How do you keep the relationship going past the initial excitement?

KiwiAffectionate4916 · 2022-10-29T13:58:51+00:00

Try not to worry too much, your anxiety could drive her away. Relationships inevitably become boring.

Some basic tips:

Plan a date, something new at least 2 to 4 times a month.
Always being trying new sex positions/kinks
Learn how to give her multiple orgasms if you’re not already doing that.
Stand your ground and don’t comply to everything she says or asks for. Call her out on her bullshit
Constantly be improving yourself. Stay fit, advance your career/income and generally try to become a better person.
Have a life of your own. Spend time with friends and family without her. Have hobbies without her.
Be willing to walk away

OrangeVoxel · 2022-10-29T15:40:21+00:00

Great tips already especially top comment.

Keep surprising her. Give her surprise gifts or notes. Small things. Sneak a candy bar into her purse before she leaves. Write her sexy notes or snaps

Keep pushing boundaries. Doing new things, meeting friends and family, having new events

MO_drps_knwldg · 2022-10-29T13:29:20+00:00

Focus on having fun, don’t have expectations or fantasize. You want to be able to be yourself 100% with someone you’re with long term. The more you worry about keeping their interest, the more you’ll get in your own head and start to act unnaturally.

Mak0wski · 2022-10-29T16:01:00+00:00

Don't stop dating her once you get into a relationship with her. What i mean by that is continue going on dates and planning stuff together, don't fall into the trap of "i've made it, now i can stop doing all that stuff"

Milksteaknow · 2022-10-29T19:00:58+00:00

Do a date night once a week. Don’t make the mistake I made and get complacent after 6 months and stop doing this.

Icy_Rub1839 · 2022-10-29T13:43:44+00:00

Keep her guessing. The worst thing you can make her feel is boredom.

IamWisdom · 2022-10-29T14:39:37+00:00

Don't try to hang out with her constantly. If you aren't sure about how you feel about her she will feel that. Change your mindset to being unsure if she's good enough for you to stop being single for. Then she'll obsess over you.

D3vi1b0y · 2022-10-29T13:52:35+00:00

Be yourself and let things flow naturally. Forcing things will just make them worse.

K_Sleight · 2022-10-29T21:49:21+00:00

I look for things I have in common so I have adventures to go on with my person of interest. My current girlfriend is just about perfect because she likes literally everything I like. She likes my cooking, she likes to explore with me, we play videogames, and we exchange novels to read, and favorite TV and movies together. She's just as nerdy as nerdy as me, and even if we weren't together, we could be great friends.

I think the big trick is seeing past the superficial, and finding someone you really have a lot in common with, someone who compliments your strengths, diminishes your weakness, and for whom the relationship just makes life better.

You don't need someone you find beautiful, you need to find a best friend who is beautiful, someone that doesn't pull you from your life to spend time with them, but rather someone that wants to share their life, and wants to be part of yours.

In this way, it's not about losing the spark, it's about finding someone that kindled that spark into flame.

itsamatterofattitude · 2022-10-29T13:59:18+00:00

What it takes to get em is what it takes to keep em.

sinhaanip · 2022-10-29T13:23:37+00:00

What excites them is unpredictability, mysterious air of charm, sexualisation and gradual escalation.

Never allow them to figure you out. Period.

TransportationJumpy6 · 2022-10-29T16:31:03+00:00

Treat her nice…… take her somewhere fancy like Long John’s Silvers twice a month (Arby’s works too).

g3wb3r · 2022-10-29T14:37:52+00:00

all relationships have a life span ... if you are worried about "keeping her" you've already lost... however to extend the relationship as long as possible the best way is through sex .. you have to keep pushing her limits and get her to do freakier and freakier shit and get her to continuously submit to you in new ways sexually... also it is crucial to make her cum any way you can do it... if you don't do what I'm saying in this post you may be able to "keep her" longer but the relationship will basically turn into a master-slave relationship where she takes complete control of your life and makes you her beta working slave until one day she's had enough of your weakness and she takes the last of your money and dumps you off on the side of the road and never sees you again.. all of this goes even deeper and if you really want to know how to do it in more detail send me a PM... there's one major thing I am leaving out of this post

RenaldoGarfunkel · 2022-10-29T16:34:59+00:00

Be handsome and rich. The rest will take care of itself bro. Lol don't over think it.

brattcatt420 · 2022-10-30T01:44:51+00:00

Just ask her. In a nice way, have a deep conversation about this question. You shouldn't get bored of your partner/relationship. If you are, and its a problem, you should talk about it.

The answers are really going to depend on your love languages and what you like to do. These can change over time fyi.

Gifts‐ Treats, notes, flowers, shopping trips, origami, shelves for all their stuff lol. things that are thoughtful and remind you of them.

Time- events, movies, dinners, cooking (no phones), gaming

Words- letters, mix "tapes", compliments

Touch- Massages (doesn't have to be extravagant), non intimate touching, hugging, intimate touching

Service- Planning things, chores, making them a meal, going out of your way to do something they don't like.

What might make the relationship stay exciting for you might not be what does it for her. I know it's cliche, but this helps so much. Doing things you both like and both make you feel loved.

Zealousideal6669 · 2022-10-30T09:23:34+00:00

Simply stay high-value, stay grounded and have boundaries, tease her, test her just for fun, and also learn how to entertain yourself maybe collect a few things that you can do together but the simple key is just stay that high-value guy that she was attracted to for the first time but also know that every girl are replaceable so don't be afraid to walk away if you have to

LordFlanders · 2022-10-30T00:40:34+00:00

You got to bring variety in the game. E.g. Anal is great.

bDsmDom · 2022-10-29T18:15:23+00:00

Kill all sense of initial excitement. That oughta do ya.

vapricot · 2022-10-29T22:10:51+00:00

Don't force compatibility. If you're really compatible, it's a lot easier for it to work.

TheTruth221 · 2022-10-29T17:33:41+00:00

i rotate them in and out like tires

IHeartFaye · 2022-10-30T06:30:22+00:00

date someone else

Elenariel · 2022-10-29T20:56:45+00:00

Or you could give polyamory a try and have it all. It's hard to train yourself to overcome the jealousy, but once you do, it really purifies the love. Unlinking sex with love was probably the best life hack that we came up with.

And since we are both super insecure people with huge fears of abandonment, the affirmation that nothing either one of us does ever will cause one of us to abandon the other.

It's achieving the sort of unconditional love that generally only exists between parent and child. We think it's the better way to live, but the initial years of training yourself out of jealousy is pretty difficult. We kind of cheated by both coming out of super broken families relying on our anger for strength, and so we were experienced in not giving in to strong emotions and wrangle them under our mastery, rather than become slaves to them and have to adulterate our love with limiting covenants and conditions precedent.

It becomes the sort of love that frees rather than limits. It's like having a supportive parent who is in your corner whatever you want to do, and will always be there for you no matter how badly you just fucked up.

Ok_Reindeer_2975 · 2022-10-29T16:26:02+00:00

Simply by not falling into the initial excitement phase.

webbyTO · 2022-10-29T21:00:05+00:00

Hahahahaha

jimsgympartyhouse · 2022-10-30T00:01:54+00:00

Open relationship worked for us. 22 years

icouch · 2022-10-31T05:20:52+00:00

you don't. tell her to fuck off.

JGoonSquad · 2022-10-29T15:53:51+00:00

It's normal for that to happen, it's called the Coolidge effect.

beefncheesesocks · 2022-10-30T05:06:28+00:00

You are trying too hard. It’s gonna come off as weakness/neediness. You need to find a sense of confidence. Then it will be natural.

deznue · 2022-10-30T09:23:00+00:00

Share things in common and do fun stuff

rusty68 · 2022-10-30T10:21:54+00:00

Maybe you weren’t meant for one another, is another thing to consider. Esp if you’ve exhausted all possibilities

Apprehensive_Fill261 · 2022-10-30T11:59:30+00:00

In the initial stages of a relationship these following hormones are released: Phenylethylamine or PEA for short (chemically similar to amphetamine), dopamine, norepinephrine, oxytocin, serotonin and vasopressin. Unfortunately these calm down within 12-36 months hence why most relationships don’t last beyond that time frame. Couples will therefore need to work on producing those chemicals themselves by maintaining desire. There are activities couples can indulge to create the excitement needed to maintain a lasting relationship. Check these cards out- https://www.lemonhoneyhome.com/product-page/couple-things-to-do-couple-date-ideas-couple-activities-scratch-cards

Genderneutral_Bird · 2022-10-30T14:03:37+00:00

Try not to worry too much. If the relationship is good for the both of you it’ll come natural. If you have to work too hard then it’s not the relationship for you

arkadylaw · 2022-10-31T22:33:50+00:00

In addition to all the other good advice, it's important to embrace the reality of any relationship going through stages and evolving. Expecting to preserve the initial excitement in itself will create unrealistic expectations. Novelty is novelty because it's new by definition. It's ok for some excitement to subside while or other, deeper emotions to increase in a real, meaningful connection.

You don't need to feel the pressure to constantly surprise and entertain your partner. If the girl you like so much is emotionally mature enough, she understand this as well, and she doesn't expect constant stimulation with new dates and new activities.

Inevitebly, any long term relationship settles into some kind of routine, which is not a bad things but a natural part of spending long enough time with someone.

Title	How do you keep the relationship going past the initial excitement?
Author	150420throwaway
Upvotes	217
Comments	66
Date	October 29, 2022 12:23 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/ygia9o/how_do_you_keep_the_relationship_going_past_the/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-you-keep-the-relationship-going-past-the.1247501 https://theredarchive.com/post/1247501

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