Was I really stupid? Or is this meaningless harsh criticism?

RProgrammerMan · 2022-01-25T07:25:07+00:00

There’s more to life than getting laid

NgocMamBomb · 2022-01-25T05:38:16+00:00

Sounds like you played it by feel. 🤷🏻‍♂️ if it’s not there it’s not there.

Voracious_vohra · 2022-01-25T09:58:02+00:00

Having a good time is so underrated in today’s time. And you did...have a good time. You found mental comfort over physical one and that’s so rare. Don’t beat yourself about what your friend said, you did what seemed right in the moment and that’s that.

No_Wedding8054 · 2022-01-25T05:56:10+00:00

You did great mate its not always about sex

surfershane25 · 2022-01-25T08:37:56+00:00

Idk did you enjoy yourself? That’s a win. Could you have gotten laid, maybe, or maybe just gotten blue balled, that’s not really a win… I think a lot of people on here obsess over getting their dick in something and lose sight of the other ways you can enjoy a person. It’s like Aldiss snow from Forgetting Sarah marshal talking about how sex is the ultimate goal and Peter is disagreeing and it makes Aldiss look like a dick and Peter look like a great guy.

dirtysideacc2020 · 2022-01-25T08:10:47+00:00

Did you at least get her number or some way of contacting her?

abrahamlincorn · 2022-01-25T13:30:28+00:00

No!! There is nothing wrong with taking it slow with a literal stranger especially someone you meet in a hallmark movie scenario! Savor the moment! Maybe you could’ve tried to go further but you have no idea if she’d actually respond positively of that- your female friend is surprisingly forgetting that fun flirting, a good joint and a nice dinner aren’t an automatic yes to sex. These are all great ways to seduce a woman btw, just know that there’s not an automatic ding ding that goes off once you complete a certain number of tasks or something- consent is a conversation! Hope you get her number and see eachother again!

coolwater85 · 2022-01-25T14:10:47+00:00

This is a beautiful life experience for so many reasons. You turned a cold-open into stimulating conversation with a deeper connection. You made a meaningful connection with someone you were genuinely interested in, and it ended up being an extremely pleasant evening for both of you.

You will look back on this memory for many years to come, and you will remember certain details, things each of you said, and at times you may even want to kick yourself for not asking her back to your room or asking if you could walk her to her room.

Was she into you? Most likely, yes.
Could you have had sex with her? Also, most likely, yes.
Did it feel like that was the thing you wanted to do at the time? Nope. You said it yourself, "we shared a moment, and didn’t wanna ruin it." Which is why the night didn't evolve organically into that.

Here's the kicker about the whole thing. That sharing a moment, meaningful emotional interaction, is really what made her so into you. That's what you should be looking for later in life.

Also, the girl in your group sounds like she just wants to get used by a guy on this trip, which is also okay.

augustus14159 · 2022-01-25T14:13:06+00:00

This sounds like a wonderful time. I would choose this intimacy many many times over connection-less physical intimacy

PondScum420 · 2022-01-25T14:54:15+00:00

If you were happy with it that’s all that matters man. Sex isn’t the end all be all

ModerMouse2 · 2022-01-25T12:12:39+00:00

I can confidently say the the girl that called you stupid was indeed stupid. You got to know her, you got to have dinner with her you got to smoke weed with her, you should be proud of that.

Edited for corrections.

1keentolearn12 · 2022-01-25T12:50:49+00:00

If you approached her to be friends, you did really well. If not….

MeteoraRed · 2022-01-25T14:41:11+00:00

As you went without expectations anything is okay, having intercourse is not the end !

PuroPincheGains · 2022-01-25T14:57:31+00:00

You're not stupid and if you had a good time then you're living your best life breh. Nothing wrong with smoking with a cute girl, and it's fantastic practice regardless of if it goes any further or not. BUT, you could have escalated if you wanted.

Sensitive-Permit-877 · 2022-01-25T15:03:21+00:00

Well if you played your cards right sounds like you could have got laid and had that second lady suck up that love

mustafarian · 2022-01-25T15:50:12+00:00

bruh its only stupid / idioditic of you if you have regrets, and you wanted to bang but didn't do anything about it.

From the sounds of it you had an amazing time and moments so fck what that chick said haha, shes probably thinking that you wanted to get laid and you couldn't

BigShuggy · 2022-01-25T13:46:36+00:00

She meant you’re stupid implying that you didn’t know she was into you. If you didn’t know then yeah you are a little stupid since no stranger would spend that amount of time with you if they weren’t. As for getting laid you don’t have to pretend that’s your end goal whenever you talk to people if it isn’t. Seems like you had a great time. As for your friend, you’re not obligated to tell anyone anything if you know she’s gonna be like that just don’t talk about it.

Sage_S_Snake · 2022-01-25T10:04:49+00:00

I've had a similar moment.. gave her my whale tale greenstone necklace/pendant.

NattyGains4Life · 2022-01-25T13:08:01+00:00

"You should have gone for the ~~head~~ kiss."

- Thanos

VorpalPaperclip · 2022-01-25T13:55:43+00:00

If you had a good time, that is your answer. Maybe your friend that was being mean wants in your pants. The reality is, try and let your (not hers or ours ) feelings guide you. Screwing random people may be something that makes half the people on this sub reddit feel good but you get to be in charge of what you do.

indrid_cold · 2022-01-25T14:04:11+00:00

Meaningless harsh criticism. If anything the girl was jealous you went on your own and had a romantic evening with an attractive foreign stranger while she was sitting around getting drunk with the same old. She was just trying to put down your experience, not a great friend.

Pedalcrunch · 2022-01-25T15:05:51+00:00

Nah, don't listen to haters man, you did well and you had a good time.

Lifeequinox · 2022-01-25T15:37:53+00:00

Personally I'd always escalate gradually on any girl I'm on a date with... it may not lead to sex but at least I can go home feeling I did all I could. Otherwise, it'll sit in my mind for days (listening to that voice in my head repeating "you idiot! she was showing sexual IOIs!") LOL

BitchLetEmKnow · 2022-01-25T16:44:14+00:00

Sex isn't always the end goal and your friend is the stupid one. Just cause you're on vacation doesn't mean it should be hook up city. Experiencing a person as they are can be just as much of an enjoyable experience and she may even like you more for the simple fact you didn't try to push or hint at sex.

Ignore your friend. If she wants to get laid she can do so. Doesn't make you stupid for not even having it on your mind.

You've left the mark of "a great guy i had an amazing conversation with that I'd like to meet again" instead of "that one guy that chatted me up and fucked me before his trip was over"

69Gwynbleidd69 · 2022-01-25T19:49:16+00:00

Yes, you should have done something. I mean if you didn't felt it or wanted it, thats OK, then don't do it. But judging by your story, the girl was into you, interested and usually girls like when men make the first move. But by the sound of it you two had a good connection, it's not even about just getting sex, it sounds like a genuine mututal attraction.

hashishkabob · 2022-01-26T03:10:59+00:00

you did fine champ

smind893 · 2022-01-25T15:16:48+00:00

You should have rubbed your vagina on her vagina.

diegggs94 · 2022-01-25T14:12:58+00:00

If you were wanting to get laid your probably could have, but that’s not always what we should strive for. You gained perspective from her stories and had a romcom type of night.

VDKay · 2022-01-25T15:15:35+00:00

well... did you want anything more to happen? If yes, then yes, you are stupid for not making a move because it sounded like it would have been really easy.

Minute-Lie-2287 · 2022-01-25T16:25:08+00:00

If a girl observing said that then you had it in the bag almost surely. Whether you feel dumb for not taking the opportunity is on you.

AndreKnows · 2022-01-25T17:06:40+00:00

When I'm reading this, I can barely imagine that you didn't make anything happen. Only moving forward that happened was her initiative, but even then you didn't make it happen.

For the future, if girl stays with you inside the pool for 4 hours she is into you, if she invites you to go somewhere, she is into you. Especially a foreigner on a trip. Its hard to imagine that you fucked up such a clear win

kuavi · 2022-01-25T18:55:06+00:00

This is a perfect example of why frame is so important.

Do you choose to accept that random bitchy lady's frame of reality that the only reason to talk to the opposite sex is to get laid and that you're a failure for not doing so

OR

Stay strong with your own frame of reality that you wanted to and did talk with a cute lady about the secrets of life and sucessfully enjoyed each other's company for the evening?

Something something the opinions of mice do not affect the lion or something like that lol.

Czekraft · 2022-01-25T20:43:10+00:00

More important is that you were in the moment and made a connection. Sex can always come later.

BigRyanG · 2022-01-25T20:48:43+00:00

If you really hit it off with someone it’s okay to take it slow!

baddog992 · 2022-01-25T22:45:38+00:00

That girl in your group is weird. You did the right thing.

Stravinski97 · 2022-01-25T22:52:15+00:00

No, you aren't stupid.It's quiet opposite. I would say that you are very emotionally and socially inteligent if you could talk about things you mentioned with person whom you see for the first time in life.I think the girl who told you that you are stupid could have express her disaproval in many other, wiser and more intelligent ways. There are many other options, words and phrases or body language to tell that you don't adore someones behaviour. To tell someone that he is stupid is the worst way and it's form of logicall mistake called "ad hominem" which is attack on character which isn't followed by logical facts. She is,maybe a girl who doesn't know how to express her feelings in any other way then sex or "ad hominem". Sex and "ad hominem" works on primal, primordial instincts. Don't let someone who function in that mode affect your confidence. I can only blame you for not using that emotional and social inteligence to also connect with that girl in a physical way also. :)

sh1ftyswar · 2022-01-25T23:28:26+00:00

Not at all man, that girl was jealous...I've got no doubt of that...most likely because she likes you but that's speculation and there could be other reasons.

CompetitionFair7686 · 2022-01-25T12:09:47+00:00

If you wanted something with her yes you should have kissed her, because now it’s more likely you put yourself in the friendzone.

abrahamlincorn · 2022-01-25T04:54:01+00:00

[permanently deleted]

DependentAd1504 · 2022-01-25T09:24:47+00:00

If you didn't wanted to get laid or kiss...then it's fine. Otherwise yup she's right.

LucianU · 2022-01-25T10:20:25+00:00

It sounds like you were afraid of a rejection and that's why you didn't escalate.

But it's pointless to feel bad about it now. See what you can do next time to get past the fear.

Tankerdood · 2022-01-25T10:58:49+00:00

First, it’s not, and doesn’t have to be, always about getting laid. Second, if that self-righteous cunt was THAT interested, why didn’t she come over and make it a 3-some (not necessarily in a sexual sense)???

Uoger · 2022-01-25T14:49:50+00:00

You let out a lot? Here’s a tip, never open yourself up fully to women. Do it VERY slowly. Or else she’ll get bored of you because there’s nothing new to learn.

Murky-Finish1733 · 2022-01-25T13:40:00+00:00

U got friendzoned. Should’ve fucked.

JacobMoogberg69 · 2022-01-25T06:06:57+00:00

Yes, you are as dumb as a rock.

LoraxClow · 2022-01-25T12:18:49+00:00

Nobody’s mentioned the girl yet either! If she wanted to kiss you or something I feel like she would have tried.

MikeAlphaGolf · 2022-01-25T09:13:28+00:00

I mean you spent half a day of your trip having D and Ms with a stranger. If that was your goal then fair enough. If it were me, I would have tried to escalate to sex. People always want to fuck on holidays. I don’t blame your friend for giving you a hard time about it.

2022-01-25T12:22:41+00:00

[permanently deleted]

2udaylatif · 2022-01-26T00:30:42+00:00

You should have escalated. Missed opportunity.

Title	Was I really stupid? Or is this meaningless harsh criticism?
Author	NattyGains4Life
Upvotes	148
Comments	128
Date	January 25, 2022 4:41 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/sc5b7n/was_i_really_stupid_or_is_this_meaningless_harsh/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/was-i-really-stupid-or-is-this-meaningless-harsh.1268327 https://theredarchive.com/post/1268327

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