argument and resorted to calling her annoying and broke his arrogant persona, despite her being very calm and graceful.

Having an open relationship (which I believe just does not work for the family unit and will breed issues fundamentally) is different from entering a monogamous relationship and then cheating.

SunshineSundress · 2023-06-08T01:13:32+00:00

if men are “biologically wired” to be able to be with multiple partners (as so told by many members of the RP community) then why does getting cheated on hurt so badly?

Because we are women, and we are biologically wired towards hypergamy, aka the desire to be with the best man in the room, or more reasonably, the best man we can achieve. The final conclusion is that hypergamy results in monogamy. We are also wired for commitment, stability, provisions, and protection from men, because we have to spend 9 months pregnant and bear children, and feel stronger duties towards tending to those children than men. It hurts when men cheat because all those provisions and protection are at risk if he is interested in another woman who also wants his commitment, stability, provisions, and protection. It means we will either have to share those resources, or risk losing them completely.

Remember, men’s sexual goals and women’s sexual goals are sometimes at odds. This is why men gatekeep relationships and women gatekeep sex, and it is somewhat of a adversarial dance. But there is some overlap, which I go into detail about my post about The Male Dual Sex Drive. Your goal is to find a man who shares this overlap, prioritizes commitment and long-term relationships more than he prioritizes spinning plates and chasing strange, and let the ones who don’t swim past.

nemma88 · 2023-06-08T12:05:05+00:00

As evidenced by jealousy and mate guarding regardless of gender fidelity is important to all of us. There are several evolutionary theories as to why this is, but it is.

And again, regardless of sexual strategy options fidelity and monogamy is advantageous to both.

MasterpieceFrosty938 · 2023-06-08T05:06:00+00:00

It hurts because its a betrayal of the perceived agreement of exclusivity. Of course, in a relationship people are free to leave anytime they wish, for any reason. So them cheating is felt in a way as a rejection of you, although it is not necessarily so. Men cheat because they can, just as most women would leave their boyfriend for someone better. The game is the game sadly

AutoModerator · 2023-06-08T01:00:33+00:00

Title: has the pain of male infidelity always been this way?

Full text: ive seen many younger women and teenage girls heartbroken due to infidelity on tiktok and twitter. with being in this age group (19F) many of my close friends and acquaintances, or even strangers have reposted or spoken on the pain felt due to male infidelity.

if men are “biologically wired” to be able to be with multiple partners (as so told by many members of the RP community) then why does getting cheated on hurt so badly? am i insecure for being so upset when i got cheated on?

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FastLifePineapple · 2023-06-08T04:18:58+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Ok-Marionberry-8167 · 2023-06-09T02:38:43+00:00

Do you think the man that did it genuinely loves you? It can be harder for younger men to control their sexual urges. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you though. I dealt with a similar situation with my husband. Men seem to be able to differentiate between love and sex. He has cleaned up his act as we’ve gotten older

Erislocker · 2024-10-17T13:27:27+00:00

i think it's rather simple:
it's the knowledge of it being absolute. as in, you can't change it. that's why death is so painful. you know that no matter what you do, you can't "unfuck" someone.

Or why heartbreak is so painful. you can't force someone to love you. it's that absolutism that crushes us. if it was temporary or negotiable, we'd have a much easier time with it.

Frameworkeee · 2023-06-08T18:04:32+00:00

Most men do not cheat because that they don't have the option to. And if it makes you feel any better, men having sex is meaningless. Men don't even need to like the woman they sleep with. In fact, they can be repulsed by her and just use her as a masturbation tool.

ReasonablyGoodMexica · 2023-06-08T17:08:44+00:00

Contrary to popular belief, in nature suffering is not "wrong", it's just undesirable. It's simply the other side of the same coin as pleasure.

Evolution doesn't care of what's "good" for us is also painful.

Consider other examples of pain and suffering: childbearing, raising children, physical training, injury pain, opposite sex rejection, fear of inadequacy. All of them are perfectly natural and biological processes that produce suffering in various degrees, but all of them have a purpose: childbearing creates the new generation, injury pain prevents you from injuring yourself more and let's you heal, rejection and inadequacy are incentives for improvement.

And just like the examples before, sexual jealousy is a biological adaptation. The men and women who did not have jealousy simply went extinct.

How can you use this knowledge to your advantage? One thing you can do is use the pain as a thermometer for how much you love your man. Is he working hard enough to tolerate this? Is he really so hard to replace that I want to repeat this experience with this one man?

Finally, consider what I said at the beginning. Pain and pleasure are two sides of the same coin. Pain is an inevitability of life. Being free doesn't actually mean being free to do whatever you want, but being free to choose your suffering. Suffer training and diet or suffer being fat; suffer work or suffer poverty; suffer sexual infidelity from Chad or suffer boredom from Dr Phil.

Title	has the pain of male infidelity always been this way?
Author	hadyayasmin
Upvotes	32
Comments	43
Date	June 8, 2023 1:00 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/143ura2/has_the_pain_of_male_infidelity_always_been_this/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/has-the-pain-of-male-infidelity-always-been-this.1221601 https://theredarchive.com/post/1221601

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