Is there really an orgasm gap given some women are multi orgasmic?

lle-ell · 2023-08-30T05:01:53+00:00

The metric used isn’t ”number of orgasms by gender”, it’s usually ”share of sexual encounters resulting in (at least one) orgasm by gender”. Which is reasonable, the big difference in quality of the sex isn’t between orgasm 14 and 15, it’s between 0 and 1.

DreaminInChocolate · 2023-08-30T05:25:43+00:00

Does poverty really exist when there are millionaires? Nice logic.

MarBitt · 2023-08-30T06:05:15+00:00

Heterosexual men were most likely to say they usually-always orgasmed when sexually intimate (95%), followed by gay men (89%), bisexual men (88%), lesbian women (86%), bisexual women (66%), and heterosexual women (65%).

And:

Most women have the capacity to have multiple orgasms, but past research suggests only about 15% actually do.

So, especially if you take into account that the number of men able to achieve multiple orgasms during one intercourse is higher than 0, women will not have enough multi-orgasmic experiences to balance the orgasm gap between straight men and straight women.

Sillysheila · 2023-08-30T05:08:50+00:00

No, it doesn’t work that way. It’s counted by how often heterosexual women orgasm in their own relationship during sex. It’s not counted by some other woman having five.

As someone that is very much in the multi side of things, that’s far from the norm among all women. Many women only have one, some struggle to have any.

The point of the orgasm gap is to illustrate that straight men orgasm more regularly in relationships than straight women. Lesbian women orgasm tons more than straight women, and it’s mainly because they don’t view penetration as the be all and end all. They also don’t have a perception that PIV is the best or only way to cause orgasm in a woman, but many men still believe this.

Away_Entrance1185 · 2023-08-30T09:51:22+00:00

Orgasms are biological and emotional, most women (80%) can have multiple orgasms, some women (10%) can only have 1 per session, and some women (10%) are physically incapable of having them. I've had a few relationships with women who cannot have more than 1, no matter how I or they try, it is simply physically impossible, meanwhile my first girlfriend typically had 20~40 orgasms per session and her highest amount reported was around 80. My guess is that this is a Bell curve and that those women are all ok extreme ends with most women having 3~10 orgasms at most.

That aside, other factors play into the intensity of the orgasm. That woman I mentioned who typically had 20~40 orgasms? She would have 0 if she wasn't in the mood and emotionally satisfied. That woman who could only have 1? It's still only 1 orgasm even if she's super in the mood and very emotionally receptive, it was a biological hard limit for her.

Some men last 30 seconds in bed others last 30 minutes, most men (80%} last 3~14 minutes in bed with extremes existing on both ends. In many cases this is a hard biological limit that no amount of intercourse can change, a man with delayed ejac cannot do it in 10 minutes no matter how hard he tries, no amount of experience will let a man who cannot last longer than 2 minutes last longer than 2 minutes.

The same applies to women, some women have an orgasm in 5 minutes of intercourse, others require 15 as a minimum.

januaryphilosopher · 2023-08-30T08:52:25+00:00

It's rare to be multi orgasmic and those who are are only capable of it, it doesn't even mean they usually orgasm at all. And it's little consolation to a woman who rarely to never orgasms during sex that another woman is having extra ones on her behalf. (Generally, people just consider sex a good use of time if one orgasm is had anyway, there are diminishing returns even in quality if you have multiple or so I've heard.) There's no "hoarding", pretty much every woman can orgasm but not all men are willing to partake in activities that will make that happen.

TelevisionGloomy5458 · 2023-08-30T12:50:59+00:00

I was married for 20 years. I can assure you there is a very real orgasm gap and so can all of my girlfriends attest to this and most men on this subreddit, if they are being honest, know they are not hitting a home run every time they are up to bat. Stop the cap OP

JakeArcher39 · 2023-08-30T11:54:52+00:00

The issue with the whole 'orgasm gap' debate and associated studies, is that it takes something that's quite nuanced and very individual-dependent, and tries to define it via data and stats alone.

There's not much point doing that considering:

A.) Different women orgasm in different waysB.) Some women's orgasm is massively affected by whereabouts they are in their monthly cycleC.) Some women's orgasm is massively affected by their mental state / psychological feelings towards the sex, their partner, or just generally at that timeD.) Some women orgasm multiple times, some women don'tE.) Some women orgasm purely from penetration, some women don'tF.) Some women may experience any of the above at one point in their lives, and then not at another point

That said then, the elephant in the room is that, for all intents and purposes, the male orgasm and female orgasm aren't the same, so by virtue of that from a biological standpoint, there's going to be a 'gap' / some form of disparity. You're comparing apples and oranges then going "Why don't they behave in the same manner!?"

The underlying conclusion / tone of the 'orgasm gap' is that it's a result of men's sexual incompetence. Basically "men need to do better". Sure, this may be the case for some women, but what percentage of this can we apply it to? It's not quantifiable, particularly when we consider that A) what is 'good in men' for some women, is 'eww, not my thing' for other women, and also apply this TO THE SAME WOMAN depending on how she is feeling hormonally. What a woman wants, and what might make her orgasm when she is ovulating, is probably going to be completely different to when she is not in her fertile window.

I had an ex who could orgasm numerous times during regular sex for a couple of weeks a month, but outside of that period, she basically found it near impossible to orgasm at all, even from prolonged oral. She'd need like a vibrator on the highest setting to get there. If we are talking stats, that's going to even out as "me orgasming every time we have sex" and "her orgasming about 50% of the time we have sex". Obviously, that's just one anecdote but this is the lived experience of the female orgasm and when we apply this en masse, it's why this whole "gap" exists to begin with.

We have to bear in mind - for men, the orgasm is very physiological - sure, we might be sad, a bit angry or had a long day at work, but if we apply enough friction to our dick for long enough, we will orgasm. Simple as. And whilst this might apply to some women too, it definitely doesn't apply to all, and I'd wager it doesn't apply to most. Most women have real trouble orgasming if they're not in the 'headspace' for it.

DoinIt989 · 2023-08-30T10:56:33+00:00

There's not an orgasm gap. Women lie to themselves/make up history if they feel scorned by a guy. They could have great sex and then if she doesn't like him "he didn't make me cum", "he had a small dick", even if it's totally not true.

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Safinated · 2023-08-30T10:29:20+00:00

Yup. You can google it.

MistyMaisel · 2023-08-30T16:37:11+00:00

Speaking as a multi-orgasm girlie....that doesn't mean I always orgasm. Frankly, it also doesn't mean I multi-orgasm every time. It also doesn't mean those orgasms are equally intense. Sometimes it's a lot of little orgasms and you're still kind of left wanting the big one, but your body just won't for some reason. And often, the only way to get to the multiples is if you can do it once, then the rest come quickly and relatively easily. So if you can't do once, you aren't doing any.

I'm in a wonderful relationship with a great man, and being honest, when I don't orgasm it is because he's not really playing for keeps so to speak, some of the time it's because my body and mind just aren't in that place and I probably should have turned down sex, but I was being loving towards him. And the fact I came four times the last time isn't really doing me much good those times. I'm just left frustrated while he's laying there looking relaxed.

Also, the fact I'm this way doesn't for example mean any of my female friends are this way. So the fact I'm getting lots of orgasms generally doesn't mean they are. And if I were them, I'd be pretty pissed off about that. Yes, there is an orgasm gap even for us multiple orgasm girls and not multiple orgasm girls.

Stop trying to avoid this or get around it. It should be a challenge to men to take better care of their women folk, understand them better, and so forth. Not something to bicker about like somehow you're going to argue your way out of it. All you're going to do is argue your way into a dead bedroom with a broad who doesn't wanna fuck you anymore because she doesn't get to orgasm and you do.

MidoriEgg · 2023-08-30T17:15:06+00:00

I’ve heard of plenty of relationships where woman don’t orgasm once..

Title	Is there really an orgasm gap given some women are multi orgasmic?
Author	funnystor
Upvotes	1
Comments	44
Date	August 30, 2023 4:48 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/16554du/is_there_really_an_orgasm_gap_given_some_women/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/is-there-really-an-orgasm-gap-given-some-women-are.1230639 https://theredarchive.com/post/1230639

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