Absolutely terrified

jrr087 · 2024-03-20T09:30:48+00:00

I'm paying 675/month for 1 kid in TX. Divorce laws in TX are extremely archaic and just see dads as human ATMs. These other dudes are right though, OP. She ain't your friend. I made that mistake and it's bit me every time. Mine is an absolute snake in the grass.

MrCleanWI · 2024-03-20T00:26:57+00:00

I don't know about Texas, Wisconsin is 15% for one child 17% for two and I don't know how it goes above and beyond that. I was paying $1,400 a month when I had my first divorce. Thankfully their are no kids involved in my second divorce

Least_Winter9632 · 2024-03-19T12:00:40+00:00

Recently divorced in Texas, 4 kids, expanded standard custody. Yes, the CS is brutal, but spousal support isn’t really a thing in Texas. I pay zero spousal support. Also, don’t forget you won’t be on the hook for all of your ex’s spending; amazon, kohls, marshalls, gucci, $300 haircuts, etc etc etc. This off sets a good part of the child support

Slow_Complex9685 · 2024-03-17T18:11:01+00:00

Jesus. Going through a divorce now and reading all of this is depressing as fuck. I'm screwed. Sorry OP, sounds like we're fucked for being our gender. I fucking hate my stbxw, I mean with every part of me. You should consider her your adversary, not ally or friend in all of this. And hopefully she's not vindictive and tries to claim some sort of abuse or something like that against you.

We are cohabitating for now and am just waiting for the court to decide when to kick me out. Sounds like there may be no way around this? I have the tiniest bit of hope that my atty can save me as much as possible with any/all of it.

Just look after yourself from here on. Good luck buddy. Wishing the best for you.

Heavy_Guitar_4848 · 2024-03-17T17:46:51+00:00

Use her affair fog against her and negotiate a good deal for yourself. Try to negotiate right after she gets back from being with AP. Get a good lawyer on retainer and be nice to her until settlement agreement is signed.

DivorceRecoveryMen · 2024-03-17T15:23:47+00:00

Separate but don't move out. Stay in the home. Sleep in another room. No need to incur additional expenses too fast. Your divorce is gonna hurt, Take the hit and move on to your new positive happiness. It's worth the hit in the long run.

Adventurous_Fact2083 · 2024-03-17T14:58:26+00:00

Wife’s want to separate so they can go fuck other dudes. File for divorce and leave that hoe in the dust. Read my past posts and you’ll see why I said that. Also make sure you hire a lawyer who only specializes in divorce, custody, and family law. I dealt with this for 2 years. I was naive at first because I didn’t want to believe it. After she got arrested and tried to set me up to hit her to get me out of the house I knew there was no coming back. One day I will write my entire story but I am telling you from experiencing they will bread crumb you to death. The trash took itself out.

jrgunner · 2024-03-17T14:28:46+00:00

If you want equal timesharing you need to make sure that's what you're doing during separation. Often they'll want separation and while you're getting situated they'll use that as the "status quo" after they file. Also, do not spend time alone with her or you'll expose yourself to a false domestic violence allegation.

You'll need to be methodical and rational while going through the most emotional time possible. You must keep your wits about you. And understand something: nobody cares. Not the judges, not the lawyers, not her. If there cost of attorneys and child support leave you homeless they will not hesitate to leave you on the street and use that against you. Family law is an inhumane system inherently biased against the man. Short of her being a drunk or drug addict she will get every benefit while you will have to fight for every inch even if you have been a role model father and husband. So you will need to be smart and assume the worst of her. Do not assume for an instant she won't destroy you and your reputation in order to get majority timesharing and the most child support/alimony. That includes accusing you of all the worst things up to and including domestic violence.

I'm sorry to say this to you, but it's the harsh truth of divorce and you'll only hear it from those who truly care about you.

As for the future I always think of this Marcus Aurelius quote "Never let the future disturb you. You will meet it, if you have to, with the same weapons of reason which today arm you against the present".

No matter how dark and bleak things seem at some points keep in mind it's just a stage in the journey. Keep your eye on the ball, see it through. Things get better. Focus on yourself, being the best version of you and being the father your children deserve.

I hope for the best for you.

Reddit188869 · 2024-03-17T06:19:37+00:00

Talk to a lawyer immediately, and have Plan B ready to execute the second she tells you it’s permanent. Do not hesitate. As said above, the separation is being used to prepare themselves - to get HER ducks in a row, making sure the branch she’s been trying to swing over too is strong enough to hold her and her baggage’s weight, and you’ll hear from her about it once it’s all set on her end. Don’t sit and wait on it brother, you got this. Prepare yourself and be ready.

Is0prene · 2024-03-17T01:01:43+00:00

How long has she been in the workforce? Does she have a college degree? Did she stop working to take care of the kids? And how long were you married for?

bluephotoshop · 2024-03-16T22:42:56+00:00

Yeah, child support for 4 kids with that income disparity is going to hurt. But go with it. Be there for your children. I acknowledged my CS obligation (with a similar disparity in Austin). and I am glad I did.

sicrm · 2024-03-16T22:21:43+00:00

use the “separation” to prepare for the divorce.

book a consult with a lawyer (some do free ones) and work through with a divorce would look like.

if things turn hostile (always on the table), you have a baseline and a lawyer you could hire if needed.

huggsnkisses · 2024-03-16T20:35:42+00:00

Some time apart with tactical silence should help. Good luck.

Title	Absolutely terrified
Author	Easy_senpai
Upvotes	8
Comments	39
Date	March 16, 2024 8:21 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1bgf5sb/absolutely_terrified/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/absolutely-terrified.1426015 https://theredarchive.com/post/1426015

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