I hardly feel qualified to be talking about this, but I think these are worth sharing with you guys. They are ways that my thoughts have changed over the past few years.

Would love to hear your suggestions, or epiphanies that you've had.

"I need to get a cute girl so I can be happy"

"I need to be happier, then I can share this happiness with cute girls"

So important. If you haven't grasped this concept - this is all you need to learn. A girl can't make you happy. A girl can multiply your happiness, but she can also multiply your insecurity. Get your shit together, learn to be happy with yourself, then start thinking about how you can bring girls into your awesome new world.

Edit: puzzlecracker suggested that "I need to" would be better replaced with "I choose to"

"Girls want rich, successful, attractive guys."

"Girls want guys who are happy with who they are. Often those guys go on to be more successful, and tend to care more about their style."

This is a bit controversial, but I think that success and attractiveness go hand in hand with attitude on life. Plus, anybody can hugely improve their attractiveness just by dressing well, working out and getting a hair cut. Not instantly - your style is something you'll have to work on over time. But the simple fact that you're taking action to continuously improve yourself is attractive in itself.

"So, what if I get rejected?"

"So what if I get rejected."

Granted, it's difficult to simply 'not care' about getting rejected. But really, seriously, think about the worst that could happen. A slap from a girl you'll never see again? That would be a fun story to tell. A bunch of people laugh at you? Unlikely, others are jealous of your huge balls of steel and lamenting that they couldn't do the same. Now think about the best that could happen.

"How can I possibly talk to that cute girl?"

"How can I possibly pass up this opportunity to talk to that cute girl?"

This is one I still struggle with. Having this mindset can be painful, because every time you pussy out it feels like a part of you died. "How can I possibly talk to that cute girl?" however is just an excuse that your mind creates to rationalise not taking action.

"I hope she doesn't think I'm hitting on her"

"I hope she knows I'm attracted to her"

Guys, I have lost SO MANY opportunities because I didn't know the girl was into me, and she didn't show it because she didn't know I was into her! Kino!

"Oh shit, a question, is this a test? Shit, how do I answer… Just be polite..."

"I like your boots! Where'd you get them?"

You don't need to reply to every question. A conversation doesn't have to be question, answer, question, answer. If you think of something cool, bring it up. Outside of deep, meaningful conversations most people just ask questions to fill conversation anyway, they don't really care about your answer.

"Does she like me?"

"Do I like her?"

WHO CARES if she likes you. Don't decide for her. You need to think about whether you like her. Every time you find yourself asking "Does she like me?", think to yourself "If I knew without a doubt that she was totally into me, what would I do?". Then do that. Assume Attraction.

"I need to read /r/seduction more so that I can be prepared for every awkward situation"

"I need to get myself into more awkward situations so that I can understand what those guys at /r/seduction are talking about"

Reading is knowledge, and knowledge is power. Except in this case - where knowledge makes you think too much. Instead of enjoying the moment - the pure interaction between two humans - you're in your head wondering whether you're doing everything right. Throw all that stuff out. A lot of it applies only to the person giving the advice, resulting in conflicting advice causing http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_dissonance. Once you've got a benchmark to apply, you can choose the advice that you think suits your style. That said, everything on this page is the absolute truth >:)

"I need to work out how to avoid rejection"

"I need to put myself in more situations where I could get rejected"

If you're constantly worried about getting rejected, you'll avoid the boundaries. Push the boundaries. Don't ever force a girl to do anything she doesn't want to, but let her decide by making yourself the one vulnerable to rejection. The only way you can learn how to get rejected less is by getting rejected! Work out what works and what doesn't - its different for everyone.

EDIT: Jeebus! Wasn't expecting front page! Glad you guys found it useful. Here are some bonus extras:

"What do I say next?"

""

Yes, that was intentionally left blank. When you're truly in the moment, funny, witty stuff just pops into your mouth and you say it before even thinking it. Getting to be 'in the moment' is hard; you have to be completely comfortable in your environment and with yourself. I struggle to get into it, but when you get there it feels oh so great, especially for an ex-SAP like myself. I've found meditation/relaxation can help sometimes. Other than that, you just have to put yourself into uncomfortable situations until they become comfortable.

"What do I do to make this girl attracted to me?"

"What can I improve to make myself more attractive?"

Focussing on trying to get one girl, while it may seem at first noble/loyal, often works against you. When you worry so much about whether this one girl will like you, it makes the whole situation more stressful. Work on yourself, and the rest will happen naturally. You can be noble and loyal when you've got the girl if you want.

"If I can just [be good with girls/get this job/own this car/have sex/move to europe] I'll be happy."

"If I can just improve this [small thing], I can focus on improving another thing."

One thing I've learned is that no matter where you are in life, or what you have - there is always another step. "Getting things" only results in temporary happiness. Small incremental changes that change for the better who you are as a person gives you progress to look back on. If you're happy with what you have and you're always improving, you only have even better things to look forward to. For the mathematically inclined - benchmark yourself on f'(t) instead of f(t), where f(t) is your life.

"I just got rejected. How shameful, I hope nobody was watching."

"I just got rejected. That means I pushed my boundaries, and learned something. Self-high-five"

Maybe people were watching. Maybe they were even your friends. Maybe they are going to tease you about it. Maybe they will make your life hell. Maybe they won't be friends with you anymore because you took a fucking chance and did what you wanted to do, instead of conforming to 'normal'. Maybe you should get new friends.

Or, maybe they were just a stranger who will forget about you the moment they walk by.