Unless you are in an established relationship with someone, there needs to be a degree of emotional detachment regarding a potential future with them

RideTheRim · 2022-10-19T14:30:48+00:00

My biggest issue. Go through so many girls I don’t even like, as soon as I find one who’s attractive and cool I end up over-pursuing because I’m projecting way too much.

Icy_Rub1839 · 2022-10-19T15:42:57+00:00

I am completely numb to everything now. Breakups don't effect me.

Even the death of close friends and family lately just doesn't seem to effect me anymore. I don't know why.

theosdore · 2022-10-19T14:55:48+00:00

I have been having a problem with this lately. It’s easily said, but when you have a girl you like it’s really hard to actually have the detached mindset. Is there anyway that’s helped you?

gemmas1987 · 2022-10-19T15:17:45+00:00

Recently started noticing this happening. I think probably 90% of heartbreak in my life was actually self-inflicted because of doing exactly this

CometAzur42069 · 2022-10-19T16:16:05+00:00

Of course...but I think people over pursue because we're all scared of losing someone we really click with. You rarely meet someone that makes you feel that way.

walterthecat · 2022-10-19T20:09:57+00:00

I don’t think a detachment mindset is healthy if you want to establish a relationship. You shouldn’t be afraid to be vulnerable. Yes vulnerability comes with a risk as any with wild endeavor.

Sure you might get your feelings hurt but is that really the worst thing. Do you really think that someone rejecting you is bad, it just mean story don’t have to waste your time on a person that doesn’t want to be with you, I see that as a positive.

Really it’s about patience and communication. All relationships thrive with communication.

MrGrix · 2022-10-19T21:29:16+00:00

Jesus... I was about to ask the girl out from work. I've known her for 3 weeks and she's on my mind 7/24. Evet though we have almost nothing in common, my body reacts to her like a magnet. Whenever she talks to me I feel like I'm having a mini panic attack. Not sure if it's anxiety, horniness, love or all of them combined. Send help.

2022-10-19T13:56:00+00:00

All good points.

JustinianIV · 2022-10-19T20:46:46+00:00

Man i would love nothing more than to be able to do this. I’m just wired the wrong way, i fall hard.

Vegetable_Chair_3726 · 2022-10-19T17:31:17+00:00

It’s a trauma response

Canadian-Seductioner · 2022-10-19T14:47:05+00:00

Didn't you post this a few weeks ago?

Edit: yep, he did: https://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/xk67vt/unless_you_are_in_an_established_relationship/

abhichee · 2022-10-19T19:00:36+00:00

Invest in someone who invests back in you, not in someone who you Think you like.

AdamIPresume · 2022-10-19T22:41:35+00:00

Thanks for this.

MrDeceased · 2022-10-20T00:41:08+00:00

Literally happened to me last week 🤦🏻‍♂️ back to being a man whore I go and then they wonder why I break hearts before lunch time 😂

vandaalen · 2022-10-19T20:52:18+00:00

http://archive.is/agtCP

http://archive.is/FaeIe

Evanisnotmyname · 2022-10-20T02:44:03+00:00

This is literally a copy of a post from like a month ago. Same title and everything. Fuck off karma whore

caesarfecit · 2022-10-19T21:14:54+00:00

Repost/duh.

frozenAuzzie · 2022-10-20T02:24:05+00:00

I usually don’t get to vested. I met a woman earlier this summer, I clicked with her like I never have before. It only lasted about a month, but that shit messed me up more than any other relationship, even my ex fiancé, or live in gf I dated for years.

I was for sure guilty if everything you described, but it’s hard when you really like someone. She played me along to a bit though, said she wanted to spend the rest of her life with me on our 3rd date 💀 turns out she didn’t

TheTruth221 · 2022-10-20T09:40:27+00:00

always have choices

Title	Unless you are in an established relationship with someone, there needs to be a degree of emotional detachment regarding a potential future with them
Author	MO_drps_knwldg
Upvotes	283
Comments	47
Date	October 19, 2022 1:39 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/y8310k/unless_you_are_in_an_established_relationship/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/unless-you-are-in-an-established-relationship-with.1248101 https://theredarchive.com/post/1248101

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