After weeks of lurking, I feel like everyone here is suffering one thing that is holding them back: overthinking.

hunterpua · 2019-01-09T01:39:06+00:00

Yeah, you teach them how to not overthink.

Also, some people just don't know what the hell they're doing which is why they come here seeking advice and it looks like overthinking but in actuality some people just need things spelled out for them.

I have nothing against those kinds of people because having something against people that need dating spelled out to them is like having something against a newbie at the gym for being overweight or skinny.

We all come into this at different points in our lives and from different backgrounds and upbringings.

You may already have most of the tools necessary to date effectively because of your specific upbringing but understand that not everyone is lucky enough to have that.

We all get dealt a different hand, we all are in different boats.

If you want to help, don't just tell people they're overthinking or that they have to look deeper, offer an actual solution.

...

This part is for everyone reading this comment

A lot of you have sent me direct messages asking for my advice because you read a comment I made on this sub, just like this one, and found it to be very helpful/insightful/meaningful and I'm happy to say I've been able to help you guys so much more because of that.

Here's the problem: More and more messages are coming in and I really want to help but its getting hard to keep up.

So I've put together a Telegram group for you guys that want to improve your dating lives and want to actually understand the psychology behind our interactions with not only women but with ourselves and people in general.

If you want to be part of a group that believes in finesse over brute force, technique over strength, smart work over hard work, Seduction over pursuit then send me a direct message with your Telegram username.

If you are serious about getting better with women then I'll be happy to welcome you in.

K3wp · 2019-01-09T01:40:00+00:00

Absolutely. Something I strive for is the elusive "Zero State". Not simply not caring or not giving af. Nothing. The null state.

Handsome_Claptrap · 2019-01-09T02:39:28+00:00

Yep. I made a post similar a while back. Overthinking is the biggest cockblock there is.

Guys who are good with girls = hardly think, do more

Guys who suck with girls = think too much, do less

gradcasanova · 2019-01-09T03:29:45+00:00

If you don’t know what you’re doing, then looking for advice is not overthinking. Matter fact, avoiding advice will just make your problems worse because you’ll be trying to “just let it flow” or whatever in the wrong way. If most dudes took good dating advice the world would be a much different place

geeered · 2019-01-09T04:36:18+00:00

[permanently deleted]

spawnend · 2019-01-09T01:39:25+00:00

bad lifestyle habits are causing the anxiety, which is causing the overthinking. but people don't want to hear that

Roly__Poly__ · 2019-01-09T08:28:59+00:00

Go sit next to a still pond and do your best to think of nothing. Repeat.

After a while, add in: "My mind is completely still." Notice what happens when your mind begins to be still and empty, even if that interrupts your emptiness a little bit. Repeat for a while and you may begin to notice how maintaining emptiness gets easier. It's an experience, not a thought.

Find a public place. Repeat exercise. Never bother to think about why it's different. Just realize that it can work and that is sufficient info for you to do so.

Total time investment: Like 40 minutes.

MrDownhillRacer · 2019-01-09T13:44:03+00:00

Normies who can do things naturally without thinking be like "why you overthinnking it?"

Look, maybe if this stuff came naturally to me as well, I also wouldn't have to think about it.

sweetpotatuh · 2019-01-09T07:15:29+00:00

[permanently deleted]

momdoggity · 2019-01-09T02:45:32+00:00

VERY TRUE!

Paltenburg · 2019-01-09T08:04:28+00:00

Who says everyone is suffering?

recyclablebanthas · 2019-01-09T14:26:58+00:00

1

After weeks of lurking, I feel like everyone here is suffering one thing that is holding them back: overthinking.

Yep. Though I'd contend that it's a common symptom, not yet a main cause.

2

This can’t be fixed by teaching someone how to flirt. Its deeper than that.

This is why so much of this forum focuses on Inner Game.

And why a lot of guys like, James Marshall, Nick Sparks, David Wygant, and Mark Manson started getting into what has been termed, "Natural Game." It's why Mark Manson and David Wygant specifically, started branching out into Life Coaching, because this goes deeper than pick-up, really.

We're talking about a lot of guys who are overthinking because they don't know where to start, the same way that someone who's starting research in a huge library might find the electronic catalog/card catalog a bit daunting. These are guys who are coming here with severely underdeveloped social skills.

And they have to wade through a minefield of guys trying to exploit their insecurities to make money, or bitter guys who have caved into their anger and basically given up trying to figure it out..... in order to get the odd post here or there that actually helps.

In conclusion, /u/hunterpua already said what I was going to.

ethical_pa · 2019-01-09T22:38:03+00:00

one thing that is holding them back: overthinking.

You are right there

Its deeper than that.

You are wrong here. It's not deep at all. It's not taking action (or giving up after dabbling a few months) that's holding 97% of guys back.

2019-01-09T22:38:39+00:00

I recently had a big realization that my own insecurities were sabotaging my interactions with premier women, the type of too-good-to-be-true women. I got burned in a relationship with one of these women as a teenager, and as a result my mind created defense mechanisms to avoid ever getting that hurt again. I started to look for “perceived evidence” that a girl isn’t into me, and I’ll read too much into little things. I’ll do this even when a girl appears super interested.

It’s fucked.

innergamedude · 2019-01-09T11:05:51+00:00

You mean... a community founded for neurotic risk-averse nerds who spend their spare time talking about approaching women instead of doing it are overthinkers? No! Where DO you get these ideas?

iamcg3 · 2019-01-09T03:10:04+00:00

IMO you either got it or you don’t, Brah

2019-01-09T05:56:40+00:00

True. All I’ve focused on doing is being more confident, not overthinking shit and being myself. I think it has made me orders of magnitude more attractive to the woman I was pursuing.

2019-01-09T04:56:32+00:00

Take the upvote.

Bitches aint shit. They aren't worth the keyboard you're typing on. Go out with your friends. Approach some girls. Try maybe a couple times a week to fuck someone. It's just a primal need that we need to get out of the way in between our true calling. Sexual satisfaction has no end. It only feeds the appetite. Bang some sluts. Then get back to your mission. Start a business, learn languages, play instruments, study philosophy, etc. Us men exist to be the inventors, the innovators, the leaders of humanity in the free world.

DajuanKev · 2019-01-09T17:25:59+00:00

Overthinking can be interesting tho. It depends on if you can handle it. It can add to a mind blowing approach that exceeds your expectations.

Title	After weeks of lurking, I feel like everyone here is suffering one thing that is holding them back: overthinking.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	369
Comments	61
Date	January 9, 2019 1:19 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/ae1h7e/after_weeks_of_lurking_i_feel_like_everyone_here/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/after-weeks-of-lurking-i-feel-like-everyone-here.1460185 https://theredarchive.com/post/1460185

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