Genuinely happy marriages

Alatornio · 2023-09-21T02:56:05+00:00

My parents. But nobody I know my age.

Heres a story for you. Few weeks ago my dad has a heart attack at home. My mom jumps into action, drives him, meets ambulance, gets him treatment. Visits everyday. Now pampers him at home and makes sure he is doing good.

When I still lived with my turd of a spouse I had a medical emergency. I had to drive myself with my daughter to the hospital. I was visiting my parents, spouse was working.

I call and say hey I think im dying come pickup daughter when i get to hospital. She says she cant do that, she is working.

She works about 300 yards from hospital in different building...

I had to call her friend to get my child. I was put into CT scanner and could not lift my body weight only 15 minutes later. I had an internal infection was almost dead.

She came 2 days later to vist for about 5 minutes. When my IV gown had to be done up she wouldnt do it, nurse did.

Oh by the way she is a nurses aid in her line of work...

Fast forward a few years later on the day she left she said " I should have put arsenic in your coffee"

Hmmmmm

techrmd3 · 2023-09-20T20:12:56+00:00

I really think we as modern men have Marriage all wrong.

In the olden days a man established himself, then settled down by finding a woman to be his wife for the purposes of children only.

All the man wanted in a wife is someone to have and rear his kids. That's it. There were mens fellowship clubs. There were professional organizations. And a man had his friends. He didn't want or need his wife to be a companion, a friend, a confidant. He just needed a woman to do what they have been doing since Adam and Eve. And as opposed to today... the man wanted a woman to ONLY do that which she was meant for.

So to me I think as we go into the future we as men need to concentrate on what we want out of marriage and basically interview candidates for that position only.

With a more narrow view of marriage roles I think everyone will be a lot happier with expectations more in line with what has worked well in the past.

euphramjsimpson · 2023-09-20T20:37:07+00:00

I don't know... My parents are I think.

That video was depressing to me. It really just highlights and reinforces for me the belief that I did not need to be divorced, that our kids shouldn't have to live like they do, all of it. I'm five years out but time doesn't make what was wrong then less wrong now. Maybe my ex is incapable of being content. She definitely did not communicate to me anything that she needed that she wasn't getting. I don't mind hard work in the name of a good cause. I would have done it.

l3tsR0LL · 2023-09-20T23:58:43+00:00

I don't know if other people are happy or not in their marriages

If you asked my friends and neighbors they would say my STBXW and I are the perfect happy couple. But they do not know our personal struggles

Mynewadventures · 2023-09-21T11:56:38+00:00

For some reason all of the people close to me have really good, solid, long term marriages. It's probably because I surround myself with people that are better than me.

Timely_Froyo1384 · 2023-09-21T13:20:25+00:00

Female here. Married 30 years and it is not always easy. I look at this long term relationship as 80/20 happy/annoyed. Sometimes that flips to annoyed/happy. Durning these times I focus on the long game.

Not all couples are willing to work and grow together.

Yes marriage was designed to allow woman to focus on nurturing children. A male provides the resources. A female turns those resources into a nurturing environment for children. A blind eye was given to whoring around on both parties for the protection of children.

Well western society rules have changed. now females are required to work paid hours and create that nurturing environment too. The labor is no longer balanced.

In steps that phase men don’t seem to get that woman say on repeat “I don’t need you, I want you”. If I can provide my own basic needs I don’t need you anymore, you become a want to provide more. If I’m already doing the majority of nurturing building and base line resources why do I need you? I don’t. I want you to actually share that burden.

Too many woman have watched their grandmothers and mothers play that traditional role, and not develop the skills to support themselves long term to be dumped or be abused and stuck, to trust the safety of traditional marriage anymore. Sure they were given a severance package but they have lost time to develop the skills to support themselves long term. Modern woman has become jaded to long term marriage. The sigma of divorce, old maid or having bastard children is basically gone.

Men have also lost the safety of traditional marriage to build your legacy. With no fault divorce laws and common law marriage. You have basically lost the legal upper hand and woman are using that to their advantage to reject you for whatever reason.

We sure have fubared marriage in our current society and culture of selfishness. I don’t see a solution except to not get married in its current state of affairs.

Signal-Dot2326 · 2023-09-22T02:34:28+00:00

None

Title	Genuinely happy marriages
Author	WillyT_21
Upvotes	13
Comments	34
Date	September 20, 2023 6:50 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/16nt6ui/genuinely_happy_marriages/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/genuinely-happy-marriages.1232482 https://theredarchive.com/post/1232482

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