Why the fuck is it so hard?

sorgenvind · 2012-08-04T09:33:55+00:00

And I talked to maybe 10 girls tonight. Useless

So talk to 100 girls. If that doesn't work talk to 1000 girls. You will get smoother and smoother and you will cease giving much of a shit about any given situation which is 99% of it.

You have to understand that the OVERWHELMING proportion of PUA is just a numbers game. If you play ten hands of poker, you have no way of knowing whether your strategy is good or bad because of statistical variance. 100 hands, your strategy may be beginning to show but again could still be buried by a bad run. 1000 hands, now you're getting somewhere and good strategy will show.

I'm convinced that PUA is essentially a con job-- it's getting guys out there talking to women, some of whom will naturally say yes, and on top of that there is maybe a 1% or 2% advantage. Plus, again, you get smoother and smoother at approaches.

It's confirmation bias. They're getting guys out there and talking to 1000 women a month, and suddenly the guys are getting laid with the 5-10 women a month who say yes, and therefore PUA must be magic.

Over time you'll also sort of learn how to "operate" women. You'll learn how to get them to do what you want. They call this "game" and they sell seminar bullshit but really it's just learning how to deal with them. You want the ones who are susceptible to what you're throwing out there. Don't waste time with the ones who aren't and if they say no, don't dwell on it, just get out there and talk to 100 more women.

On top of that, PUA is getting so common now among club guidos and trash like that, that the natural approach is becoming more attractive. If you show up at a nightspot wearing some ridiculous hat you're going to get laughed out of town by strippers who know exactly who Mystery is and get hit on by wannabe PUAs 10 times a day.

He_Went_To_Jared · 2012-08-04T07:57:03+00:00

Bah... I'm 20. Got laid once when I was 18, haven't even kissed a girl since. I've never been fat, and recently I've gotten pretty fucking jacked. I'm quiet as a clam and I've never been on a legitimate date with a girl. You have nothing to bitch about. My social anxiety is so crippling I maybe leave the house once every 5 days or so (aside from the gym or the store, I have next to no social life). I would kill to have what you have. There is always room for improvement, and I wish you luck, but give yourself a pat on the back for what you have accomplished, many of us have achieved far less.

ejpusa · 2012-08-04T10:38:17+00:00

It may sound cheesy, but pickup the Power of Now by Eckhart. Sounds like you may need to re/boot your life. Talk to a 1000 girls? Ouch. That is just a bit crazy. There is way more to live then that, there really is. [IMHO].

Dildo___Baggins · 2012-08-04T18:57:16+00:00

People judge based off your aesthetics- you can't blame them, it's their first impression. You shouldn't be worried about how other people see you, but you should be aware of it.

Before you were good looking, you had to prove your worth to women. You had to say 'you know, I look ugly sure. But I'm a great person and you deserve a guy like me.'

Now that you're good looking, you have the same problem. You have to say 'I know I look like a douche, but deep down I still have substance.'

This is the problem with worrying about your appearance... Whether you're good looking or bad looking, worrying about it never ends. Just let go of your attachments to what others think of you. You don't need social validation from others- the only validation you need comes from within. You're a great person and that's all you need to be happy.

Sorry this was weirdly worded, but hopefully those that need it can glean a valuable lesson from this comment.

JimmyNic · 2012-08-04T12:34:44+00:00

Life is supposed to be a struggle. Once you accept this hardship loses its power over you. Don't let yourself get soft and waste your life.

I need to remind myself of this more often.

Bout_It_Bout_It · 2012-08-04T07:54:08+00:00

It almost certain you will feel different tomorrow. This feeling will pass. And what are you in pick up for? To me, as long as you get over the hump of approaching and start to enjoy it, then you have succeeded. You will have fun even if you get blown out.

Also, if it gets tedious, change the way you operate. Scene, setting, method, whatever. Have fun with it. You will never get every girl you go for, but you can get comfortable enough to potentially get every available girl.

phungus_mungus · 2012-08-04T07:57:59+00:00

Clearly you are upset and you talked to 10 or so girls in one night. I;m sure the frustration was building and was probably obvious to them.

Icemahn · 2012-08-04T07:59:55+00:00

Ebbs and flows; keep sarging through it.

Lovvel · 2012-08-04T12:30:27+00:00

The key thing you should look at is you realising this is the best you've ever looked in your life. After two years, you have laid quite a few girls, look great and I'm sure you're more charming than 90%% of guys. That is a incredible achievement in two years. You've lost weight, improved your life, and you are a much better person for it. Concentrate on that, not a nights worth of rejections.

paulgualtieri · 2012-08-04T08:23:11+00:00

My apologies for whining so much in the original post. I shouldn't complain. Just was feeling a little pissed off (and drunk) and the time. ;)

Thanks for the moral support, gents. I'm sure we all feel like this sometimes, no matter how good we are.

magicroot75 · 2012-08-04T14:07:01+00:00

This is my mode of thinking almost every time I leave almost a venue, day or night. There are a few exceptions. I think the problem we have is the failure to see opportunities. There are girls out there interested in us. Accept that now. You just think interest looks different than it really does. Looking back at my near 1.5 years of "game" I can see that I've given up or not acted on many opportunities. If you don't act, she almost never will. And if she does, she's in charge, and that usually feels shitty anyways. Act. I just got my first k-closes ever (I'm 23) this past weekend because I was on vacation and decided it was fun time. I could have gone in for it many times over the years, but I didn't. Act.

BeardedBandit · 2012-08-04T17:36:54+00:00

This reminds me of something I heard once

You can't control the direction of the wind, but you can set your sail and control your rudder.

paulgualtieri · 2012-08-04T08:30:55+00:00

[permanently deleted]

europereddit · 2012-08-04T12:04:23+00:00

Im actually frustrated because its so EASY yet I still can't pull it off.

Xstream2 · 2012-08-04T20:23:27+00:00

I've been into it for about a year and I've made WAY more progress in the past couple months than in the past 12... the reason why is because I GO OUT ALL THE TIME NOW... if you only go out once a week then you won't be getting nearly enough experience, GO OUT MORE

Kurjuns · 2012-08-04T21:00:23+00:00

You should at least be happy about the fact that you are already able to leave the house on your own and talk to any girls.

i for myself would really like to have some1 to go out with since a wingmate reduces my social anxiety alot but i dont know anybody who would go out with me (because of the SA ive never had any big friends or stuff like that)

I hate being in clubs or bars or anything like that, i don't like the loud music and i can't think about talking to a woman there and i bet im not the only one here.

So do the best you can and just keep on going.

im a bit jealous.

iznou · 2012-08-04T22:54:34+00:00

I've had this problem. The trick is to talk to women like normal human beings.

Estatunaweena · 2012-08-05T00:30:40+00:00

Looks aren't everything although they help. Work on inner game.

Supajin · 2012-08-05T01:44:13+00:00

Can you give the dialogue of those 10 interactions?

orgzmtron · 2012-08-05T02:09:00+00:00

uh man... i think you need something else in your life, like a hobby.

you know how all the chicks always fall for the artistic dudes? that's because their lives are fulfilled. they are focusing on other stuff besides chicks and then they don't seem eager.

loosen up a bit on the chicks. i have a feeling you only worked out cause you wanted women's attention. and trust me, women don't care about looks as much as we do. they are more into talking skills. chubby but funny guys can probably score more than ripped dudes who have nothing to say.

in my case, as soon as i start worrying about my looks, my success deflates to 0 as does my confidence. so forget about your looks and start chatting funny shit to the chicks!

drumdance · 2012-08-05T02:09:49+00:00

One potential thing to investigate if you get blown out a lot is... is it possible you had bad breath during those times?

No shame if you do -- I get it every now and then -- but it's mystifying because no one will tell you out of politeness. They'll just keep their distance and look for a chance to bail.

There is a solution: a tongue scraper. I bought one a couple years ago and it makes a huge difference.

dantaeos · 2012-08-05T06:31:00+00:00

Lol. You talked to ten girls. That's the warmup kiddo.

Watch the latest vids on rsdfreetour particularly this one http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fbfFLt1a8Dk

Also stop thinking your looks matter at all. They dont. Girls want a guy who can talk they're asses off and provide a good time. Not just look pretty.

Graviteh · 2012-08-04T16:33:59+00:00

"Why the fuck is it so hard?"

thats what she said

throwawayrant12 · 2012-08-05T08:08:46+00:00

american women enjoy turning straight men into gay men; it's a sliding scale, and they try their hardest. blame it on modern feminism, it's a disease that only grows. the only cure is money; flash the cash and they sit up like lapdogs, fucking cute retards. This is also why gender 'financial equality in the workplace' is ultimately bad for society. i got no problem with gay people, but i sure don't want to be one, so i would prefer for the strongest female attractor to males to remain in place. of course who the fuck cares what i think, society does as it pleases, and i can also outearn the next guy or girl - for now.

Title	Why the fuck is it so hard?
Author	paulgualtieri
Upvotes	24
Comments	54
Date	August 4, 2012 7:19 AM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/xnvr7/why_the_fuck_is_it_so_hard/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/why-the-fuck-is-it-so-hard.1336769 https://theredarchive.com/post/1336769

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