Hooked up with a girl and caught feelings. Was pretty direct about it I think. What are your thoughts?

freakyfreakyafronaut · 2017-07-21T14:02:50+00:00

You did the right thing now you can move on only advice I have is have fun and you will meet someone cool eventually where the feelings mutual.

Shinyarmor2 · 2017-07-21T14:44:29+00:00

This is exactly what you should do. But what i thi k is impressive is that you were honest with yourself and identified your feelings before reaching out to her. It was a risky move and she didnt requite her interest in you. But now you have the freedom yo do it again.

Honesty and communicating is very important to ones self.

starshine8316 · 2017-07-21T15:52:16+00:00

[permanently deleted]

atg301 · 2017-07-21T14:49:27+00:00

In the future, just ask to hang out and make the moves. Saying that tends to freak girls out. Keep your head up though! You'll find more like her...

Lambdal7 · 2017-07-21T17:17:15+00:00

Rule #1: Don't be the first one to disclose your feelings. Let the girl do it. Girls become scared really quickly and if you catch her at a bad time, she will give you a no.

p1243 · 2017-07-21T21:55:44+00:00

Here is my honest opinion. I think that you were too needy in the way you went about inviting her to do stuff. Men are meant to lead, and dominate - this is what the ladies crave. I can almost bet she woulda said yes if you simply asked her to hang out - rather than basically begging. It also put pressure on her - she probably felt like you are expecting too much from her.

Ragnrok · 2017-07-21T17:24:16+00:00

Sounds creepy and clingy and more than a little needy. If she fucked you and is still talking to you then she's into you. You don't need to get weird about it. A simple "I had a lot of fun, wanna hang out again some time?" would work.

Basically you could have probably wound up dating her if it wasn't for how you told her about your feelings.

Ninokun · 2017-07-21T14:34:41+00:00

Im really confused, u had sex, and she kept communication, ur text message didnt sound desperate, and she isnt interested?

where did u fuck up? if u had written that u love her or somme bullshit i can at least grasp the situation.

NoRiceForP · 2017-07-21T16:00:16+00:00

You're two main mistakes were waiting too long and putting her on a pedestal. The first is self explanatory. The second one is clear to see from reading your text. Though I guess these things are kinda hard when its long distance.

serialcompression · 2017-07-21T19:46:19+00:00

I think you went all in too quick, you probably could have hung out again if you asked without the emotional baggage. Then you really could have felt it out, tbh catching feelings after one hookup would probably bother most people because you don't really know each other. By admitting you got feelings for her you probably pushed her away because she didn't have time to build feelings for you as well.

Usually I'm all for being direct but I think you dove in too quick.

2017-07-21T14:43:52+00:00

No mistake I can see.

You were honest, she was honest....just wasn't mutually agreeable.

There is nothing wrong with that.

sdnivra94 · 2017-07-21T19:27:38+00:00

You ask everyone for their thoughts but are getting so defensive. Why even post here then?

2017-07-21T22:46:30+00:00

As a girl, I think you did absolutely the right thing. I would have so appreciated this action over awkward flirting. Even if I'm not into a guy, I can respect this in a way I can't respect wheedling hints. Once, it went on for years, but he never gave me the chance to make it explicitly clear I wasn't interested because he never brought it up. Then he tried to kiss me once while I was rolling and he wasn't (ew) and it was the opposite of smooth because he just smacked his mouth into the vague vicinity of mine and I actually resented him for doing it like that because then when I rejected him it hurt more than it needed to if he'd just been upfront years (YEARS) earlier.

Don't listen to those who say this was a wet text. If I was into a guy and texted me that I'd buy his train ticket within half an hour. This wasn't something you messed up. She wasn't keen and, lucky and clever you, you now don't have to spend any more time or energy on her. Best outcome for you both!

Vistian · 2017-07-21T22:49:06+00:00

I would have just tried to make plans to see her again without the "sincere" stuff. Not saying it's bad, but it seems wise to me to let things grow organically.

2017-07-21T23:56:46+00:00

i dont think you did the right thing because the right thing entails of getting the girl. not to mention that she'll be fucking someone else, when she should be thinking about fucking you. why do you get into learning this if your just going to say thing like "hey this is me being sincere... im wondering if it would be too much if..." and i get it your passive aggressive about this. Instead be more proactive and get out there right now, or tonight! you seem like you can rub two cents together enough to do something to attract her. if not, ask about that. But your passive aggressive nature doesnt even let you ask the question "how do i get this girl that im crazy about??" instead you seek "thoughts" about you catching feelings. A good friend would probably punch you in the arm. really hard, just to wake your ass up.

pick a place to go out to, invite a buddy, work out a basic plan, and work the joint. next time your feeling rather good about yourself, send this lame chick another text to prove herself to be cool. She wasnt cool bc you werent cool. Girls can be like mirrors to your own soul.

RespondsWithImprov · 2017-07-22T00:22:44+00:00

Hey it's alright because you were impressed by how cool she was right? That was enough for you right? That you spent time with someone who impressed you.

When you close the tension loop through being impressed or sharing your feelings like that, it's game over.

2017-07-22T02:06:38+00:00

I think that's not the type of thing you say with a text. If you want to be upfront about your feelings you could just wait until you get a chance to say it in person.

BonelessSkinless · 2017-07-22T02:07:12+00:00

Never. Catch. Feelings.

fleedtarks · 2017-07-22T03:19:51+00:00

You aren't as good as you thought you were

Questionnaire7 · 2017-07-22T04:16:12+00:00

Its because what you texted was cringy as fuck. She probably would have reacted like that even if you were beginning to date.

JaNOMaly · 2017-07-22T01:22:26+00:00

It's all good, rejection is not always a personal thing.

Other guys are telling you you were too needy or whatever... I don't believe that's the truth, you were honest about how you felt, that's what real men are able to do.

2udaylatif · 2017-07-21T15:56:16+00:00

You caught feelings, took your shot to see her again, she wasn't interested, The End. You did nothing wrong. Move on.

The wrong move is to keep obsessing about her and try contacting her again.

midnight_toker22 · 2017-07-21T14:55:21+00:00

You didn't do anything wrong. There's nothing you could have done differently to have a more favorable outcome.

That's just the way to cookie crumbles sometimes.

Concealus · 2017-07-21T20:32:27+00:00

Decent! Depends on your style really, it seems that no matter how you 'said it', she feels how she feels. Atleast my own personal style is to say what I'm thinking with my actions, I would have visited her and escalated things emotionally. In my experience, women respond better to actions than words.

2017-07-21T22:28:30+00:00

Your curiosity was satisfied, now you know what would have happened. You made the best decision (although you could've probably worded the text differently). Either way, you're now free to move on knowing you did all you can.

OneirosSupreme · 2017-07-22T03:08:41+00:00

You did good bro. I thought the communication of your intentions was a little off and a few highly rated comments have addressed this but you made the right decision by texting her. A simple "hey we should hang out soon. I'm thinking of swinging by. Cool?" would have been better in my opinion. You two were a little too casual for your version which wasn't bad but just not right for the point in time. Either way, you did good. Who knows, maybe she just wasn't interested and nothing would have worked.

You seem pretty experienced and cool so just keep keeping on.

Sexybegger · 2017-07-22T07:13:27+00:00

I like direct. I'm a bit older though, might make a difference

2017-07-22T17:08:40+00:00

Honestly I hate catching feelings there's nothing worse, easiest way to get depressed, broken hearted and fucked up all in a matter of a few minutes or hours

sergeant_flem · 2017-07-21T15:51:11+00:00

You did exactly what you were supposed to do, you put it out there and were honest with yourself. Now you can move on

bugxter · 2017-07-22T00:10:49+00:00

What did you do wrong? I think nothing. As she said, she was just not interested.

Move on, simply as that.

PepperoniQuattro · 2017-07-22T02:38:16+00:00

You polarized her quickly, which is good.

Don't sweat the details too much. If she was really into you, you could've said the cheesiest shit ever and it still would've worked.

Title	Hooked up with a girl and caught feelings. Was pretty direct about it I think. What are your thoughts?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	187
Comments	111
Date	July 21, 2017 1:42 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/6onz3q/hooked_up_with_a_girl_and_caught_feelings_was/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/hooked-up-with-a-girl-and-caught-feelings-was.1430715 https://theredarchive.com/post/1430715

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