Courtroom Appearance Advice

3x15 · 2023-07-30T21:34:19+00:00

Just generally, it's ALWAYS better to be overdressed than underdressed. I'd shave and get dress shoes for the suit.

Good luck!

cdjohnny · 2023-07-30T23:46:09+00:00

If you're staying with the beard make sure it is nicely trimmed...not like a mountain man. Dress nice..wouldn't worry about the shoes too much.

wisstinks4 · 2023-07-31T01:34:40+00:00

I suggest clean shaven look for judge and court appearance. Go get some nice matching shoes. Wear them once, take them back.

Go Looking good, feeling good, showing up good. Go be good to yourself. Win the day!!!

I hope it goes well for you. Be safe.

Nobody-941 · 2023-07-31T02:06:36+00:00

This appearance is going to make a huge impact on the rest of your life. Come well dressed and groomed. Please by all means, if you have piercings, dump them...and not just for the court...for good. Shut the fuck up as much as you can and when you do have to talk, make the words count. This is not Maury either...whatever you say, make it relevant and make it count. I have been there and will be there again with you soon. Good luck.

Gattsama · 2023-07-31T05:59:05+00:00

You can _NEVER_ ere on the side of conservatism. A well trimmed beard can so wisdom, a hippy on the other hand looks like a bum :) The court cares about respect, and it shows respect that you come on time, speak calmly / clearly, and dress properly.

Diablo_Canyon2 · 2023-07-30T23:42:59+00:00

I've been wearing a coat and tie to court. I have a beard and long hair. I've been wondering if I should get a haircut and shave. But over the past seven months I've seen chuds show up to court in flip flops, baseball caps, and sweatshirts so I think I'm ok.

Noodletrousers · 2023-07-31T01:08:52+00:00

You can find a nice pair of shoes at a Goodwill or Salvation Army. Dude, these are your kids your talking about. Anything (I really mean anything) you can think of to give yourself a leg up with appearance, courtesy, calm, demeanor will go farther than the most expensive attorney and your nonchalance. Show how important this is through your appearance and demeanor.

No_Record_3853 · 2023-07-31T04:37:14+00:00

As others have said, wear the suit and scrounge some basic dress shoes.

Neatly trimmed beard would be ok, but given you are facing false allegations (I’m going to assume DV or child abuse) you need to look as mild mannered and unassuming as possible. It’s not the time to grow out a bro-vet/mountain man beard which are clearly meant to give off masculine vibes.

Maybe the judge wouldn’t care. Or maybe the judge sees a parade of deadbeat fathers and abusers and mentally sizes you up the moment he sees you. If there’s a 1 in 100 chance your appearance would have an impact, you should make every effort to make it a positive impact.

upvotersfortruth · 2023-07-31T11:22:47+00:00

I'd send her a written request for your shoes. Then show up in terrible shoes and let the judge know why. As for the rest, appearances never hurt. Beard is fine but should be kept. If you're coming from work and need to go back to work after the hearing, wear your work clothes and let the judge know why (i.e. that you had to take time off of work to go to the hearing).

Court dates are important not just for the legal matters at issue, but also for you to present yourself before the judge and humanize yourself. It's also a good chance to point out unreasonable and bitchy behaviors of your spoiled brat STBX.

EDIT: nothing wrong with dressing nice and clean cut as the default, but there are other plays you can make in terms of appearance.

silmarp · 2023-07-31T14:30:34+00:00

Look. The judges are people who think themselves as above society and above God himself. They think of themselves as the ultragods or something. They are above any reproach or whatever societal norms exist and they are above whatever you might think. They are bigger than the galaxy and they are richer than Elon Musk but if they aren't they are more important. They are the culmination of human history by their measure and they are the most important person to ever exist in history. Every single judge thinks this way.

The lesser judge thinks of him/herself as a demigod.

So dressing yourself as good as you can so these fuckers don't screw you is a given. Shaven is better because many judges are shaven and they won't look good at unshaven men and take it as a provocation even because it's not on their ridiculous dressing code. Your best clothes and shaven but nice outfit and politeness so they think the best of you is the best way I think. They will see you dressing nice as respect to the court. But they might think a beard as a defiance so it's a no.

jimsmythee · 2023-07-31T19:59:20+00:00

There are certain things a court or a judge will care about, or not care about.

Clean shaven or beard? Courts won't care.

Clothing? Generally, don't go for jeans. Get a pair of dress shoes, or wear your boots with dress pants and a long sleeve dress shirt. Tie optional.

Title	Courtroom Appearance Advice
Author	Any-Dare-7261
Upvotes	4
Comments	23
Date	July 30, 2023 9:26 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/15dx01q/courtroom_appearance_advice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/courtroom-appearance-advice.1226860 https://theredarchive.com/post/1226860

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