What to do in the seconds after you're denied a kiss?

intjpua · 2011-04-14T17:49:14+00:00

"No? OK." with a smirk...then change the subject. It's only a big deal if you make it a big deal.

bangthemermaid · 2011-04-14T16:43:49+00:00

smile at her, go down a notch, keep going. don't make it a big deal.

2011-04-14T19:23:55+00:00

[permanently deleted]

holycrapbatman · 2011-04-14T16:21:19+00:00

Last time it happened to me, without kino or IOI, I announced that I wanted to get to know her better, pressed my lips to hers, kissed a fish, and she looked mortified. I said sorry and promised that I would not be like that again and hope we can still be friends. I then excused myself to brush my teeth as I had a test the next day and was supposed to have studied tonight. She asked if she could sleep in my bed. I got down to my undies and followed her up to my loft. She didn't expect there to be condoms. I had sex every day for almost 2 years afterwords.

sockthepuppetry · 2011-04-14T17:55:41+00:00

This happened to me. She was younger (19) and I kissed her in the elevator at my place. She seemed afraid and I pulled back. "I just thought we were going to hang out." I said nothing, smiled, looked at her. "That's ok," I said.

We went to my apartment and put on a movie. Her feet were propped up on a stool and mine were too, in contact with hers. I put my hand in her hand, later making small caressing motions. I leaned in for the kiss, she was ready.

Lesson learned: all paths from A to B are not created equal. If she rejects a kiss, just be cool with it, make sure she knows there's no pressure, she just needs a better moment.

*In hindsight, the fact that she didn't just go home after she had seen my intentions should be the obvious sign that while she might not be consciously aware of it, in her gut she was ready. All you have to do is be strong enough to guide her through that journey.

EDIT: Actually, generalize that. Excepting shit tests like, "can you take our picture", just be cool with whatever happens. Be nonreactive.

thesacred · 2011-04-14T22:11:36+00:00

your not supposed

:(

2011-04-15T01:40:59+00:00

So let's say you've been getting IOIs so you go in for that initial kiss and she pulls back?

If this is a recurring problem, post an FR and get some feedback.

acartoontiger · 2011-04-14T16:59:13+00:00

Good question, if she just pulls back without saying anything then smile and back it up a little bit. People underestimate the power of smiling. If you want to say something to recover quickly and change the dynamic I would go with something along the lines of:

"Ah lets think about that later, come with me I want to show you [next topic of conversation]"

senator_mendoza · 2011-04-14T17:22:50+00:00

in my experience they'll always offer some kinda excuse like "i just met you" or "whoa slow down" or "sorry not now" or "i don't kiss men in bars" or "my friends are right there" or SOMETHING. so just say ok and shrug it off. it doesn't mean she doesn't wanna kiss you, just that she doesn't want to at that specific moment. so if you feel another good opportunity then swing away. if she in fact specifically DOESN'T wanna kiss you then you'll know after your first attempt.

frogma · 2011-04-14T18:29:10+00:00

Laugh and walk away- then go back later and keep doing what you were doing. Or laugh and change the subject. Or just laugh and let her say something, then go from there depending on what she says.

The important thing is that you keep assuming attraction regardless- just handle it with that frame and know you can re-escalate later. Don't apologize unless your apology hints that you're not actually sorry- or do what holycrapbatman did and imply you'd like to be friends (if you do that the right way, you're disqualifying, and she'll want you more).

2011-04-14T21:27:07+00:00

Chloroform!

SilverBack_Ace · 2011-04-14T19:06:04+00:00

This happened to me last week... twice, two different women both are trying to date me now. Happened to me a month ago... she just called and is coming over at 6.

I like this question because I used to apologize too, and know the feelings that make you want to but really when you think about it for what? being a man?, having a sexy friend? As long as you can control yourself the action is respected.

The standard of a gentleman still applies, the limits are just a lot higher than you think.

heckz · 2011-04-14T20:15:10+00:00

Two steps forwwards, one back. Trying a kiss almost always increases her attraction. This happened to me and I turned it on her saying "why are you trying to kiss me and I'm not easy". Then just be unphasex about it and go back to flirting. She amped up her iois and kino after that and kissed me later.

screwthat4u · 2011-04-15T02:16:03+00:00

Act like it doesnt bother you at all. If you are no longer having fun because of it, I'd end the interaction instead of lowering your value sitting there with a girl who isnt sure what she wants.

2011-04-14T17:39:34+00:00

[permanently deleted]

daygamer · 2011-04-14T23:16:57+00:00

My reaction when this happened on a day2 the other week was, "What, seriously?". Better than looking heartbroken, but probably not as good as carrying on like nothing happened.

Kulikant · 2011-04-14T22:43:46+00:00

Apologise and beg for forgiveness.

Title	What to do in the seconds after you're denied a kiss?
Author	moretigerbloodplease
Upvotes	22
Comments	26
Date	April 14, 2011 3:41 PM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/gpz6l/what_to_do_in_the_seconds_after_youre_denied_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/what-to-do-in-the-seconds-after-youre-denied-a.1317391 https://theredarchive.com/post/1317391

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