I debated writing this because I feel embarrassed to admit that I'm this old and have not kissed a girl before (until tonight - booya!), but I thought it might lend hope to certain folks who read this sub. There's hope. It's doable.

I'm almost 26. Have always been somewhat nerdy, but not cripplingly-so. I don't know wtf is the issue, but it's probably a combo of late bloomer, religion I've mostly renounced, skinniness, nerdy interests, social circle, maybe some minor undiagnosed depression/social anxiety, but I've not kissed a girl and am still a virgin. How did I miss those spin-the-bottle middle school parties? Dunno. I've had a habit of avoiding uncomfortable situations until now.

I've mostly always had friends who were also pretty socially awkward, so few female friends, and few guys willing to go party and try to hook up to learn from (or make mistakes with). Just a bunch of apathetic AFC guys like me. For a while, I was of the romance movie philosophy that the right girl would come along via fate or some bs. FUCKTHAT. It enabled my apathy.

A year ago, I came upon some pickup material and started reading and absorbing a lot of different stuff. I really re-adjusted my philosophy on social dynamics and women. Enter: clothes style changes, hair changes that honestly do support my personality, some weight lifting that doesn't show through my shirt yet but makes me feel good, working on looking at people in the eye when I talk to them, saying salacious things to the office cougar when she walks by and makes silly comments, attempting to small-talk with strangers, online dating finding out what messages inspire girls to keep talking with me, speaking proudly about what I'm interested in instead of being shy and semi-apologetic, meeting a few girls off online dating that go nowhere but getting used to meeting people and doing the dating thing, getting drunk and dancing like an idiot at a bar and actually having a few girls gravitate to me, ETC. Inner game, practice, rejection, out of my shell, life experience, etc. I am SUCH a cooler person now. Inside, outside.

This last month, something about my online profile words and photos and what I've been spitting at girls online has been hooking, so I've been juggling seeing two girls, plus being social with an old friend's sister's friends. Never been this busy with women, and the mentality that if one girl does not go well, there is the other, PLUS potential online chicks I can pull more regularly has been awesome for my attitude when interacting with them. I sit back, relax, take up space, tease a bit, am (not ACT) not clingy/supplicating. If they don't like what I'm putting out there, it's not a big loss to me. Pulled a number recently in a bar that didn't go anywhere, but at least I know I can pull numbers.

I met one of two girls I've recently met offline for the second time tonight. We met up for drinks. I couldn't manage a corner seat at this pub, so we were kinda doing this across the table interview thing again which was unfortunate for kino. We had a couple beers and she got tipsy. She was saying something about she drinks fast when she's nervous, so I said, "aww that's sweet that I make you nervous. Why is that?" She says, "Well I think you're cute and really cool. I wish I didn't just say that!" and was covering her face with her shirt. From things I know about her, she is intimidating to ME in the sexual and life experience area (I've had sheltered life compared to her)...not that I've let that be known. I just played that cool with solid eye contact. She asked me once about experiences with exes, and being that I have none, I just said, "I'm not going to talk about that tonight" and smiled. We moved on without incident.

Near the end of the date, I got up to use the bathroom. When I washed my hands, the water was ICE cold. So after drying, I walked back to her, sat down and said, "They're pouring ice-water through the faucets back there! Give me your hands." So I took her hands in mine across the table for a moment, gave them a squeeze and rub, looked in the eyes and said thanks now my hands are warm. Finally some fucking touch other than the initial hug when she walked in. It was a bit unnecessary/forward/obvious in a good way.

Time to walk out. Her car is parked on the other side of the parking lot so I walked with her to it along with some lame smalltalk about the car she drives. I put my arm around her as we walked and she did so to me. On my way to her car, I'm thinking, "ok time to kiss...not that complicated....what am I gonna say????omfg". We get to her car door, she turns around, I just say, "I'm gonna kiss you now." I just decided on that because I had no clever moves ready and that seemed pretty alpha, plus from her being all shy and shit, seemed like the kiss was an obvious thing we were walking towards. I leaned in, and it was just a quick 3-5 second kiss and I pulled away partly because I didn't want to push my luck and partly because I know it's good to be the one ending things. It was easier than expected. She tasted good. I should do this more often.

Milestone reached huzzah. Next.

Had a bit of a sexy text convo after returning home about the flavor of her lips and if any other areas tasted like that ;) Pretty sure the kiss was appreciated.

I'll see her again, I'm sure. However, next I have the other girl coming to my place where I'm gonna cook a meal with her, drink wine, and watch a movie with her. Seems a solid situation for k-close and maybe f-close yeah! I like both these girls.

tldr: Awkward, mid-twenties no-kisses AFC took a year to adjust himself, finally figuring out some moves and attitudes that demonstrate his attractiveness enough to get dates and kisses.

edit: cut some stuff because this was way too long.