Do as much small talk as possible

LandscapeClear1630 · 2021-12-25T03:04:55+00:00

Dr. Robert Glover (the author of "No More Mr. Nice Guy") in his second book "Dating Essentials for Men" talks about pushing yourself to do small talk not only with attractive women but with EVERYONE. This way you'll not only acquire social skills that will help you when you're actually trying to pickup a girl but it will also puts you in a chatty mood (RSD calls this, being in state).

Dr. Glover referes to making small talk with people in general "playing in the small leagues", as in preparation for the big game that you'll encounter when you're trying to chat and attract a beautiful girl, the "big leagues", like he calls it.

It's a great book for people who are struggling with social anxiety and people pleasears. I recommend it

NinjaTurtle2077 · 2021-12-25T05:02:24+00:00

Biggest mistake I used to make is only approaching attractive girls but I found the better approach is to chat with everyone, attractive girls are part of the mix, and I’ve found not attempting to scale up the effort when talking to attractive girls helps a lot. If you try too hard when talking to an attractive girl it really shows but when you deal with her the same way as everyone else it really works and chemistry just builds if it’s the right person and she shows interest

GhoulChaser · 2021-12-25T05:24:28+00:00

Pro tip don’t only limit this to women. Do this with everyone. A small interaction that’s positive with anyone can go a long way.

lana_del_reymysterio · 2021-12-25T04:52:06+00:00

Serious question, what do you do when people generally don't talk to people outside their social groups where you live?

I can small talk to people just fine, provided they're receptive. Problem is, most people here aren't receptive.

NattyGains4Life · 2021-12-25T03:10:01+00:00

If basic social skills is an issue then yeah small talk is useful.

However most people's problem isn't conversing, it's being viewed as a sexual being from a woman and being polarising

NattyGains4Life · 2021-12-25T03:14:42+00:00

I'm ok with talking to people but terrible at small talk. So sometimes the conversation goes quite very awkwardly. Because deep down, I hate small talk. Why waste time, just go straight to the main topic. But still, we need small talk as human being. So how do I improve?

Ducharbaine · 2021-12-25T18:50:13+00:00

About small talk.

Many guys, especially ones who struggle the most with women, think that small talk is a waste of time, and get impatient or frustrated when engaging in it. It seems trite, empty, vapid, and intellectually valueless.

This is a huge misunderstanding.

Small talk is not about what is being communicated on the surface. It is about what is being subcommunicated. The topics are fluff for good reason. It frees up cognitive capacity to focus better on assessing the important parts of the conversation: how confident is this person? Do they take themselves too seriously? Do they have a good sense of humor? Are they witty? Compassionate? Fun to talk with? Do they have good social intelligence?

If the conversation was about meaty, weighty "serious" intellectually stimulating topics, that would take up too much focus. Small talk can also serve as a litmus test for whether the person is worth engaging with on deeper topics.

It is a huge social mistake to dismiss the value of small talk. That attitude is a strong signal that you won't be a fun person to get to know.

i_love_crazy_hobos · 2021-12-25T03:58:40+00:00

I think this is good advice. When I go out I've found it to be difficult to start cold approaching right away. Starting off with small talk, asking for the time, asking guys for directions, etc, has hugely helped me to build some social momentum, which makes cold approaching far easier.

Fabulous-Marketing-4 · 2021-12-25T10:18:32+00:00

I should do this, but I tend to think a lot about what I am going to say, and when I avoid thinking, I can say really stupid things :S.

Dakessian · 2021-12-25T13:21:40+00:00

Damn, this how I’ve been doing it. If she’s very attractive I’ll really tease her based on what she tells me.

13Xxx21 · 2021-12-25T15:20:47+00:00

Talk to everyone say what hits your tongue...filters are encouraged, do say something ya might be just the laugh somebody needs or the kind word that breaks a bad day into a new happy day

PackBackRehab · 2021-12-25T15:25:18+00:00

Fuck yes, I love this.

SnooGiraffes5176 · 2021-12-25T21:17:18+00:00

Very solid advice. Get out there and build experience points.

NattyGains4Life · 2021-12-25T02:41:02+00:00

You don't normally talk to people?

Woujo · 2021-12-25T03:28:18+00:00

No small talk isn't getting you or anybody else laid. You need to have a fun, emotionally resonant conversation about deep, interesting topics.

RPslimjim · 2021-12-25T03:05:09+00:00

Small talk with a cute girl and you’re just going to mess things up. The more you talk the higher chance you have of fucking shit up. Walk up. Say hi. Get the number or social and ensure she follows you and get out of there. Let your life (social media stories) do the talking for you.

NattyGains4Life · 2021-12-25T02:34:31+00:00

Nah small talk is a waste of time and time is money all you have to do if you want to get a girl is pull up and shut up that’s it the less you talk to better

Ryu_Saki · 2021-12-25T04:54:14+00:00

I have never done this before cause I just don't know what to talk about like I'm beyond worthless at small talk. I mean cold approaches makes me stutter ALOT so can't even say what I wanna say.

I guess my autism has play in here since I do have that. i would like to change this so I will be able to do all of this.

2021-12-25T10:57:13+00:00

Have a talk bro!

ThorHammerscribe · 2021-12-25T13:44:35+00:00

But Nobody likes small talk

b00kem_dan0 · 2021-12-25T16:29:08+00:00

Don’t go in thinking “ I’m gonna get at her cos she’s available” , you have to go after the single women that you WANT.

And like this guys says, get used to talking to strangers and people off rip!!!

Mindset change for me that worked: I’m just going to talk to these people like it’s orientation day at college. Everyone wants to make friends because they don’t know anyone here, it’s just like talking to my friends back home.

it’s helped me come off as myself, while still tryna “keep it playa”. It’s worked great for me so far’

Alecstocker · 2021-12-25T22:35:28+00:00

Proud of you. Not easy.

Marinaraplease · 2021-12-26T00:19:55+00:00

Fuck this shit I just want to crumble my social life and be a heremit

InstructionVivid6980 · 2021-12-30T17:00:43+00:00

I would love to but she is always surrounded by her friends and what can I say to her ?

REEE_XD · 2021-12-30T20:28:47+00:00

What do you do if you absolutely hate small talk

Title	Do as much small talk as possible
Author	NattyGains4Life
Upvotes	789
Comments	99
Date	December 25, 2021 2:03 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/ro032t/do_as_much_small_talk_as_possible/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/do-as-much-small-talk-as-possible.1270308 https://theredarchive.com/post/1270308

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