in the U.S., women's life expectancy is about 6 years longer than mens.

so If a woman dates someone the same age, just going by averages, she will more likely than not have to endure the grief of losing her husband during her final few years, which are already depressing. in my personal life, I know several older widows, but no widowers. Both. my grandpas passed years before my grandmas, and thats what I've observed outside my family as well, though of course, it happens, I'm talking about overall trends here.

Why would we exacerbate that with an age gap in the wrong direction? if the man is also 5-10 years older, she's looking signing up for that with certainty.

not to mention taking care of him in his later years, then being a lonely widow. I don't think women want to be the lonely widow, nor do men what to be the lonely widower in their 70s and 80s, taking care of their spouse.

If a woman dates an older man, she is only adding years onto that and increasing it's already high probability. instead of 6, it could be 10, 15 years of loneliness and grief tacked onto 5-10 years of caring for their spouse in their older age. And the truth is, while women do date older men, its usually pretty close....<5 years. significant age gaps, like 7+ years are pretty rare

It makes more sense for women to date about 5 years younger so that a.) its a toss up who will outlive the other, b.) both have equal likelihood of having to take care of the other (like say, one spouse gets cancer or some other terminal illness in their 50s or 60s, whichever one it is, the other one will take that on because they actually love them, and that love goes both ways).

Not to mention, something that completely surprised me going into my thirties that no one else told me in the cultural narrative that I expired like old milk on my 30th birthday is...younger dudes are hitting on me more than I ever could have expected. It's honestly wild. All the old creeps that used to cat call when I was a teen seemed to have disappeared (good riddance) and been replaced by curious, cute, younger guys offering to help me with stuff, complimenting me, buying me drinks, and so on. Upgrade!