Autism makes no difference in the current sex and dating landscape

wtknight · 2023-08-01T12:10:28+00:00

Flaired CMV as this post is making an affirmative claim

ExperienceDue7924 · 2023-08-01T06:51:11+00:00

I think social media explains the dating imbalance much clearer. Used to be people met face to face. Women had to choose from the maybe 2 or 3 dozen guys who would hang around whatever establishments they frequented. Online dating was something only weirdos did until about 10 years ago and people only saw the lives of those closest to them. Now women can select from every eligible dude in the entire country and sometimes other countries. People care more about how nice their family photos will look for Instagram than they care about how healthy their relationships are. People are constantly comparing their partners, constantly told they can do better, and constantly having “better” relationships shoved in front of their faces. Combine this with the fact that men will fuck a potato will a whole cut in it and you have a dating landscape where all the women are trying to bag the best man they can and using sex to lure them in and the most attractive men are just taking advantage. It’s turned love into a resource competition and everyone paranoid about whether they’re being used or have a genuine connection. Basically it’s made a large chunk of the population absolutely batshit crazy and deciphering which portion is actually trying to date and not just fuck around is near impassible for those without excellent social skills and difficult still for those who have them.

Quick-Sand-5692 · 2023-08-01T07:58:48+00:00

I don't have autism but I do have social anxiety.

In my case it's completely killed my social life and my chances with women.

I've seen plenty of women interested in me in the past but once the start talking to me they realize I can't even maintain a conversation and it doesn't matter how much I try, I'm so fucked up in the head I feel I have a bear in front of me trying to kill me.

The sad part is that there's nothing wrong with me look wise, I'm tall at 6'4", I'd say I'm handsome etc but the thing is I'm fucked up in the head.

I've spent like 15 years of my life with this condition and only recently I found out what I have. I didn't know what I have and I thought I was just so fucking weird and at some point I thought I might even be crazy because I've understood my fear and anxiety of talking to other people doesn't make any sense.

At least now I know what I have so I can fix this condition...

KayRay1994 · 2023-08-01T06:44:30+00:00

Being actually autistic myself, to an extent I agree with your claim, but there is also loads of nuance missing

is the role of autism as a leading cause for dating failures overplayed? 100% - but it still can be a disadvantage if not directed/handled properly. That in itself takes a lot of work, but it does end up being worth it.
as for your use of stats, there is a lot it doesn’t factor in; mainly that many people end up not being diagnosed as kids, and the autism is only discovered when one is an adult. Autism is at a spectrum and generally the 2.8% represents not only the most obvious of cases that can be captured at childhood, but also as the numbers all seem to state, this is an estimate of children who were diagnosed having already grown up, and to add to this, 2.8% is still a big number at 10mil, and again, this is not counting the many more cases that are either diagnosed later in life (which aren’t counted in the cdc stat) as well as those who are suspected to have it and haven’t been diagnosed (and mind you, the act of even getting diagnosed, especially as an adult can be financially costly) - so the numbers aren’t as clear cut as the CDC numbers suggest.

No-Tea-9993 · 2023-08-01T08:16:39+00:00

I think that any form of social impairment, whether it's caused by autism, shitty / abusive parenting, or even 'impairment' caused by moving from one culture to another or from a rural area to rich urban area, is unattractive.

However, high functioning autists which is who I believe are the category of people most 'helped' by TRP, are often people with offsetting attributes depending on what they get autistic for - careers with high incomes or intense musical skill if they got autistic for that. I have a theory that at least a few of the best NHL ice hockey players in the world right now are autistic kids that got autistic for spinning pucks instead of trains.

happy_discus · 2023-08-01T09:38:56+00:00

I am formally diagnosed with autism and can attest you it's impossible for autism to be a significant part of this current dating landscape. Even though autism is severely underdiagnosed, especially in women and high functioning men. Still even if we said autistic people make up 5% of the population it still would be insignificant.

awdadwqdawdaw · 2023-08-01T15:43:41+00:00

What is the point of getting diagnosed officially with autism as an adult? There is no treatment for it. Are people supposed to do it just to impress you OP?

splunx · 2023-08-01T06:34:44+00:00

[permanently deleted]

tamagotchi_lego · 2023-08-01T13:51:15+00:00

I’m an autistic woman who has been officially diagnosed. I have a good job and am conventionally attractive for context, I’ve had randoms come up to me in public saying I look like Selena Gomez. Dating is like being rejected by my own species. I can get dates and sex, I mirror the other person’s behaviour (don’t act more keen than them etc) but would end up getting ghosted. I think NT men in the top ~20% can pick up I’m different. The most luck I’ve had is with other men who I’ve suspected were also autistic (weird engineers). I haven’t told any guy I’ve been with that I’m autistic.

obviousredflag · 2023-08-01T17:05:53+00:00

What do you mean by "making no difference" and "explaining the dating imbalance"? Autistic men are underperforming in the dating and relationship arena compared to non-autistic men. i haven't seen any data but i guess that among inc3ls the rate of autists is 10 times higher than in the total population. Autists are unattractive for most women. So if their rate in the population increases, the total amount of people with dating problems increases too.

Does it make a difference regarding that most sex goes to the most desirable men and the rest barely has any casual sex? No obviously not, as way more than the 2.8% of men suffer from very low amounts of casual sex.

Why don't you believe there are many men, proportionally, in this forum who are autists? Autists are having the dating issues and the issues understanding social cues. They need to have a guide for women, a guide to dating, simple truths and rules to follow to get to their desired outcome. This forums draws both men with dating problems and especially autists. Considering that more than 70% of men don't have dating issues and all of the autists have dating issues, the rate of autists in here has to be at least 3-4 times as high as normal.

harmonica2 · 2023-08-01T07:19:56+00:00

I can't speak for others here but I was officially diagnosed with autism.

MyUpSeemsDown · 2023-08-01T10:26:20+00:00

Autism seems to be weirdly trending now days, one of my ex who was clearly not autistic, socially robust and well adjusted with average intelligence, started claiming that she might be one after being balls deep into Tiktok for few months. For her and some others I believe it's to appeal to some quirky cutesie shit just like how people used to try to pass anxiety and depression as one. In other cases generally on internet it seems to be thrown around for things like calling names or for people to describe their lack of ability to socialize as something more.

100PercentNattyBrah · 2023-08-01T09:50:09+00:00

I disagree to an extent, it'll be a disadvantage, because you do need some sort of social skills to navigate the dating market, however it's something that can be learnt if they're willing to put in the time.

The morons who'll say "You can't learn social skills or confidence, you either have it or you don't" don't know what the hell they're talking about. It's a skill, you can learn to do everything.

justforlulz12345 · 2023-08-01T15:26:21+00:00

Well on here they over represented. Only autists would create a fucking excel spreadsheet to explain why they get no play.

Veloci-Tractor · 2023-08-01T16:41:34+00:00

yes the men on this sub are blaming autism for their own undeveloped personality

i am autistic and have no trouble dating. i simply had to work on and develop a personality, which i actually thibk autism helps me with, because i approach it pragmatically

AutoModerator · 2023-08-01T06:16:22+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

Sillysheila · 2023-08-01T22:57:02+00:00

Honestly I disagree. I have autism. I’m a woman, but autism would definitely make a difference I feel. I’m not sure how many people are undiagnosed. I’m sure it’s not the majority of the population, but being undiagnosed until a late age is somewhat common because back when I was diagnosed (1996) the diagnosis criteria was really stereotypical “oh you like trains and math? are you rain man?” bullshit and it was very rigid.

It was really hard on me as well to be believed as someone with autism and I was often arguing with people from a young age, despite the fact I always score really high on autism tests and stuff. I mean obviously. I wouldn’t be diagnosed without it. But because I’m not a boy obsessed with trains that wants to be an engineer, I’m not autistic to some people still. Non-autistic people ironically are very autistic about who is autistic.

I was extremely lucky, I got a partner but honestly I have been involved in a lot of social groups and activities for people with autism over the years. Most, female or male, were not dating. Most asked me how I even got a date in the first place because it blew their mind that much I was dating. I think autistic men in particular could have a lot of trouble finding a date. And no, this is not because like the subreddit loves to say, these men are not millionaires with money spilling out of their pockets.

It’s because men on dates are often expected to be gregarious, charming, funny and honestly some non-autistic women have really high thresholds for creepy behaviour now. They think if you look away when you’re talking you’re a serial killer or something. If you combine that with the fact that many autistic men aren’t charming, they aren’t gregarious, and some don’t even understand humour, then autistic men for sure are going to struggle at dating.

WilliamWyattD · 2023-08-03T02:20:39+00:00

Psychology is far from a perfect taxonomy of the human mind or personality. It's possible for only 2.8% to be past some threshold for official diagnosis, but also for a much bigger percentage of men to show more autistic-like traits than in the past while not being full blown autistic.

Title	Autism makes no difference in the current sex and dating landscape
Author	splunx
Upvotes	20
Comments	91
Date	August 1, 2023 6:16 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/15f42ib/autism_makes_no_difference_in_the_current_sex_and/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/autism-makes-no-difference-in-the-current-sex-and.1227104 https://theredarchive.com/post/1227104

Comments