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[–][deleted] 13 points14 points15 points 15 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
Two months? Congrats!
A word of advice: I don't know how many times you've been rejected, but don't expect things to go smoothly the first times. I mean, don't get your hopes too high after the first successes. That being said, enjoy!
[–]strongoaktree8 points 15 years ago [recovered] (6 children) | Copy Link
I know, I know. I'm just very proud of myself and I wanted to thank everyone for the community-bond.
[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points 15 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Just trying to share my thoughts: I let my guard down when I thought I had the girl, and blew it up... took some time to recover, but here we are again!
[–]strongoaktree 2 points3 points4 points 15 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Thanks for the warning, man. I'll keep my guard up till it's a 100% sure thing.
[–]Ohioho 5 points6 points7 points 15 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
even once it is a 100% sure thing, don't stop seducing your woman.
A little bit of mystery can go a long way in a relationship.
[–]lemisanthrope 1 point2 points3 points 15 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Having just been dumped by a girl I was madly in love with after four years together, I can confirm this. I got complacent and let her fall out of love. Never take a woman for granted.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 15 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I'm sorry dude, that sucks. Hope that it serves as a warning for other people, at least
[–]themysteriousfuture 0 points1 point2 points 15 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It's never a 100% sure thing. As soon as it is, it's over.
[–]nivar7 points 15 years ago* [recovered] (29 children) | Copy Link
can you point me in the right directions, what steps did you take? two months seems to me very short time to change life.
thanks.
[–][deleted] 12 points13 points14 points 15 years ago (28 children) | Copy Link
As usual:
For further information... check the main post at the sidebar
[–]brettrosey 8 points9 points10 points 15 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link
Basically change who you are entirely.
[–]Phillegard 7 points8 points9 points 15 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
lol It's funny because it's true
[–]yoshemitzu 1 point2 points3 points 15 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
If you disagree with the concept of changing one's self, you should probably not browse this subreddit, as a number of the users are, indeed, trying to make positive changes in their lives. For some of them, it means dramatic changes. But changing one's inner game, one's workout practices, and one's lifestyle doesn't change who you are as a person. If you actually believe that, I suspect there are some positive changes your life could use as well.
[–]brettrosey 1 point2 points3 points 15 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
I obviously have a different philosophy on seduction than you. Obviously looking the part is one thing, but you can't change your personality, you have to learn to work with it and emphasize the best parts.
I'm in a long term relationship and don't think I've personally ever experienced issues with seduction, but I do understand the psychology behind it and some of the philosophy's you guys own are conceivably a bit far-fetched.
[–]yoshemitzu 0 points1 point2 points 15 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I can understand where you're coming from re: changing you who are entirely. It's not just unfair to expect someone to transform themselves for affection, it's base and even carnal. But as the OP said, you don't get laid being a lazy nerd. You don't even meet women that way. So if you're sitting at home wishing you were getting laid (obviously not your position), the idea of making changes like interacting with people and using eye contact seems a little less base and unfair.
[–]onenifty 3 points4 points5 points 15 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
It's not changing who you are. It's making yourself better on all fronts.
[–]brettrosey 2 points3 points4 points 15 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
Better is a subjective term.
[–]onenifty 1 point2 points3 points 15 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Not exclusively. Some things are better than others. Being in shape is better than being out of shape, etc.
[–]moozilla 0 points1 point2 points 15 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It depends on what you are comparing to. Sure, if we were just saying "better off in general" it might be a subjective. However, I think the two most obvious interpretations of onenifty's statement are "better at picking up women" or "better suited for life."
In the first case I think it's pretty objective that these things can improve your ability to pickup women. In the second case, I also think it's pretty objective that going to the gym and improved social interactions would improve your quality of life.
What are you trying to say here?
[–]Killcharisma 0 points1 point2 points 15 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Everything is subjective.
[–]strongoaktree1 points 15 years ago [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
Keep telling yourself that. I've managed without a gym, but being a lazy nerd isn't attractive. Get a life
[–]brettrosey 2 points3 points4 points 15 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Coming from the guy who got his first kiss yesterday...you don't have much credibility giving advice.
[–]strongoaktree 1 point2 points3 points 15 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah, you got the wrong guy. My first kiss was a couple years ago.
[–][deleted] 15 years ago (13 children) | Copy Link
[permanently deleted]
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 15 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link
Are you trying to say that buying bigger pants because you have an ass like a Clydesdale isn't seductive?
[–][deleted] 15 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 15 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link
No, I'm just joking. Can't say no to squats though.
[–]edubation 0 points1 point2 points 15 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
Deadlifts rule the house too.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 15 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
I just hate doing deadlifts because I can't do >10 with 45s without hurting my back yet. /weakling.
[–]onenifty 1 point2 points3 points 15 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Hmm... I was a relative weakling when I started as well. How much do you weigh? I'm an average dude/average build and after a while I was up to 3 45s a side. Don't despair.
You say it hurts your back. I couldn't do much weight at all because I felt like my back was pinching somehow. I worked on my form and it went away no problem and I could start lifting proper weights.
Also, I agree with edubation. Do 3-5 and eat more.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 15 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
At this point I'm really reluctant to do freeweights of any kind. I really enjoy the play aspect of using a stability ball/medicine ball and using my own bodyweight to improve my strength.
[–]onenifty1 point 15 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
While that will work on stability, it won't do much of anything for your strength as compared to heavy lifting. Unless you have a medical problem with your back, you really shouldn't worry about your back while lifting if you keep proper form.
Don't worry about lifting freeweights. Sure, you might start off light but just get your form down and you will be surprised at how quickly your body will let you lift heavier and heavier weights.
[–][deleted]1 point 15 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
I'm reminded of the gym rat and the gymnast who both were moving furniture for a friend. The gym rat, while much larger and more muscular, was sweating and struggling with a couch. The gymnast, though small and lighter, was able to move faster and with a much higher degree of control for longer and without getting tired. He moved the couch while the rat took care of some boxes.
I just don't see how moving a huge amount of weight with one muscle in a single direction is useful.
[–]Killcharisma 1 point2 points3 points 15 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I'm not sure doing high rep deadlifts is a good idea. I would reccommend Mark Rippetoe's 'Starting Strength', check out the free wiki it has for information.
[–]edubation 0 points1 point2 points 15 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Are you doing them right?
It works the back, but its not a back movement. Its a hip and legs movement.
Also, try going in the 3-5 range, eating more, and doing them once a week.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 15 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
My form is fine at lower weights. I just need to get over the embarrassment of taking the 45s off the bar. Also I've been traveling for the past five months so I haven't been to the gym more than a few times.
[–]PuaKomrade2 points 15 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Rule 1 is to not give a damn about what anyone thinks of you.
[–]nivar1 point 15 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
yes. eye contact and smile is amazing, yep have seen the how touch magically change the peoples attitude in interaction.
thanks sir, glad to know that i am on the right path to the a better life.
[–]alkabitous 4 points5 points6 points 15 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
what did you practice for those 2 months?
[–]strongoaktree 2 points3 points4 points 15 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I got rid of my inhibitions.
Basically I fully committed to not giving a shit about what others thought in a social situation. After I did that, I applied a few theories and tricks in the PUA flipbook, and it was like flipping a switch.
A robot gaming switch. All of the sudden I was funny, cool, and popular after about 2-4 weeks of applying this kind of shit.
Basically, it comes down to this. Women are people. Don't consider gender when you talk to someone at all. Women just happen to be people you are sexually interested in.
You have to break down ALL barriers about women being better or worse socially. Walk around like you are entitled to me there. It sounds assholish, but why the fuck should you care?
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 15 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
Use a wingman/wingwoman until you're ready
[–]ChrisPWill 1 point2 points3 points 15 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Is there some resource/article/chapter of a book that gives good advice regarding wingmen/wingwomen? I've only ever heard "get a wingman" without telling me what the wingman should be doing.
I mean, I guess I could answer this myself by saying that a wingman should basically be picking up on the conversations when you run out of juice without dominating (in other words, acting as a support) but it seems to me that there may be more to it.
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 15 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link
It can be complicated but keep it simple: it should be a guy/girl who is more social and can introduce you to other people.
As your wing isn't hitting on your target (you will), it is way easier to introduce yourself, start a conversation and then switching to "do you know Chris?". Basically, let them do the introductions.
Before trying advanced techniques, learn how to approach people. First, let your wing do it, then switch sides and wing for him/her. Afterwards, the transition into "introducing yourself to your own target" will come naturally
[–]ChrisPWill 0 points1 point2 points 15 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Cheers, this makes so much more sense to me now than it did in the past. This, by far, seems to me like the most powerful technique of all: I mean, let's face it, the biggest obstacle is probably the approach - once rapport is established, it's easier to continue on. The rest can probably be learned naturally if need be.
Exactly. Try to find techniques which make your progression smoother, slower if you will, but that keep you advancing.
[–][deleted] 15 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 15 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It might help you to listen to David Wygant's man transformations. He had one really good exercise for anyone with serious AA: Observe your life for 5 days. For me I realized I wasn't leaving the house enough so I started pumping my area and just looking at other people. How they walked, how they moved, what they wore, how they carried themselves. A big part of it is taking in the "picture" of a person. There's an overall image they are presenting, and sometimes there are things about that image that stand out.
For example: on the train today I saw a man with an old business breifcase, worn slightly from age, a pair of casual dress shoes with an ornate pattern, a fine watch with no markings, a generic silver ring on his left ring finger (married), and what I thought was a freemason's ring on his right ring finger. He had jeans and a horizontal striped tshirt. He spoke with a jaw that made me think of the long term effects of skoal, but it could have been the way he was born.
We had a nice chat about the changes in his profession. He wished me luck on my adventure when he left.
The basic, and most important, points of seduction: LISTEN AND OBSERVE. This alone will give you everything you need to talk to anyone you want to talk to. Being present and letting yourself notice what people are giving you are the building blocks for everything else.
I would be flattered if you asked me questions, so if you have any please ask.
[–]anonymous_hero 1 point2 points3 points 15 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
I was totally scared shitless before my first day-approach in public.
I paced around for like 30 minutes before finally deciding I just fucking had to do it, and marched over to the store next door, and asked the cute sales clerk out :)
She had a boyfriend, but her reaction was very positive, which helped me feel good about the whole thing. Don't give up if you happen to encounter some mean bitch.
[–]Box-Monkey 0 points1 point2 points 15 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
I just kept laughing about how awkward it was going to be and how much I was going to crash and burn. Literally, I laughed out loud at it and thought about the possible funny stories that would come from it. I just kept thinking that I have nowhere to go, but up.
[–]anonymous_hero 2 points3 points4 points 15 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Sometimes I still end up kind of laughing nervously when approaching someone. I should probably stop doing that.. :p
That was a pretty good strategy with a touch of self-distraction though :)
[–]themysteriousfuture 0 points1 point2 points 15 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Stop doing that. Be confident. Which comes from being competent.
[–]anonymous_hero 0 points1 point2 points 15 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
You did notice I was aware I should stop doing that, right?
Reinforcing the point
[–]Tapeworm_in_penis 7 points8 points9 points 15 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
No it didn't. r/sedudction helped facilitate YOUR OWN change in life. You didn't become better because of r/seduction, but because you took control over life, and, more importantly, you stuck by it.
That being said, give something back to the community - give advice, post FR ect. By helping others you will also help yourself.
[–]tejmin 3 points4 points5 points 15 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Being the tapeworm_in_penis, normally I'd shy away from you. However, you've made an excellent point I'd like to touch on.
On of my buddies, J, and I used to have tons of classes together. Me, I got good grades in highschool because I'm smart. J, he got good grades in highschool because he worked hard at it. He wasn't a dummy, but often he'd have to have things reiterated to him a few times before it clicked, and the lightbulb went off. You could see it click every time too. So during school, I'd do my work, and show him how the things we were learning worked. During our study halls, our groups would sit there and do our work, and I'd help anyone that had questions. I just knew shit. Shit came to me. But I'll be damned if teaching/helping those kids didn't make me know it better.
By teaching someone, you have to be able to understand all aspects of the knowledge base in question, because there will be something that you'll be questioned on that you didn't think of off the bat. Teaching really gives that breadth and fullness to a subject. So yes, by helping others, you will really help yourself. I encourage those who are good at whatever they do to spread their knowledge. Knowledge, is motherfucking power.
[–]philosarapter 1 point2 points3 points 15 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Congratulations! Keep up the good work.
[–]longdongsilver 2 points3 points4 points 15 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
why thank you, kind sir.
[–]yanggmd 0 points1 point2 points 15 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Thanks for that. Glad it can get better. I've been stopping in every once in awhile. Last time I went out I bought 2 drinks and told my buddy to follow me over to a booth with 2 cute girls. We ended up partying the rest of the night even when their 4 friends showed up.
[–]OverseerEvolutionTheory 0 points1 point2 points 15 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Congratulations, but don't stop improving yourself and learning from your experiences. It is very likely this girl will not be your last. We'll be here for however long you need us now or in the future but just don't stop improving yourself!
[–]midknight_ninja 0 points1 point2 points 15 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
congratz! i am so happy for you. keep us updated when you start getting the super models! the sky is the limit!
[–]offshore_coppertop 0 points1 point2 points 15 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Cheers, man!!
Glad to hear you're having a good time :)
[–]takatori 0 points1 point2 points 15 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Me too! I used to get a lot of pussy too, but now I brag about it.
[–]strongoaktree-2 points 15 years ago* [recovered] (6 children) | Copy Link
Update, just woke up passed out in my bathtub with puke on the ground. Jesus Christ. I'd hav a FR if i could remember it. Girl in my bed. God damn what happened.
[–]Morpheotrinity 5 points6 points7 points 15 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
wat
[–]ChrisPWill 3 points4 points5 points 15 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I was impressed until I read this - seduction with alcoholic courage is not any mean feat in my books.
[–]strongoaktree 3 points4 points5 points 15 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
It was her 21st birthday.
Got invited after a bit of flirting on our university bus.
[–]Box-Monkey 0 points1 point2 points 15 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Solid.
[–]ChrisPWill -1 points0 points1 point 15 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
hmm, I still don't think you should be getting that drunk at all, but I guess it's a reasonable excuse ;)
[–]TheMeatball 0 points1 point2 points 15 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Uhh, is this a normal thing?
[+][deleted] -15 points-14 points-13 points 15 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link
That's great and all, but seriously, does anyone else subscribe to this reddit simply because of how hilariously creepy it is?
[–]RedErin 7 points8 points9 points 15 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I don't understand your question... I subscribed to seddit because I wanted to learn how to talk to people and be more social.
[–]lachumproyale1210 0 points1 point2 points 15 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
nope
[–]jkh77 0 points1 point2 points 15 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Just you, dude.
[–]sral760 points 15 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Yup. Right here. Cheers!
[–]exist2resist -2 points-1 points0 points 15 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
You have to understand that most people on here are socially retarded, and seddit aids them in becoming more confident and to initiate conversation with the opposite sex.
It's a tool like any other, and those who need it find it very useful.
[+][deleted] -6 points-5 points-4 points 15 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
I do understand that they are socially retarded, and that is precisely what is so amusing. They will eat up any amount of ridiculous, painfully obvious, or just plain bad advice that might finally get them off their asses and out into the world where they might, gasp finally try talking to girls.
And then they circlejerk each other when they finally bag a fat chick.
[–]Box-Monkey 0 points1 point2 points 15 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Exactly right. You got us spot on. Say hello to your ugly, dominating wife/gf for me.
That's the ridiculous thing, you guys honestly think you know something the rest of us don't. Did it ever occur to you that someone could be a successful player without reading about it on the internet?
Does the thought make you self-conscious or something? Why else would you convince yourself that everyone not on "seddit" is being tooled around by bitches.
then again, this is reddit, and knowing what the typical reddit user is like, i can't blame you.
Meh. It was more just a cheap attack back at you. Didn't feel like refraining. Though, we do realize that there are naturals out there. I am a natural, actually. I just like to analyze things and see the breakdown - especially when it both makes perfect sense, and enhances my ability. PU theory actually comes from both trial and error, and watching natural's at work, btw.
[–]exist2resist 0 points1 point2 points 15 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Ha ha ha ha, but fat chicks need loving too.
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