Q4W: At What Age Were You First Treated As An Adult? At What Age Was It Consistent?

EulenWatcher · 2024-05-21T21:39:47+00:00

Can you define what you mean as "treated as an adult"?

In terms of having to face responsibility for my actions and choices I think it was growing gradually over time, it wasn't just one moment thing. Financially-wise it was around the university graduation, but I was living separately from my mother since I was 16, although I was still dependent on her financially. But in our culture it's pretty common that kids live with their parents or live on their money till they finish the studies. Parents often pay for education and if they have an opportunity, rent their kids a room/apartment in a city where they study.

januaryphilosopher · 2024-05-21T21:42:50+00:00

I don't think I have been still, at least when it comes to liberties rather than responsibilities (I moved to England when I was eighteen so that's quite unavoidable anyway). I'm seeing a few changes now that I'm married if people know it but still get talked down to etc a lot.

Flightlessbirbz · 2024-05-21T23:03:08+00:00

Treated as an adult in terms of adult men viewing me sexually: about 10 yrs old

Treated as an adult in terms of consistently receiving basic respect and being assumed to be competent in most things: still hasn’t happened and I’m over 30

I am neurodivergent so this probably makes a difference.

YaKnowEstacado · 2024-05-21T23:09:22+00:00

My teenage years were basically all the responsibilities of being an adult (well, not all, but a lot) and none of the freedoms. I was expected to get a job as soon as I legally could, and I had to pay for pretty much everything except housing and food. I bought my own clothes, paid my own phone bill (once I was allowed to get a phone, which was my senior year), bought my own car, paid for my own gas/car insurance etc. I moved out at 17 and went to college without any financial help from my parents.

On the other hand, I had a strict curfew, wasn't allowed to see certain friends outside of school, wasn't allowed to date, wasn't allowed to cut my hair (religious thing), wasn't allowed to wear certain clothes, etc. So still very much treated like a kid in a lot of ways.

I guess when I moved out at 17 is when I started to really feel like an adult. But even then, I moved back in with my parents for one summer in college and was still expected to adhere to a curfew and not allowed to have a guy over etc. I'm 35 and married with kids now and am quite certain my dad would still treat me like a kid I lived in his house lol

Sillysheila · 2024-05-21T21:46:17+00:00

I grew up in a big city with two working parents, so I actually started picking up adult like responsibilities from quite a young age.

From age 10-12, I could cook very basic meals in the microwave and oven, I did a lot of animal care for my family, I did laundry, washed dishes, picked up shopping, went on the bus/train by myself regularly. I actually didn’t mind this because I really wanted to be a grown up lol, and would often volunteer to do things like baby my dogs, give them baths and walk them. No one would make me do some things.

From age 15-16 if for whatever reason my parents had to be out of town for a long time, or something happened and I had to live alone I think I would’ve been fine. By then I was pretty much doing like 80-90% of things independently and the last 10-20% I learned in my 20s (money management, paying bills, mental health, taxes, jobs etc) but I mean I could’ve easily learned about the other bits earlier than that if there was an absolute need for it.

chalkandapples · 2024-05-21T21:53:28+00:00

Depends what you mean treated like an adult. As we age we gradually get more responsibility and trust and it's hard to know when that becomes an adult.

I kinda always felt respected in terms of my own wants and autonomy to the extent I wanted it at any age. She took my words and thoughts very seriously even as a small child even when they're objectively ridiculous.

On the other hand, my mom still babies me in many other situations today. Like making me food, handling errands, going to doctor's and hair appointments with me etc.

GridReXX · 2024-05-22T01:02:59+00:00

Since this is a debate sub about dating I’ll assume “adult” means sexualized.

I was sexualized by adult men ~8. Sort of jolted me into some somber realities about the world.

I got my period at 11. So even having to worry about that monthly was probably more responsibility than my male peers had at the same age, all else equal.

Excellent_Badger123 · 2024-05-22T02:09:39+00:00

By 10 I was the main “adult” in my household. I mediated sibling and parent disputes, cooked, cleaned. By 16 I moved out, became a caretaker for my elderly grandmother, had a part time job & school, adult responsibilities. By 17 I moved to a bigger city, worked 2 part time jobs, went to college full time & was totally self sufficient.

apresonly · 2024-05-21T22:35:06+00:00

at 5 is when i started dieting to improve my appearance

also when i had to get myself up for kindergarten as parents worked and weren't home, got ready, got breakfast and then walked around 6 blocks to school

around that time i started having to help with cooking and cleaning while the men and boys of all ages in my fam sat on their asses (every single woman working also had a full time job)

started babysitting at 9, first time i got kicked out of the house (for fighting w my sis) was around this age

by 11 i was doing my own laundry and the older women around me started criticizing my appearance and dress (i would literally get emails with everything i was doing wrong listed out, my family sucks)

at 13 my parents stopped buying me stuff bc i had odd jobs (shampoo, tampons, clothes) but would still like pay for me at restaurants and stuff

16 started working and driving

17 graduated hs

20 graduated college

21 full time job running events for hundreds of people

egalitarian-flan · 2024-05-21T22:05:18+00:00

If you mean given significant responsibilities over the care and health of people younger than yourself...age 11.

Consistent was by 13.

I got my working papers and had a part-time after school job by 15.

Got my driving permit and bought a $1000 clunker car at 16.

Left home at 17.

toasterchild · 2024-05-21T23:56:03+00:00

My family adultified me and I felt like a full grown adult who knew better than most by 20. However, since I look really young for my age strangers make weird ass assumptions about me. My favorites are when moronic salespeople still assume I have no money and that I'm just wasting their time. I've had salespeople in stores pretend they can't see me and Ive had others tell me flat out I can't afford things. I had a window salesman out last year who straight up told me he wouldn't quote what I wanted because it was "too expensive". I'm sure when I didn't call back he assumed it was because the quote was too high while actually I went with the guy who quoted what I wanted for 3 times the price, fucking idiot.

GlamSunCrybabyMoon · 2024-05-22T00:17:02+00:00

About 9/10. I was expected to do dishes and laundry for everyone in the house, take care of my little brother, whatever Cinderella nonsense my parents could think of. I was able to cook for myself. I was also a latchkey kid so I was expected to not blow the house up.

I started getting cat called at that age too. I got my period at 9 and was told that I’m a woman now. Which is crazy to think that in the eyes of others, I was only a child for 9 years.

What is insane is watching my brother grow up and no one had any of the same expectations of him. Not expected to cook, do laundry, clean up, help anyone, or anything. It has created two very different people from the same household.

sublimemongrel · 2024-05-22T00:24:53+00:00

I’m treated like an adult in terms of competence but am treated like a child/young woman sometimes in terms of some sort of perceived need to be “protected”. I have multiple male bosses at my office who pay me exceedingly well and want me to succeed - I have zero doubts about this. But they also will jump on me at times and use some sort of “we just want to protect you/we care about you like a little sister excuse” when it comes to criticizing me. It’s infuriating. They see me stressed out and act like it’s this big fucking deal as if they/other male colleagues aren’t also stressed out and have to deal with it 🙄

Planthoe30 · 2024-05-22T02:18:22+00:00

I’ll never been an adult to my parents they have always babied me. It’s frustrating sometimes. At work I get mistaken for being one of the kids by people who don’t know me until I open my mouth. However people who know me will ask for my advice on various things or look to me to take the lead handling crises at work. I don’t think I’m assumed to be competent by most people initially though. I’m beyond 30. I feel at least people who know me treated me like a competent adult probably around 22 when I began pretending I was 30.

MistyMaisel · 2024-05-22T00:39:25+00:00

I started being sexualized by adults around 8-9 and I was a late bloomer (didn't tits or menstruate until around 16). So yeah, that's fun.

In terms of like treated with respect and competence, I would say it varies a lot by people. I think in general I noticed a shift around the age of 26-27? That was intensely frustrating as a hyper competent and capable human that was making very smart adult decisions around the age of 15 (getting a job, saving money, entering college and completing 1.5 years prior to graduating high school, not going away for college to save money, etc.)

If you mean by parents...probably around 24?

NJFlowerchild · 2024-05-21T21:43:41+00:00

At What Age Was It Consistent?

By 15 for certain.

SeveralSadEvenings · 2024-05-21T22:48:34+00:00

Despite moving out at 18 and getting married at 20 I was coddled by my parents for a very long time.

It wasn't until I was about 35 that I felt like people treated me like an adult with some manner of authority.

I don't think I present as immature or young, I'm just honest about what I don't know and people feel compelled to fill in the gaps for me.

Novadina · 2024-05-22T02:40:53+00:00

Depends on what you mean.

Getting sexual comments you would expect only adults should get, around 11.

Online, 13, when I let people assume I was an adult man on tech forums (I didn’t claim it, but they always assumed and I didn’t correct them).

Paying all my own bills, 17, when I left home.

Being treated as fully competent in my field (tech), I’d say 38-40.

SlothMonster9 · 2024-05-22T07:04:58+00:00

I've always looked younger and I have a positive bubbly personality, so you can imagine people didn’t take me seriously because they thought i was naive. I think around 24 is when I was started to consistently be treated as an adult.

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Title	Q4W: At What Age Were You First Treated As An Adult? At What Age Was It Consistent?
Author	IronDBZ
Upvotes	13
Comments	46
Date	May 21, 2024 9:31 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1cxjert/q4w_at_what_age_were_you_first_treated_as_an/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4w-at-what-age-were-you-first-treated-as-an-adult.1519145 https://theredarchive.com/post/1519145

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