How Being 'Direct' Is Usually Coming From Desperateness

brokenmess · 2016-06-06T17:25:04+00:00

Being direct is not about going after a girl JUST because you find her physically attractive. The whole point of being direct is to make it clear to her that you are not talking to her just because you're her new best girlfriend.

Tron10000 · 2016-06-06T19:17:08+00:00

Just because you tell a girl you're trying to fuck or asking if she wants to doesn't make you needy all it means Is there's an attraction

almondbutter1 · 2016-06-06T19:41:56+00:00

Desperateness lol.

And I enjoyed parts of your article. The problem I have with it is that it's too presumptive in assuming that anyone who goes direct is immediately putting her on a pedestal and is trying to get with her.

Being direct is just a way to open. And then you continue the conversation to find out if you're interested in her, same as what you do. There's not necessarily a desire that she has to be the one or that you need to get her. Just hi you're cute then talk and decide if you want to get to know her better.

And if a guy is just looking to get laid, which is fine, and he owes direct and the girl is also looking to just get laid, which is fine, it doesn't really matter how compatible they are, cause they're not looking for anything more.

So going direct is fine and doesn't necessarily signify any o the negative traits you're saying it does.

Challenger25 · 2016-06-06T20:55:45+00:00

The word you are looking for is "desperation"

SSJZoroDWolverine · 2016-06-06T21:44:43+00:00

I don't think there's a big relationship between "being direct" and "being desperate" as you presume.

I go up to women all the time and say some version of "Hi, I saw you, I thought you were cute, and I wanted to say hi." There's no desperation there. I'm just being honest and upfront about why I'm approaching her. Whether or not she rejects me is fine. But at least I'm not manipulating her.

Being direct is just being upfront about my intentions during the interaction. I'm still learning about the girl as I talk to her. And if she's in a rush or I don't get to really know her when I first meet her, I'll ask for her number and try to set up a date. That way I can really get to know her.

TheLongestTextMessag · 2016-06-07T00:19:17+00:00

I don't know why some people are reacting negatively to this. It's strikingly similar to the general philosophy of vulnerability around here.

hcarguy · 2016-06-07T05:10:05+00:00

I'm not bothered to read that whole article, to be honest it seems like a waste of time with that title. Being direct is not desperate, it makes things way easier when you don't want to waste time. It's far more efficient and honest, which a lot of women appreciate.

ImJustSo · 2016-06-06T18:35:39+00:00

Well, I didn't read the entire article. I just stopped reading after every fucking thing you were saying is pretty much what I try to explain to other guys.

This is the first article I've read here that I actually liked and I didn't even have to get more than a few paragraphs into it. I just know if I keep reading I'll keep going, "Exactly, someone who fucking gets it."

Good shit, bro.

clovers2345 · 2016-06-06T19:46:55+00:00

From a technical perspective Chris, is this micro escalation? I would like to hear your thoughts. Cheers!

enkae7317 · 2016-06-06T19:47:55+00:00

I've been direct before. It works really well because women like men who know what they want.

skykiller4000 · 2016-06-06T20:51:32+00:00

I read the entire article. I enjoyed it, not because its right or wrong but because its a different perspective. I don't think being direct is coming from a place a desperateness generally speaking.

When I see people approaching and being direct it more seems like they are just throwing all their cards on the table and the woman can take it or leave it. Which is 100% fine.

I personally vary the way I approach women all the time not because one way works better than the other necessarily, but because I'm rather young so I'm still finding my niche. But I did find your perspective quite appealing so I will be using this mindset, Thank you.

QB1 · 2016-06-06T21:21:35+00:00

Be direct.....but always keep it moving!

If you are more concerned with quantity rather than quality then "aloofness" is your best friend.

txroller · 2016-06-06T21:48:32+00:00

So "How to put off physical approach. till she is so confused about your intentions she finds someone else first?" no thank you

time_and_again · 2016-06-06T22:55:36+00:00

Good insight. I've been working on my ego lately and this resonates with how I'm trying to approach... well the whole world, really.

I think we all wish it could be easier at various times and sometimes direct game can be a shield for protecting our egos. Better to be frank and get rejected early than to try to connect and be seen as unworthy, boring, or unsexy. But it doesn't really come down to direct or indirect. I feel like you have to get to a point where you can truly observe your ego and untether it from your sense of self. If you're too caught up in it, any kind of approach will be a hedged bet to avoid pain.

maxripley · 2016-06-07T17:49:12+00:00

God damn that is one solid article. I wrote earlier today about this on Seddit and why I personally very rarely go direct. If going direct suits you and your personality, go for it! But when I hear people talking about going direct is the only way, I think they miss the point a lot of times.

alex0919 · 2016-06-06T23:54:38+00:00

I think you need to take this advice seriously, only if you look at "game" as just having sex with pretty girls. I also don't think this discussion is trying to demonize being direct with women, it's just a reminder that your interactions shouldn't have a robotic approach; e.g.

Tell girl she's cute
"Get to know" girl with shallow questions
Ask for meet, sometime she gives you her number because she feels pressured, other times she's being nice, sometimes she just thinks you're good looking
Girl may or (most likely) not meet up with you

That's all good and fun, but you'll quickly realize you feel empty because your brain is not inside your dick, and it doesn't feel close to anyone. It should also be noted this is probably not the best advice for beginners, because 100% "game" will get you laid every once in awhile, but not consistently, and that's just the truth. Beginners want consistency, but what I'm trying to say is you can't make something out of nothing.

This advice should be the underpinnings of your interactions, don't run up to women because they're pretty - they probably know from the last 5 guys, genuinely desire to explore her as a person and see if you two like each other. I learned after awhile that women will usually never have sex with you if you view every part of the interaction as a means to secure that end.

For example, if you think, deep down, that telling a girl she's adorable will make her salivate for your dick all the time (some guys actually think this, conscious or subconsciously), you're way off. If you tell her that with the frame of - you're trying to look for someone new that you can connect with and enjoy as a person, she might give the interaction a shot.

ChrisBale1 · 2016-06-06T16:35:48+00:00

This is a huge post. But I hope you can get vast amounts of value from it.

InBaggingArea · 2016-06-06T17:58:25+00:00

I call bull shit. What's wrong with being desperate anyway?

In other news, 6 men die at sea after 27 days pretending not to be thirsty.

Title	How Being 'Direct' Is Usually Coming From Desperateness
Author	ChrisBale1
Upvotes	71
Comments	53
Date	June 6, 2016 4:35 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/4mtuji/how_being_direct_is_usually_coming_from/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-being-direct-is-usually-coming-from.1407793 https://theredarchive.com/post/1407793

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