Why does talking about the issues men face, especially when it comes to society immediately make a man an incel?

Illustrious_Bus9486 · 2024-03-04T13:18:39+00:00

It is called an ad hominem attack. When they can't attack the message, they attack the messenger.

ElisaSKy · 2024-03-04T13:21:59+00:00

Two reasons:

It's easier to shame men than to address real problems.

There is this widespread idea that the sexual touch of men is corrupting while the sexual touch of women is purifying. If you believe nasty things (such as "men should have a recourse against their purifier if they received the purifying sexual touch against their will"), it must be because you're impure, which must mean you haven't experienced the purifying touch.

Metraxis · 2024-03-04T13:23:09+00:00

"Incel" used to be a term for someone who was not sexually successful, with no gender or orientation implied (the very first self-identified incel was a woman circa 1993). These days, it stands in for the much-devalued "nerd" with an added dash of "dangerous", and has a specifically male connotation.

Rasollia · 2024-03-04T13:51:11+00:00

I've had this exactly debate on reddit- the people throwing out "incel" as an insult are part of the problem.

It's a cheap, petty insult that has lost all meaning. When someone uses it to insult someone, I immediately assume they don't have anything to say worth listening to.

Obi_is_not_Dead · 2024-03-04T13:43:38+00:00

No hate to you, man, but incel is such a dumbass term they assign to us. I don't view any man as an incel. We are men.

DrewYetti · 2024-03-04T14:26:44+00:00

It’s a slur to silence men from taking about their issues as feminists fear it would take attention from them. Women get called an incel if they speak out against feminism as well as a “pick me.” An Ad Hominem attack.

OnlyCommentWhenTipsy · 2024-03-04T15:01:33+00:00

Because men are expected to:

a) man up and handle their shit.

b) don't actually man up, that's toxic.

Only way to win is by not playing

krackedy · 2024-03-04T13:23:00+00:00

Complaining about not being able to get laid/get a date is always going to be walking an extremely thin line when it comes to being called an incel. Generally complaining about the shitty circumstance can be okay, as soon as you start complaining about/generalizing women, people will think incel. I'm not saying I agree or it's right, but that's the way it is.

Keeping the focus on what you're doing about the problem, how to combat loneliness without relying on women or just talking about dating sucking for everyone is usually fine.

Personally I talk about men's issues a lot and I've never been called an incel, but I really don't care about the dating/sex side of men's issues. I care about suicide, mental health, sentencing, circumcision, the draft, etc.

nutnics · 2024-03-04T15:29:32+00:00

It’s odd when you think about how the insult “incel” is bandied about by women that would shame men for using them for sex but also shame men for not getting sex. The idea behind it is based on being a loser because they want you to try at least to get sex or something like that.

penguinsrcoolaf · 2024-03-04T15:33:22+00:00

It's the way the left deal with anything that goes against their woke ideology. Men spking up= Sexism/incels White people spk up=Racism/white fragility Women spk out against Trans = Transphobic/terfs Anytime anyone doesn't agree with everything insane thing the intersectionists believe they're label as some slur. It's so transparent at the point.

Lonewolf_087 · 2024-03-04T14:50:08+00:00

There is a big split in the haves and have nots. Some of the haves will call you an incel but they have other privileges and things that they are unaware of that naturally make them more marketable in the dating scene. They will gaslight you into believing that it’s all on you when the reality is you only have so much control over who you are naturally and they will think that women aren’t necessarily to blame because they have had opportunities that others haven’t had. Unfortunately I’m in the growing group of men who have struggled to find a relationship and I’m even outside of the gen z issue as a millennial. It’s impacting many many men.

Slight-Rent-883 · 2024-03-04T16:08:52+00:00

Ask 2X sub and watch the flames

Puzzleheaded_Hope524 · 2024-03-04T14:10:35+00:00

It's easier for pea-brained neo-feminists to slot all people into one category, than to actually delve into the issues men face on the individual level.

Randumpz · 2024-03-04T14:17:46+00:00

Feminists will say in one breath that it's because of patriarchy men are ridiculed for being "vulnerable" or admitting to hardship and in the very next breath ridicule a man when he points out that there are hardships which are exclusive to men.

They believe or at least pretend to believe that in every area men have it better because that is their propaganda. Feminism is not about equality but rather female empowerment with the supposed aim of equality but like any group, it will continue to push for more.

Shaming and appeals for sympathy are the only tools feminists have and to their credit, they have been very effective at it.

The incel comment is to shame you into silence. You are looking for logic as to why you are being attacked. There is none. They see any spotlight on men's hardships as a distraction or, even worse, in most cases a subtraction from women's liberation.

Johntoreno · 2024-03-04T14:41:58+00:00

Words change meaning all the time, especially slurs. The new definition of incel is any male that doesn't bend the knee to the intolerant feminist religion.

aaronis31337 · 2024-03-04T16:09:55+00:00

because there is power in being a victim in our society. Women want a monopoly on feeling this, so they are holding onto it like a vice grip.

According-Excuse9275 · 2024-03-04T14:22:12+00:00

Most modern women are not worth your time. They’re either tiktok brain dead or brainwashed to “hate all men” by their universities. My advice to you is to start a weightlifting routine, eat big and get big. Your brain will thank you.

Scrytheux · 2024-03-04T15:09:54+00:00

Honestly, it's like that from both women and men. Whenever i talk about how it's not so easy for men to find partner, i get called a lonely loser. By feminists and alpha males.

The thing is... i had already over 5 GFs, while never searching for one. But just because I've got lucky (or unlucky in some cases), doesn't mean I'm delusional enough to think there's no such problem as loneliness epidemic.

CConnelly_Scholar · 2024-03-04T17:33:57+00:00

Where does that leave young men: In isolation.

I was just talking with my girlfriend about this. When we were all younger it's a really common experience for the girls to be interested in men but the boys to be interested in girls their age. This leads to a lot of complexes on both ends because the men who will date young girls are predators. The girls deal with some amount of guilt for not giving the boys their age the chance, and the trauma of dating predatory men young often results in them expecting that toxicity from relationships on into the future. On the flipside the boys develop complexes about not being enough of a man and develop toxic habits trying to be like the predatory men they saw their young crushes go for. I bring up the childhood instantiation of this because I think a lot of the toxicity you see in adults of both genders stems from this initial trauma that they haven't totally worked through.

arrouk · 2024-03-04T15:59:58+00:00

Because there is no advantage to women in what you are saying so you are obviously an misogynistic incel

The fact is its just another word that has lost all meaning because so many use it as a standard shaming insult.

No_Table386 · 2024-03-04T17:36:23+00:00

They make up these stupid ass buzzwords because they can’t come up with a legitimate looking reason to hate men.

NameIs-Already-Taken · 2024-03-04T21:56:04+00:00

Women shame men to control them.

2024-03-04T17:32:33+00:00

it doesn't - it's just what people say when they don't want to listen to what a man says. they do it to delegitimize him. it's poisoning the well and an ad hominem attack.

skcuf2 · 2024-03-04T17:48:25+00:00

You're arguing with leftists and that's how things go. Leftists are as notorious for ad hominem and screaming as right with extremists are for racism. You should probably spend some time off the Internet and have some conversations with some normal people. Although, I haven't really broached the men's rights issue with anyone except my wife. It's just too much hassle explaining common sense to the common person.

Cactus2711 · 2024-03-04T18:17:44+00:00

People who use the term ‘incel’ lack empathy

These are simply men who don’t understand how to attract women

2024-03-04T19:06:34+00:00

Feminism has lied so much to women that they believe anything that a man wants is controlling and manipulative but anything that a woman wants is moral and just.

psycobillycadillac · 2024-03-04T22:58:05+00:00

Incel is just a feminist word for I have no better argument. The last bastion of someone who’s in way over their head intellectually. Don’t listen to their pitiful cries. Just tell them their cats are hungry and watch the show. It’s quite funny.

2024-03-05T00:16:52+00:00

It’s the easiest thing those type of folk can “attack” is the man’s sexual conquests, because they still contradict themselves by not wanting to be reduced themselves to their physical abilities, however they have no problem classifying a guy that doesn’t flaunt his trysts as less than.

hottake_toothache · 2024-03-05T04:28:04+00:00

People don't care about men, and they will punish any attempt to make other care.

Ninjurk · 2024-03-05T05:39:12+00:00

"incel" started off as a self-identification by depressed and lonely men. The Left took it and started using it as a demonization, like calling someone a "racist" or a "whatever-phobic" for having dissenting opinions that they want to shut down without actually discussion/argument.

And this is them disregarding the fact that most "incels" identify with the Left.

GTRacer1972 · 2024-10-25T22:55:09+00:00

Caring about men's rights doesn't make you an incel. Believing something like women are there to serve you or that it's okay to rape them does.

2024-03-04T14:23:16+00:00

It doesn’t. It’s how the topic is approached that gets that response

2024-03-05T06:44:49+00:00

It's just a trendy term. Previously it was called "nice guy syndrome"

*Growls "I'm a nice guy! Why won't women go for me?" as if they owe him something for being nice. It's a behavior that's pretty well documented when it comes to actual incels.

OldTrapper87 · 2024-03-04T19:37:34+00:00

What drives me crazy is when my wife talks about problems without bringing a solution to the table.

I see a lot of men that come here just to trash talk woman or just to complain how hard men have it in Turkey and India as they sit in their moms basement in America.

I feel that we are strong and don't need the same protection as women and I can't stand to hear a man wine about a problem like a teenager girl would.

I'm not saying we shouldnt bring a problem up I'm just saying don't wine about the 1000 problems life gave you as you sit in somewhere like American.

2024-03-04T15:13:57+00:00

I think the onerous is on you to create communities where you feel heard. The world doesn't owe you anything as it doesn't owe anyone else anything. My guess is that stoic characters that used to reflect manhood is described as toxic but other people's perception, if you adhere to strong moral values, should be irrelevant. Stop feeling like a victim or you're no better than other groups that purport victimhood and special treatment.

D0ct0r_Fishy · 2024-03-04T14:25:01+00:00

Because men online cannot talk about men's problems without attacking women.

Alternatively, discourse on men's problems can be boiled down to thinking "women have it too good and men suffer because of it".

But what I do genuinely believe is all of us "Deserve a chance." If we are all being honest here, if the majority of young women are in relationships with older men, other women. . Etc

Where does that leave young men: in isolation.

This doesn't read as retrospective as to why women are dating men older than them, nor does it seem interested in addressing how men are failing to build relationships with each other. this earnest appeal doesn't read as though as a call for men to help men.

The point being misogyny is rampant in places that are meant to lift up men, and that massively detracts from the validity of the arguments being made.

According-Excuse9275 · 2024-03-04T16:12:45+00:00

Because you types of people always bash women whilst doing it, clearly with a hatred for women. That makes you incels.

gaygentlemane · 2024-03-04T16:57:28+00:00

Because there's a reverse-privilege hierarchy based on perceived oppression. If you're from a "marginalized" group you have special rights and prerogatives, all predicated on the notion that you experience disadvantages not faced by the dominant group. Any discussion of hardships or structural barriers faced by men directly undercuts that proposition and thus indirectly endangers the reverse-privilege hierarchy.

randomaviary · 2024-03-04T18:05:39+00:00

Although the majority of people in power are men, the average man is still viewed as being “in power”, despite the vast array of statistics that prove otherwise.

Salamadierha · 2024-03-04T19:21:51+00:00

It doesn't make a man anything. It makes those responding to him very limited in their ability to construct arguments, understand concepts, or possess even a shred of empathy.

wwwhistler · 2024-03-04T22:19:45+00:00

it might be that the Rebel outsider, the Lone hero, the Gallant Knight are solitary characters but not lonely ones. and many, both men and women, think that if you feel lonely , you can't be one of those things.

Title	Why does talking about the issues men face, especially when it comes to society immediately make a man an incel?
Author	Throwaway56650
Upvotes	405
Comments	83
Date	March 4, 2024 12:58 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1b6aahp/why_does_talking_about_the_issues_men_face/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/why-does-talking-about-the-issues-men-face.1426966 https://theredarchive.com/post/1426966

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