Why do both men and women give men more autonomy compared to women?

Stergeary · 2023-08-27T19:39:55+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Crafty_Letter_1719 · 2023-08-28T01:57:51+00:00

Because up until relatively recently men genuinely have had more autonomy then woman.

Woman only got the right to vote a hundred years ago. Sure that’s a good 4 generations and systemic sexism(against women) is long gone from western society but certain cultural attitudes will take a lot longer to shift- if they ever do.

Woman have and will likely always be infantilised by society.

Woman and children first.

Men go to war.

Men are expected to protect and provide.

Men do all the dangerous and unpleasant jobs.

Woman are allowed to be emotional. Men have to be stoic.

The reality is because woman are the givers of life men are( and always have been) the disposable gender and woman have been protected and essentially treated like children.

Crucially though this is not actually something most woman want to change. No woman actually wants to be forced to fight on the front lines should war ever break out…but they sure as hell will expect their male neighbour to do so. No woman is actually unhappy that they are are not expected to work unpleasant and dangerous jobs. No woman is actually unhappy that there is still an expectation for men to project and provide. If all these benefits and double standards come with an occasional bit of condescension most women will be happy for the trade off.

SianOiseau · 2023-08-27T18:03:19+00:00

Several points:

a) There are far less couples where a woman is significantly older. When a woman is much older, people usually do frown upon it and see her a cougar snatching a young boy. Parents usually are very against this kind of relationships.

b) Gender roles and our current attitude towards abuse cases have led many people to believe that an abuser is always a man and a victim is always a woman. From one hand, it comes from traditional gender roles and men being seen as active and aggressive, from the other, it also comes from current system where male victims left ignored and/or ostracized.

c) People also might think that casual relationship of this sort is less problematic. Men and women still get different reactions from engaging in casual sex, so it's tied a bit to slutshaming for women as well. It's okay and praise-worthy if a guy gets some casual fun, but it's wrong for a woman.

Lovemelikeareptile1 · 2023-08-27T20:16:22+00:00

Because we have trained women since a young age to basically behave like pets - zero accountability, which necessitates that we tell them they have no agency over themselves.

Yet, here is how it plays out. An 18 year old opens an OF account and posts videos of stuffing dildos up her twat. She's an EMPOWERED WOMAN.

But an 18 year old dates a 40 year old man? Burn him, burn him at the stake, he's a child molester, the female brain doesn't even develop fully until she's is 62.

obviousredflag · 2023-08-28T13:21:09+00:00

Where do you get all this data from about how parents/people in general react to sons/daughters/young adults who date older people? You really should give some foundation for you statements if you want to have them discussed or your view changed. Otherwise, people will just contradict your views without data as well.

When it comes to some threads about age gap relationships where the woman is the younger one here, but also ones of couples I know otherwise, you get reactions from older men and women, thinking that younger women are vulnerable to manipulation and abuse of an older partner.

Well, younger women ARE vulnerable to manipulation. So are young men. That doesn't mean that each age gap relationship is one where manipulation happens. People on the internet know nothing about the man and woman in the age gap relationship but they treat it as if it's a given that there must be manipulation.

I have lived the last 5 years in age gap relationships of 9 and 13 years respectively. Nobody i ever met in real life had anything negative to comment. No warnings for the younger woman, no judgment, nothing. Her parents liked me and they were happy that their daughter was with me. No manipulation happening, treating her as an equal.

But every time i mention my age gap relationships on reddit, there a people who call me and treat me like a pedophile sex criminal who hunts young women to abuse them. It's just the internet. People suck here.

DrRadditz · 2023-08-27T22:16:24+00:00

I think at it's core, it's just anti-male bias.

Ayaka_Simp_ · 2023-08-27T18:57:30+00:00

Because women refuse to act like they have or excercise autonomy. Hence RP saying they are children.

AngeCruelle · 2023-08-27T19:06:51+00:00

Ime this a double standard encouraged and enforced primarily by men, not women. This especially plays out in interpersonal relationships, where you will see a dad freak out way more over his daughter dating a man closer to his age than his son, who gets a high five. Because conventional wisdom dictates women don't like younger men and breaking down that barrier is treated as an accomplishment or rite of passage. I have yet to meet a woman who approved or encouraged a younger guy she cares about sleeping with a way older woman.

Demasii · 2023-08-27T19:33:05+00:00

Young men don't have more autonomy than young women. Men express less sexual regrets than women in general. I believe men feel more in control because they initiate and push for sexual relationships more.

When you look at places like AskReddit about men's experiences with older women men tend to report more positive experiences than the other way around.

WilliamWyattD · 2023-08-27T19:53:46+00:00

It's not about autonomy. It is underlying recognition of sex differences and differing potentials for harm.

lostatlifecoach · 2023-08-27T18:51:23+00:00

The cougar usually isn't going to A) get pregnant B) Physically overpower the 18-25 year old.

Be can usually pull the benefits of a sugar baby without nearly as much risk.

I mean come on do you really want your grandkids having a father the same age as you?

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MarBitt · 2023-08-27T18:51:52+00:00

Because women are generally underestimated.

It is believed that women always mix feelings and sex. Although all prostitution proves otherwise.

That they are weaker and more manipulable in relationships. Although everyone can see that in many relationships women dominate men, women often end relationships and marriages, men have a harder time managing breakups and divorces and that often applies "if you want to make an old man a fool, give him a young woman".

That a woman is dependent on a man, needs his protection and for him to make decisions for her. Although in many families the decisions are made by mothers and there is an increase in single households headed by mothers who can function without men. And there are more and more women who do not even strive for any serious relationship with men for at least part of their lives.

That men are always in the position of power and that sex is something a man does to a woman. Although in fact it is women who often hold the sexual power and decide what, when, how and where will be done in sex.

Young women are called girls and even early 20s are sometimes called barrely legal even though men mature later than women and their brains develop more slowly than women.

"Men are always willing to believe two things about a woman: one, that she is weak, and two, that she finds him attractive."

Pjazz_404et · 2023-08-27T19:22:01+00:00

It’s ok for men to be single

PMmeareasontolive · 2023-08-27T22:59:13+00:00

The fear is that if young women were let off the leash they would go out and get pregnant immediately, most likely with matches unfortuitous for the family (and for themselves and their child, ultimately), assuring the family remains in poverty.

But why women kept at home and not men? Maybe cause men had to go out to work or hunt and stuff, while women maintained the domestic scene. Hence easier to safeguard them.

Troll4everxdxd · 2023-08-27T23:36:27+00:00

It's maybe the combination of men being viewed as having hyperagency and "always thirsting for sex", and women being infantilized and romanticized.

Men as a whole are more likely to be seen as either predators or always open to sex. Women as a whole are more likely to be seen as poor naive and caring beings (even as adults), and thus, there isn't the same concern for women dating much younger men than the other way around.

Hell, it's not really surprising, considering lots of people (men and women) still see an adult woman dating a teen boy as "not a big deal" and the media even struggles with calling it rape, usually describing it as "having sex" or "romantic relationship".

Dull-Laugh-4037 · 2023-08-28T13:59:36+00:00

Because women have plenty of options. They have guys from all backgrounds and ages thar are interested in them. Why is it that they choose to be with an older guy? Why would a younger guy want to be with a younger women? Why doesnt the older guy date within his age group? If there is any caution, It's moreso out of caution of the older man who likely has no good reason for dating a much younger woman.

On the other hand if a guy is able to convince an older woman to date him. Props to him. Women normally are not attracted to younger men. At least in terms of a dating partner. So a young guy who dates older must have some qualities about him that make him appear more mature and stable than his counterparts.

Plus, I think there is less leverage for an older woman whose beauty may be fading. She is less likely to be controlling or in the relationship like an older guy may be. A young woman may forego developing herself and her career in lieu of having an older man take care of her. This unfortunately may psychologically and financially bind her to a man who may reveal his true self after he gets sexual benefits, etc.

Title	Why do both men and women give men more autonomy compared to women?
Author	harmonica2
Upvotes	8
Comments	36
Date	August 27, 2023 5:57 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/162x7j7/why_do_both_men_and_women_give_men_more_autonomy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-do-both-men-and-women-give-men-more-autonomy.1230676 https://theredarchive.com/post/1230676

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