I asked her out today, she told me she had a coffee with a friend but they’d love If i join. What do i do?

seduction-ModTeam · 2024-04-02T16:12:16+00:00

This post had to be taken down because it appears to be focused on a specific situation or person. While Field Reports deal with specific situations and people, remember that the focus is different:

A field report explains a lesson learned or demonstrates a Seduction concept.
If the point of this post is asking how to get that specific girl, it is out of bounds except in a Basic Questions Thread.

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SaleganCz · 2024-04-02T11:15:11+00:00

You should go with her friend and show that you are not thrown off by friend's presence, can flirt with both but are interested only in one. It also gives you a reason to leave early as you want to let them have some time just with themselves, by which you will show you are not desperate and understand social situations (i'd strongly suggest in this case to make it 15-30 minutes long max. if it is just coffee and no moving to other locations)

TwistAndStir · 2024-04-02T11:38:53+00:00

Go for it! Go out with two women, niiice! Don't think too much of it, just go and have fun. Maybe she is not sure yet and she feels more comfortable this way, she could have said no for instance. If she likes you, most of the time the friend will go away with am excuse anr you'll remain with her. If that happens, that's your signal, set up the mood, get close, touch her hand, look at her in the eyes, slow down, lean closer, kiss her! Done! Good luck!! And on top of this all other women in the place will look at you, as you are with two other women, that's validation and if it doesn't go well you can always go and strike a conversation with another girl. Remember, have fun and relax, tease them and flirt a little, tell them some jokes and laugh. All the best!

hunterpua · 2024-04-02T11:23:14+00:00

As long as you're not expected to buy, it shouldn't be an issue.

Every interaction you have with someone matters and every interaction you have with someone can move you closer to intimacy with them.

If you have to be alone with someone to feel like you can do anything meaningful then you don't really know how to flirt, you just know how to hit on someone.

Flirting is when you do and say things that make a woman suspect you're into her or suspect you're having naughty thoughts about her but you're being ambiguous and/or subtle enough that she can't be sure and that's even more true for any outside observer.

Someone who really knows how to flirt can do it in front of a woman's parents and not have anyone think you're being inappropriate at all.

I've told this story here before. Still not proud of it but it does a pretty good job of illustrating what I mean when I say "flirting"...

I was once extremely attracted to my cousin's girlfriend.

And at that time I already got to the point of being able to openly sleep with multiple women, so my flirting skills were already pretty good.

We were in the same city for about a week for a family reunion and I seduced his girlfriend right in front of him and he had no idea what was happening.

Because I wasn't hitting on her, I was flirting with her.

Most of what I did was look at her like I wanted to fuck her, which wasn't difficult, because almost every time we saw each other, that's exactly how I felt.

But I didn't just do that. I also cut it out from time to time to ignore her, even when we were part of the same conversation.

Remember, it's just a look. And it wasn't blatant, I wasn't raising my eyebrows, winking at her, or giving her a perverted grin.

It was subtle, so from her perspective, she could feel like something was up but she could also tell herself that she was just misinterpreting.

And me ignoring her sometimes made her think she was misinterpreting even more.

I also said things like, "You seem like trouble", "You're actually kinda alright, I didn't think I'd like you at first", "I'm gonna pretend you didn't just do that because I was just starting to like you", "Stop looking at me like that", etc.

Basically things where there's a sexual subtext to it and given everything else that was going on between us, she interpreted it that way.

Most of that stuff I said in front of my cousin but he thought nothing of it because I played it off like I was just messing with her because she's so annoying. In fact, he often "ganged up on her" with me.

I also did things like walk straight towards her, still looking at her like I wanted to fuck her, also looking like I was gonna grab her and kiss her, only to be like, "Excuse me" and go straight past her to do something else.

All this raised the sexual tension between us so high that by the 3rd day of our family reunion, she pretty much looked for every reason to get close to me.

There was a time when I showed up to see my relatives singing karaoke and as soon as she noticed me, she said, "Hey, we hadn't done a duet yet. Let's do one."

She also looked for excuses to take photos with me and she would grab me and get really close when she did.

She'd always interject into other conversations that I was in, even when no one addressed her, even when its with people she never talked to before.

Long story short, she ended up trying to sleep with me in the hotel room that she and my cousin got for that trip but I didn't go for it because my cousin wasn't in the room but he was in the hotel.

When we went back to our respective cities she also messaged me, telling me to hit her up whenever I was in town.

Anyway, if you can behave like that, you should be able to accomplish a lot from just hanging out with this girl and her friend.

And your situation is even easier because you don't really need to hide the fact that you're attracted to her, all you need to do is not make things too serious or make very big moves to avoid making things awkward.

But the examples I gave here are plenty and will definitely move things forward in a meaningful way between you and this girl.

You may not be able to kiss or sleep with her on the day you hang out with her and her friend but you sure as hell would get much closer to that by doing this stuff.

I've even been in situations where I was with a girl and her friend and kept touching her away from her friend's view, like under the table, behind her back, etc and it got to the point where she made an excuse to separate from her friend just so she could sleep with me.

My advice is be flirty like I illustrated here, make sure they aren't trying to get you to buy them stuff of perform for them and that they're sincere with their invitation to just hang out, and try to leave earlier than they would expect so you don't look desperate just following them around all day.

bloodhail02 · 2024-04-02T12:49:54+00:00

usually women do this because they’re nervous and or want to figure you out. i had this happen to me before and the girl and i ended up pulling on the next time we hung out. go for it dude

field512 · 2024-04-02T10:57:49+00:00

I just wanted to go out with her today

Then tell her that.

SaigonNoseBiter · 2024-04-02T11:57:21+00:00

I'd go and have a good time. Get to know both of them. Make them both like you. Make them laugh. Don't be flirty, but hold eye contact with the girl you like when she's laughing. Share the moment of that laugh and eye contact and show her you like her. But you can't be flirty openly in this situation, you've gotta play it cool. Subtlety is key. You're going to be hanging out with her friend sometimes if you date her, so they want to see if you're good in those situations.

Complicated_Business · 2024-04-02T14:20:59+00:00

Not sure if this is helpful, but here it is.

I met a girl at a meetup once and we clicked pretty well. I got her info and invited her out and she accepted.

What was supposed to be a brief 30 to 45 minute get-to-know-you coffee turned into a 2.5 hour caffeine frenzy as we had so much more in common than we realized. One of the things we bonded over was our dorky fandom of MST3K. She invited me to come with her the following week to a meet and greet with the original cast and I was stoked.

However, two days before the event, she texted to let me know that a guy who was crashing at her place also wanted to go. She asked if I was okay with him coming along.

It's lose lose, right? If I say no problemo, the three of us go and my game goes to hell because I'm good when I'm one on one with someone but terrible when I feel like doing so ignores or otherwise butts out others. The tension would be absolutely dead and I know she'd think something was "off" with our energy, or whatever it is that makes attraction work.

If I say I'd rather him not go, then I sounds like a controlling dickhead who can't handle a woman with a male friend, or that my intentions are less than noble or whatever. I mean, there's no good way out of this.

As politely as I could, I explained that since we've met, I'm more interested in her than the meet and greet and if we can't go together, I'd like to schedule something where we can go do something together.

Well, everything fell apart from there. I never heard her side of the story per se because at that point, I thought it would be too awkward to go to the meetup and she ghosted me from then on.

So, it's anecdotal for sure. But for what it's worth, I'd advise going. Go with the frame of mind that she's bringing you to meet her friend as a kind of litmus test. Even joke about asking the tag along, "How am I doing, would you let your friend go out with me?" Charm can go a long way, but you can't be charming if you're not even there.

Endgame2648 · 2024-04-02T11:50:24+00:00

Hit on both of them. Play the jealousy game.

gucciwillis · 2024-04-02T12:34:07+00:00

you should meet her and her friend, making excuses just makes you seem flaky and saying your shy or nervous of an extra person makes you seem probably not as social as she would like since she’s asking the question. it’s normally to meet new people why not meet 2 at the same time

RedditAtWorkIsBad · 2024-04-02T15:18:58+00:00

In addition to all of the good points I've read here, it is entirely possible that she was telling her friend "I'm not sure about him, maybe I like him but he really seems like more your type".

I went out on a date with a woman only to have her set me up with her sister. Actually had a 1.5 year relationship with her.

Or maybe she just wants safety in numbers, or a low commitment thing.

Don't sweat it, just go and enjoy their company.

sirensoflove · 2024-04-02T11:14:02+00:00

Accept either way it's good practice.

atomant88 · 2024-04-02T11:24:14+00:00

if this is how she reacted to being asked on a DATE then its a very passive aggressive rejection. if you didnt make it clear you wanted to take her on a DATE then its your fault, you friendzoned yourself. SIGNAL INTENT

Fantastic-Life-2024 · 2024-04-02T14:29:24+00:00

This is not good.

VeryScaryUsername · 2024-04-02T15:12:03+00:00

They will size you and gossip about you later. It’s normal. Go. In the future, make sure you let her know If you wanted “ quality time, just me and you.”

Sandvicheater · 2024-04-02T15:37:48+00:00

Girl version of the job interview, she and her friend are gonna grill you gently to see what kind of person you are. Prepare for some light shit tests and the works.

TRTGymBro · 2024-04-02T10:58:17+00:00

You sound pretty desperate, so you should probably go to the date with the friend.

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