A woman can't make you happy. Only you can.

nosleepatall · 2013-10-26T21:48:09+00:00

On the other hand, never forget that she can make you unhappy. Don't settle for a relationship just because you can have it. Being with the wrong woman can open you to a world of drama and emotional drain that makes you miserable and costs you way more than you will ever receive. Yes, sex included. It simply isn't worth it.

HappyJerk · 2013-10-26T20:27:07+00:00

When you're in the depths of oneitis, its hard to think that you can be happy without another person. But you have to BELIEVE!

SecularSamurai · 2013-10-27T00:41:59+00:00

Thank you for reminding me of this, I was really in a dark place and needed to hear this.

Ironic isn't it? That the ones who take life the most seriously are the ones most likely to end it prematurely.

mnibah · 2013-10-27T03:36:21+00:00

alright, I am in a cynical mood today so here come the down votes. I gotta be honest and say I think you've overstated it a bit.

The reason why people are here on Seddit is that we know relationships have something to offer- on top of being single.

I get that we need to be our own selves sufficiently but let's not pretend like we can feel totally whole and fulfilled being single to a point where we do not desire to have another person in our lives.

This whole idea of perfect singles making perfect couples just perpetuates the dogmatic societal hierarchy- that if a person is coupled, than that person should thus be a better, higher quality human being.

People end up marrying up so they can do this: http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-1nrB4JF-WvY/UmbGj0JbWkI/AAAAAAAAZOE/8Zn1FgeUwXk/s1600/the+perks+of+being+married+by+alec+baldwin+dr+heckle+funny+wtf+celebrity+memes.jpg

What happened to just wanting to be with someone because we just want to?

MCMXChris · 2013-10-26T20:31:03+00:00

I'm trying to think like this. But I'm coming up on 23 without ever having so much as an intimate hug from a girl. And until I jump this hurdle, I'm just not able to function

15ykoh · 2013-10-26T19:57:24+00:00

I enjoy the wisdom. I've heard someone say that there's no girl that can make you better, or want a miserable human being as their date. Improve yourself, make your excess in happiness the happiness of others.

Randall_Hickey · 2013-10-27T04:59:04+00:00

I know this in my head, just can't seem to get my feelings to agree with it

nobody2000 · 2013-10-26T23:16:13+00:00

As a corollary:

I wrote this piece which served as my 'aha' moment which finally got rid of the AFC in me.

It's funny how you're bombarded with advice - GOOD advice - and it takes a stupid experience for it to click. It's been over a year since I wrote that, and I've built up this sense of "invincibility" ever since.

Jonoczall · 2013-10-26T21:43:16+00:00

So true. Interestingly enough I'm enjoying the single life so much right now, that the thought of a relationship makes me cringe slightly on the inside. I never dreamed I would reach this place of independence.

votemein · 2013-10-26T23:07:03+00:00

You can give to others without asking anything in return.

While this is good advice, and I myself do seem to enjoy giving more than receiving. I'd just like to point out that if you're the only one giving it can become quite taxing. I've been with current girlfriend nearly a year and things have gotten to the stage where she won't give ever. Our relationship is heading south and I'll probably break up with her in the next couple of weeks if things don't start to change.

zfolwick · 2013-10-27T01:18:23+00:00

Can't make you happy... but they sure as hell can make you sad (newly single... again)

zzonked7 · 2013-10-27T14:55:20+00:00

I lay awake last night thinking something similar to this. Humans are incomplete beings. This incompleteness is intentional and it's there to makke us strive for a better life. One thing we look to make us complete is a relationship, but in reality nothing can make you complete. In fact the only way you can complete yourself is to realize that you will never be complete and just live right in the exact moment you're in. Sorry if that sounds pretentious/lame.

locotx · 2013-10-27T15:58:58+00:00

Agree . . if you don't love you, how can someone else love you? if you don't think you are a fuckable, how can you expect another woman think so? if you don't think you are bad ass, how can another woman think you are bad ass? Your attitude should portray confidence with or without a woman. I will tell you a secret . . all women are BUSY and EMOTIONAL TIRED at all times . . yes . . and for you to add "your happiness" as another chore to their list of responsibilities is not something they desire. This is another reason why douchebag guys score, because a woman has no investment in the thing and she can relax and just have fun. This is the definition of you are "smothering" me, which is just a nice way of saying "I got too much shit in my life right now, I don't need your shit as well". Take it for what it's worth, but this knowledge should change your attitude and help in your close.

2013-10-27T01:55:52+00:00

Why not both? I was happy before dating, but now my girlfriend has made me more happy then I ever knew I could be.

perae · 2013-10-28T21:00:56+00:00

This thread is so important for me right now. Thanks guys. I've been in an emotional drain for the last 4 weeks. My relationship is killing me and I'm sticking in it for all the wrong reasons.

I've been a bitch for the last few weeks and am frankly ashamed of myself. For the last week I've been thinking about breaking up and moving on in my life, but I've always managed to find some excuse for me to stick with this. This day in particular I've felt strong about my decision to let it go and I think I've finally come to a point where I can do the thing I've been thinking about for a while, but never been able to do. Thank you.

KingGorilla · 2013-10-26T22:22:52+00:00

The title alone could be a masturbation joke

pschr · 2013-10-26T19:45:01+00:00

I agree. Upvote for you, mate.

oliver_tate · 2013-10-26T20:39:53+00:00

Great reminder, thanks.

rog3r · 2013-10-26T21:15:43+00:00

how can I make me happy?

babytank · 2013-10-26T23:04:59+00:00

She may not be able to be happy, but she can sure make you depressed.

Newenergy253 · 2013-10-27T02:33:25+00:00

This is good

2013-10-27T03:04:15+00:00

Help me be like this bro

Speedtarzanjujitsu · 2013-10-27T06:24:24+00:00

Ow, the feels!

tekdebaley · 2013-10-27T07:49:18+00:00

Great post ,for the first of the day. I am reading all the comments.We have to harvest the power from within bros, I'm not saying it's easy.If we believe in ourselves things come assured.The best time to get a girlfriend is when you don't need one.

dunngr1972 · 2013-10-27T10:37:44+00:00

True, but the right one can make you completely miserable. So choose wisely.

Scoolscks · 2013-10-28T02:52:58+00:00

Love this dude.

beardedwarrior85 · 2013-10-29T03:23:39+00:00

I can't agre with this more. I just got out of a relationship in which she nearly demanded that I create happiness in her life. Everything that brought down her happiness was my fault...even if I was not the cause then it was my fault for not fixing her lack of happiness. Her illusions of what relationships are "suppose to be like" didn't allow for us to build and experience our own relationship. Being single has allowed me to center myself and become more mentally aware of what I want in life and in a relationship. It's not a bad thing and has, in fact, put me in a place where I am mentally at peace for the first time in a while.

2013-10-29T14:55:13+00:00

A woman can't make me happy, but good friends definitely make my life happier.

spawnsage · 2013-12-01T19:22:33+00:00

That's why I masturbate

jackmedium29 · 2013-10-27T01:12:24+00:00

While I agree that you are pesonally responsible for your own happiness, saying a woman can't make you happy is wrong. Relationships and love is the best indicator of happiness:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/08/11/how-this-harvard-psycholo_n_3727229.html?utm_hp_ref=third-metric

urmyfavoritecustomer · 2013-10-26T23:13:07+00:00

True, a woman cannot make you happy. I've found I'm happiest juggling 3, any more gets burdensome and any less gets too intimate.

imjp · 2013-10-26T20:42:42+00:00

Solid advice.

Mouthpiece · 2013-10-26T21:20:13+00:00

Happiness is a cause, not an effect.

2013-10-27T08:28:22+00:00

I might just be in the wrong subreddit, but I found a woman and she made me incredibly happy. No need for sweeping generalisations.

2013-10-27T00:51:49+00:00

no shit sherlock

porkytheporkdog · 2013-10-26T21:13:47+00:00

[permanently deleted]

nomis_nehc · 2013-10-26T22:49:42+00:00

Lulz, no.

Psychological-Grab19 · 2022-07-12T05:27:34+00:00

this is utter stupidly nonsense women can make you happy and with compassion how cruel can you be?

Title	A woman can't make you happy. Only you can.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	681
Comments	79
Date	October 26, 2013 7:39 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1p9sem/a_woman_cant_make_you_happy_only_you_can/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/a-woman-cant-make-you-happy-only-you-can.1360529 https://theredarchive.com/post/1360529

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