Am I being sensitive?

ArkNemesis00 · 2023-03-24T22:12:43+00:00

I personally don't mind a little bit of schoolyard-type teasing as long as both parties are having a good time. I usually enjoy being riled up.

If I'm not feeling up to it, I put on my best sad face and say "that joke makes me feel sad, I don't like it."

If you never want to be teased or don't enjoy his sense of humor, that's something you need to communicate. If he's just catching you on a bad day or it's one type of joke you don't like, you gotta come up with a non-aggressive way to defuse the situation. Don't swallow it down.

It's not really a matter of you being overly sensitive or not. I find phrasing things like this makes it more of a who's in the right/who's in the wrong type of situation. Jokes aren't wrong. Not finding jokes funny isn't wrong. Just focus on crafting a relationship that makes you happy. If he's unwilling to help you in that goal, unwilling to make any concessions, that's a concern.

sunlitroof · 2023-03-24T22:21:23+00:00

Doesn't sound like youre being sensitive.

CountTheBees · 2023-03-24T21:17:24+00:00

No, you're not being too sensitive, his action are hurtful. Show him that his words hurt you, don't hide it.

ok-meowmix · 2023-03-24T21:23:08+00:00

He sounds immature and annoying. How much do you like him ?

Appropriate_Bowl2387 · 2023-03-25T01:14:28+00:00

I’ve noticed when I seek validation from others I already know the answer I just want other people to tell me that its okay to feel how I do.

Loving someone and respecting someone arent always exclusive. He might love you, but because he doesn’t respect you enough to change harmful behavior.. it might not work.

I promise you that you can find someone who gives you what you want. You already gave him an ultimatum, if you don’t see change then he gave you an answer.

OkraGarden · 2023-03-24T22:38:59+00:00

No, you're not being too sensitive. He's showing a lot of immaturity and it's going to be a problem in your relationship. Middle school boys make constant sex jokes. Grown men show self-control and good judgement and realize intentionally provocative sex jokes shouldn't be their go-to choice of humor. They also don't anger their girlfriends and wives on purpose. I know a woman who ended up divorcing her husband over stuff like this, because she grew up and he did not. You don't want to be in your mid-20s stuck with a man-child who constantly jokes about porn and sex, makes you mad for fun, and doesn't have much else going on in his head. At some point guys like that are no longer "awesome" to be around, they are annoying.

delavogue · 2023-03-24T21:24:07+00:00

Info: Are you already sleeping together?

I'm reading your post and I'm like yep, yep, sounds like my bf, right up until the point where you said he does this on purpose to rile you up. My bf is just a lil slow on the uptake and told me rap lyrics make him feel powerful -- it was never malicious.

What worked for my bf -- every time he made a comment that was degrading, I turned it around to be degrading to men, ie lyrics about fucking bitches --> I parodied it to be about taking men's credit cards to go shopping. At some point I sat him down and told him, firmly, that those lyrics were not appropriate to repeat around me because they were offensive. I posed the question, "how would you feel if I constantly repeated lyrics about going on dates with other men and making them buy me luxury bags?". Because my bf respects my opinion and heard me out on why I found the lyrics to be offensive, he stopped repeating those lyrics around me.

Sometimes I still need to gently remind him because he forgets, but it happens a lot less often now and he immediately apologizes.

Your boyfriend sounds like he does not respect you. You may be able to get him to stop making those comments if you're already sleeping together and he is willing to "behave" in order to get consistent pussy, but the fact that he is brazenly making these comments to make you feel bad shows that he thinks of the relationship as "me + it" rather than "me and her" or a "we".

Edit: another reaction that I liked to use -- "hey what if I wanted to sleep with that woman" "ok, go ahead. You can sleep with whoever you want, but you won't have a girlfriend by the end of the night." (Of course this is normal playful banter between us, it's all in good faith and I have full confidence that my bf would never cheat on me, it's just smth he says when he sees a pretty woman.)

BigG1996 · 2023-03-25T09:47:51+00:00

Being a submissive women does not mean you don’t have boundaries and tolerate shit like this from someone. Communicate and assert how you feel about it and if continues then he doesn’t respect you and you should leave him.

VasiliyZaitzev · 2023-03-25T17:21:40+00:00

Well, yes and no. If this is as bad as it gets, I guarantee you he thinks he's being funny. That said, you are sensitive to it and a steady diet of that type of humor will wear on you.

Your move would be to say, "Oh, honey, you just need to look at me, naked, ONCE."

said it’s to “get you riled up” and make me jealous.

"You mean to get me riled up and make me leave you? I don't like being riled up, I like being calm and happy."

Twisting_Me · 2023-03-24T20:38:58+00:00

When he gets stupid, you get expensive

hadyayasmin · 2023-03-25T00:49:44+00:00

I mean, to me, it sounds like he just likes getting the rise out of you. He's 22, he's immature, it's normal dude behavior. It's kinda like little boys pulling girls' hair. If it were me, I would literally just ignore it and deny the satisfaction of reacting whatsoever. That generally stops teasing behaviors because it takes the fun out of it.

princess_mothra · 2023-03-24T21:24:41+00:00

Your boyfriend sounds like a loser. Also there is a lot of truth to jokes, especially when they have odd common themes.

You’re 19, you’re beautiful… I won’t tell you what to do but you know what you can do ;)

TheBunk_TB · 2023-03-25T09:31:40+00:00

I think he likes having fun with you

Do you ever tell him about it?

AutoModerator · 2023-03-24T20:31:29+00:00

Title: Am I being sensitive?

Full text: My (19F) boyfriend (22M) is awesome to be around, but his jokes now push boundaries and I dont know if i’m being sensitive. His humor is very crude and I cant take it anymore. For example, his eye was swollen shut only a few days ago due to allergies and told me “the doctor told me that looking at 20 naked women from this eye would solve it” or would replay polygamous or cheating lyrics over and over again. It’s annoying and a turn off. He actually just called and made another joke and said it’s to “get you riled up” and make me jealous. Am I being too sensitive?

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hipopper · 2023-03-25T11:34:48+00:00

Not cool. I told something similar to a someone close: wanna know the worst part about being annoying on purpose? It usually works. Now I’m annoyed.

Shane_The_Stoic · 2023-03-25T14:15:35+00:00

Part of this is being young and stupid. Depends on whether you think he'll grow out of it.

Snoo_64362 · 2023-03-26T13:24:36+00:00

Time for you to break up with this douchebag. It's obvious that he doesn't care about your feelings and boundaries. You're not being sensitive. Being upset about his antics is normal and any normal human being will be upset if their SO does this shit

Emergency-Fox1117 · 2023-03-26T23:20:53+00:00

I had similar experience with a guy I was talking. We didn't move through talking stage because of his jokes (even though I kliked him a lot). I just felt really akward and uncomfortable after these jokes, he joked about other women too (like your boyfriend, to make me jelaous) - it made me think that he doesn't have feelings to me if he jokes like that in front of me, and nothing could have really changed my opinion back then.

AutoModerator · 2023-04-03T01:45:49+00:00

Title: Am I being sensitive?

Full text: My (19F) boyfriend (22M) is awesome to be around, but his jokes now push boundaries and I dont know if i’m being sensitive. His humor is very crude and I cant take it anymore. For example, his eye was swollen shut only a few days ago due to allergies and told me “the doctor told me that looking at 20 naked women from this eye would solve it” or would replay polygamous or cheating lyrics over and over again. It’s annoying and a turn off. He actually just called and made another joke and said it’s to “get you riled up” and make me jealous. Am I being too sensitive? Edit: With school ive been a bit busy with replying to comments on here, but I have read them all. Thank you to everyone for your kind words and affirmations, I appreciate the feedback and love i’ve been getting🥺❤️

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Gluckgluck30000 · 2023-04-03T18:11:07+00:00

You’re not sensitive, he is immature and stupid. If you express sadness, intense sadness at that and he can’t even cool it with the jokes - he doesn’t care about you.

Next time he jokes about naked women “joke” about the guy who’s gonna simp for you, take you shopping and treat you like a princess. “Joke” about how the clothes you got were paid for by some other guy. “Joke” about how you have a lunch date with a friend. “Joke” about all the things he would feel absolutely SICKKK to his stomach about.

Sis it’s very simple, no more crying over some smart-ass - he would be very lonely if it weren’t for you sticking around - go head and find someone who doesn’t play with your emotions and standards like this . Much love

Heresoiwontgetfinedd · 2023-06-08T04:09:57+00:00

Immaturity

Title	Am I being sensitive?
Author	hadyayasmin
Upvotes	18
Comments	58
Date	March 24, 2023 8:31 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/120xh6t/am_i_being_sensitive/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/am-i-being-sensitive.1188012 https://theredarchive.com/post/1188012

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