Men 21+ how to keep up with your dating life when you work 50 hours a week

PM_FOR_PUA_ADVICE · 2016-03-12T19:47:36+00:00

I talk to 3 girls on my way to work. I talk to 3 girls on my way home, passing through town center and stopping by a grocery store for a drink, a coffee shop, or even the mall. If you take the bus instead of driving, you could talk to one girl at the bus stop, and one girl on the bus.

I have met my ex on the bus, simply turned back and mumbled a melody and asked her help for identifying what song it was, conversation followed and exchange of numbers happened. It's easy IF you put yourself in situations where you could approach woman without appearing threatening/sleazy/playerish (like after hours bars etc..) Most women will notice that a guy going to bars on week days doesn't have his life in order. So daygame rules apply.

If your game isn't great yet, you should commit to going out two nights every weekend and just practice at night clubs without expectations or neediness. On the first weeks I actually started going out to bars, alone, to learn pick up (despite not being able to pick any girl up, mind you) I have talked to more than 1000 women. After that, going up to a cute girl at the coffee house or the supermarket was like breathing or walking, no stress. Coz nightclubs are fucking stressful for me! :p

random_a · 2016-03-12T18:09:48+00:00

Similar problem except with something alike to grad school in a very demanding subject where I have to put in LOTS of hours in my free time to preform well. I would love some good advice on this because right now I have unconsistent periods where:

1) I have a drive to improve myself socially, I go out, try to meet new people and so on. In these periods my academic performance suffers hard because I just can't find the energy to do it consistently. These periods are often very short

2) I focus very deeply on my academic performance, but in these periods I don't feel like going out nor do I have the time. These are often much longer.

What do I want? I want to do both, to keep consistently pursuing my interest but also improve myself as a person and have a good social life with many women in it. I'm really struggling with this and only recognized this pattern recently. I really hope to find a way to combine both of my goals.

ThrowawayPUA · 2016-03-12T18:05:12+00:00

I suggest you find balance in your life. What are you working for?

vrrrr · 2016-03-12T19:22:04+00:00

I've never had to force myself. If anything, the more I work, the more I need to go out and have fun.

fks_phobos · 2016-03-12T22:12:14+00:00

I work 50 hours a week. Sunday - friday 1.30pm to 10 pm. I also go to school full time. 9am to 1pm monday- friday. For me? I put my self in situations where i can talk to girls. Whats that you say? I have an hour break for lunch today? Well in that case im gunna go into a small bagel shop. Or im gunna go get food at that really popular deli. I NEVER go through the drive through. Oh whats that you say? Todays Saturday and i have nothing to do? Well im not gunna sit at home and play video games thats for sure. Im gunna go to the mall. I could use a new hat. Oh? Todays friday? I have no plans after work? Well shit. I could really use a drink. Dont make excuses. Get out there. Put your self in situations you can engage in a conversation. Working 50 hours a week is holing you back? Really? You shouldnt have to push your self to go out. You should WANT to go out. Im moving from 9am to 10pm monday - friday and i find time to meet people. You should definitely be able to.

2016-03-12T23:01:43+00:00

I actually find it easier, girls are into a guy that has his life together and his own things to do. I talk to girls at the grocery store walking at the park on the weekend, maybe at the restaurant I choose to have a late night dinner alone in after a long day in the office.

Don't be creepy, be sincere, don't be afraid to just say hi, for me it's pretty easy to gauge when a girl responds with hello if she will be open to conversation or not.

Smile and be kind. It honestly is the way to do all life... The trick is getting out, if you work a shit ton, force yourself to go on that walk, force yourself to go to the store and pick up ingredients instead the drive through. Give yourself opportunities to interact even if it is for just half out here and there.

2016-03-12T20:15:11+00:00

Same, I work 7-3 in construction. I'm absolutely exhausted when I get home. Some days I make it out but I usually have running around around to do and making dinner. Sleeping around 9. I have a pretty good routine nailed but some things come before going out.

brawvers · 2016-03-13T00:05:19+00:00

You're making an excuse. People have been working from 9-5 forever, and manage. The problem is you've put other properties above going out and meeting people/women. "Oh, I really want to catch up on this episode out play this game." You aren't tired, you are unmotivated. You don't care.

waterpanther · 2016-03-13T00:55:22+00:00

You just have to make a priority to be honest. I work 730-430 and go to the gym 1-2 hours a day 6 days a week, cook, read, and am pretty much me time M-Thurs. The weekends I usually just do my hobbies a and work on meeting people through them because we generally have a lot in common. Try meetup.com for group activities and Coffee meets bagel for a tailored date.

RobbyFeelsGood · 2016-03-13T10:16:10+00:00

I'M SUPER GLAD YOU BROUGHT THIS UP! Cuz most of the "pickup" advice is predicated on being able to go out 4+ nights a week 10-2am in order to get any value out of it. Yah. Maybe it works for "pickup coaches." ...fuckin DERP.

Obviously you're no slouch and this is a serious issue. My personal solution has been to use my daytime "work life" to practice the social skills. If you think about it, you have 40+ hours to practice, vs. the 16 you'd get at the club.

2016-03-13T15:05:01+00:00

1) You have to take this seriously. It has to be a goal that you decide to prioritize.

2) You need to learn to be efficient. You can get a lot done in an hour if you're good, so learn to be good. Use your time. Don't go out to some open mic hoping to meet someone, go out and do street approaches downtown, or go to coffee shops and approach, etc. In other words, get in as many approaches/hour as you can (efficiency). You'll be surprised at how many numbers you can get doing this for just an hour. This is a very big one. Your success is the result of the equation "approaches/hour * success per approach", so you can either approach more or improve your success rate (game skill level) to get more results.

3) Schedule it in. You don't need to spend 2 hours at an open-mic when you can do 30 minutes of street approaches per night, or an hour every second night. You should also be doing night game every Fri/Sat as you can sleep in the following days, and then of course you've got a lot of time to schedule on the weekend. Don't overdo it, but do it.

4) Add in online dating. Tinder, traditional e-dating, whatever. If you've got a phone you can do this at work once your profile is set-up (everyone has downtimes each day).

dking168 · 2016-03-12T18:43:18+00:00

Excuses. Just like self-limiting belief that being Asian can't get girls.

The question is how bad do YOU want it? If you want it bad enough, you will make it happen.

sh0nuff · 2016-03-12T23:27:40+00:00

Get married.

Cthulu2013 · 2016-03-13T03:20:38+00:00

I have a 6 pack and am extremely forward with my intentions.

I have zero time for bullshit. If I'm going on a date it's because both of us have explicitly stated our intentions.

Schroef · 2016-03-12T22:38:44+00:00

If you're exhausted after work, you're doing the wrong work, or your work wrong.

Meaning: if your work tires you out (especially mentally), there might be a problem. Not saying you should be full of energy at 6 pm, but you shouldn't be 'fed up' or 'done for the day' either.

That, or your work is fine in itself, but you can't protect your boundaries-- i.e. You are having a hard time saying 'no' without feeling guilty. That costs a LOT of energy.

Title	Men 21+ how to keep up with your dating life when you work 50 hours a week
Author	unorthodoxintrovert
Upvotes	81
Comments	51
Date	March 12, 2016 5:52 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/4a4q63/men_21_how_to_keep_up_with_your_dating_life_when/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/men-21-how-to-keep-up-with-your-dating-life-when.1403911 https://theredarchive.com/post/1403911

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