How to talk about physical preferences without causing offence?

Mother_of_Grendel · 2021-09-01T05:28:48+00:00

I think the problem is your aggregating, talking about groups of girls instead of the individual girl you're flirting with.

Instead of telling your curvy lady friend "I like curvy women", I think it makes more sense to tell her "I like your curves".

I think the reverse is true for women complimenting men; if a girl says to me "I like tall guys" that sounds more flirty/fun to me than "I like how tall you are." The indirectness of the flirtation seems to work better for ladies (in my mind, anyway, that rings true).

nerd_by_proxy · 2021-09-01T03:33:27+00:00

Curvy girl here. I get it. I've worked hard to overcome the insecurity that comes from the world constantly telling me I'm not good enough. I've come to love my thick thighs - I'm a runner, so I've earned them! But maybe instead of telling people you like "curvy" or "thick" girls, just tell your curvy thick girl how sexy she is, and be specific about what you like about her body. Good luck, man!

Mother_of_Grendel · 2021-09-01T05:26:37+00:00

It's mostly because many of us have been feeling inferior our whole lives due to our extra weight and curves. We might accept who we are and love ourselves, but it takes a lot to overcome years of conditioning with the belief we are less attractive and less loveable. Just tell them they are beautiful, attractive and sexy and don't mention the weight thing. If they ask you specifically about their body your, don't say "I like curvy\thicc girls", because it comes off as a fetish. Just tell them you like everything about them and wouldn't change a thing. That would make me happy!

Woujo · 2021-09-01T13:51:13+00:00

Why are you telling girls what your preferences are? If you are interested in a girl, pursue her. If not, don't.

If a girl asks you what your "preference" is, talk in terms of personality.

GordonGecko69 · 2021-09-01T06:17:35+00:00

Slippery slope. Women are raised to be self conscious. Their first critic is their mom. Tread lightly and choose your words well. How about: I like real women and they come in all shapes and sizes.

brianallen1 · 2021-09-01T13:47:24+00:00

Well, just manifest, don't try to convince.

atomant88 · 2021-09-01T07:50:42+00:00

Avoid the subject. If you're trying to seduce a woman; she is your type . Give her no reason to doubt this. None. If she doesn't believe you; convince her. Or give her a chance to convince her. Escalate.

Canadian-Seductioner · 2021-09-01T12:16:55+00:00

Easy: you don't. If they ask you what your type is, tell them you don't have a type.

2old2beCool · 2021-09-01T03:16:29+00:00

Instead of "curvy", just try "voluptuous". (Or any other synonyms that may be more agreeable to hear).

And if it’s your preference, then fuck what anybody else says man.

Voluptuous women are beautiful.

drubbaaa · 2021-09-01T08:54:14+00:00

Maybe you had better not talk about this. I don't see any obstacle for you: go for the girls you like but do not talk about the body type you like in women.

SDdude81 · 2021-09-01T12:30:23+00:00

Why are you even talking about physical preferences with women?

j2bbt238 · 2021-09-01T15:23:00+00:00

dont talk to women as if they’re porn categories

Moikepdx · 2021-09-01T16:44:15+00:00

This openness ironically probably works a little better on the thin girls than the curvy ones. Women know that a high percentage of men will say anything to hook up, but then ditch them when they get bored. Telling a woman you are not into something about her makes you less of a threat plus it might make her feel like she has to earn your attention if she is interested in you.

Probably better to keep it about her personality, her style, or her eyes. (Eyes because she is unlikely to be self-conscious about them and this complement promotes longer eye contact, which gives a feeling of intimacy.)

Infinite_Relation_86 · 2021-09-01T06:39:47+00:00

Pass those thinner girls my way please, lol

Infinite_Relation_86 · 2021-09-01T06:40:23+00:00

Body positivity movement works such that “your beautiful, until your more beautiful than me”

10000ColdNights · 2021-09-01T12:44:43+00:00

Land whale is the best thing I’ve ever heard

shwirpy · 2021-09-01T09:03:08+00:00

Just say "You're totally my type" or "I cant stop staring at your <fat% preference> <body part>"

Infinite_Relation_86 · 2021-09-01T06:41:14+00:00

Or just say “your not hot to me, but would be to my attractive freind” or vice VESA. Much simpler way of saying it

shipsAreWeird123 · 2021-09-01T15:55:47+00:00

Compliment the people you do like rather than insulting people for their deficits.

MetaphysicPhilosophy · 2021-09-01T21:31:34+00:00

Don't feel alone man. I also am a very in shape, muscular guy and I prefer curvy women as well. I like women with meat on their bones I guess you could say. There is nothing wrong with that. If some guys can only be into skinny girls then other guys can be into other body types. Don't worry about what society thinks or what people think of you, just keep being you. And also about your last question: it's all about communication. You have to let the girl know you find her attractive through your words, otherwise she won't know what the hell you are thinking, and unfortunately most girls assume the worst because they are naturally insecure.

Title	How to talk about physical preferences without causing offence?
Author	FaithInStrangers94
Upvotes	43
Comments	34
Date	September 1, 2021 12:48 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/pfivsu/how_to_talk_about_physical_preferences_without/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-to-talk-about-physical-preferences-without.1277105 https://theredarchive.com/post/1277105

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