Looking for flings, hookups; but all the women i meet want a relationship.

testylentil · 2024-08-23T17:04:54+00:00

Escalate early. You're probably not flirting, displaying sexual interest, touching, kissing early enough.

You gotta make moves. Compliment a girl's lips. Say she has nice lips. Tell her that her dress makes her look sexy, that her body is messing with your head. She should be a model. She should give you a private fashion show. Her perfume is turning you on. Don't sniff her arm or anything weird like that.

Make a dirty joke but look innocent about it and confused, genuine, have some sexual banter. Say something and look her firmly in the eyes, openly, eye fucking, give her a longing look. Take her to a club and dance with her up close.

At the same time though don't be too serious. Goof off a bit. I'm not the biggest fan of negging unless it's super playful, but I think making jokes at your own expense can work. Girls like a good embarassing story. I also like over-the-top bragging. "I got the best dance moves here. They don't wanna see me throw down." Find out her hobbies and boast about how good you are at them. If she likes tennis, she probably can't return your serve. Cooking, your beef stroganoff will blow her mind. Mix in light hearted humor with flirtatious sexual fervor.

I struggled with this for the longest. My biggest fear is that i would look like a creep, or a weirdo or a pervert, or silly. The best fix is practice. Fail. Find out what works for your personal vibe and what doesn't. The secret though is typically that you're moving too slow.

I was chatting up a girl at a club once. Had no idea how to make a move. She took charge and shoved her ass in my crotch and we grinded and danced for a minute. Then she said I had to kiss her. The way she said it was like a 'what have you been waiting for dude.' Helped me realize that I could speed up the process, but not super desperate-like.

drunkenpossum · 2024-08-23T17:26:43+00:00

The real answer is that women value straight-up physical attractiveness above all else when it comes to casual relationships. Game comes secondary to that. If you aren't a standout guy in physical attractiveness, getting casual relationships with women is going to be a challenge. Women have their pick of the litter when it comes to casual relationships because they have endless opportunities for it, they generally want tall and buff/muscular men as casual partners.

I'm very tall but used to be very, very skinny with stick arms and a baby face; women only saw me as a serious partner when I was like that. Over the past decade I put on 50-60 lbs while working out consistently and filled out my arms, chest, and back. Also grew my hair out, and my face matured with age. Now I get women who are ok with having casual relationships with me pretty regularly.

Amazing_Noise_5945 · 2024-08-23T16:20:50+00:00

oh wow, bro, we are so the same. I am a nice and genuine guy; women usually want a relationship with me.

OkProfessional9405 · 2024-08-23T18:44:36+00:00

Women hook up with guys they just find overwhelmingly attractive and value the experience of hooking up just for the sake of hooking up with someone like that.

For everyone else they want a relationship with they are seeking investment.

Several_Ad_8363 · 2024-08-23T16:26:15+00:00

I'm now friends with a girl that i was hoping to turn into a fwb but i fear she's falling for me.

Are you having sex with her?

They always break up, or someone catches feelings, or someone dies of old age. None of those are real problems, as long as you enjoyed it while it lasted.

Don't "date" them once you've slept with them, keep it to sex only if that's all you want, and they will be less likely to get confused. But she has to look after herself and her own feelings too.

50ate · 2024-08-23T16:38:48+00:00

You' re giving boyfriend vibes in the first moments of the conversation

SnooHesitations4922 · 2024-08-23T16:07:42+00:00

Women behave in accordance with how they categorize each individual guy they talk to.

The same women that want an ltr with you will still be sleeping with some guy that don't even try to get to know her.

You have to be an expendable idiot. Maybe u come off as a catch. Dumb it down a little.

Dzxrz · 2024-08-23T17:25:33+00:00

I mean if you almost 30 I'm sure you approaching women in they late 20s and 30s even some in their 40s. That's the age women want a serious long term relationship into marriage. They not teenagers anymore.

All the girls I fucked with in their late 20s and 30s wanted to get married cuz theyr bio clock was running out of time. You can't blame them tho.

ooa3603 · 2024-08-24T07:06:47+00:00

I'm not a pump and dump guy, i would feel guilty lying to and breaking hearts of women. But is it the actual way?

It's not, but you might actually be revealing too much of you genuine kindness for what you're seeking.

There's a kind of tactic many women have where if they meet a guy who is even moderately attractive and genuinely not an asshole, they try and pivot into turning him into BF even if they were initially down for something casual.

It's because many women genuinely think every guy is an asshole and while many guys are, there are just as many who aren't that they aren't really aware of.

There are a lot of factors behind this, traditional hyper-masculinity makes abusive jackasses out of men. Women can tend to have unintentional filters (from their own double standards or idiotic ideas of romance) that weed out decent guys. Not to mention human psychology is biased towards negativity, and after a encounters with enough clueless and/or macho jackasses, most girls are trying to turn every semi-decent guy into a long term relationship.

It's annoying sometimes because you can almost see it happening in real time when you know what to look for.

Ultimately if you're trying to hookup or get involved in anything casual, just steer the interactions that way as soon as possible and make it clear that those are your intentions.

You do not have to be a jackass, but don't spend too long trying to talk her into sex. Women don't actually need nearly as much time to decide to fuck you as popular convention says. What they need is for you to be physically attractive enough for them and mentally engaging and interesting. A couple meetups doing something fun and an invite to your place is all you need. Obviously the regular social rules of not being to pushy and/or clingy still apply and you still need to show some of that genuine kindness, but only just enough to show that she'll be safe around you. After that just be more playful and unserious.

As for this current girl, just be honest and say what you said to us.

You were looking for something casual but you are inexperienced and didn't know how to communicate it without being offensive.

That will likely be the end of anything sexual with her, but now you know that in the future casual intentions need to be made known earlier rather than later so that you don't end up in a situation where she's trying to convert you into a long term relationship if that's not what you want.

Hour_One_9504 · 2024-08-23T16:13:04+00:00

Uhhh u got to be subtle.

Broke_Cuckroach · 2024-08-23T20:06:21+00:00

Bhai from my experience I can tell women like to be ignored. There was this girl. Till the time I was putting efforts to please her she was behaving cocky and once I stopped pleasing she all of a sudden just wants to go under sheets.

JustNefariousness625 · 2024-08-23T22:12:41+00:00

You not fuckboy enough lol, if they’re women of value that’s not the worst problem to have. It’s when the toss ups want a relationship when it’s a problem

WiiWynn · 2024-08-24T01:06:22+00:00

You’re not fuckable enough. Women do flings with really buff/jacked guys or really rich guys. You’re just a cute guy with long term prospects. You might also have no game and come off as a nice guy.

Flirt more, be naughty do they don’t have to be the one leading it. If they want to be a slut that night, you’ll have to make it seem it was your idea and they were just going with it.

_FIRECRACKER_JINX · 2024-08-23T19:11:59+00:00

The ISSUE is your physique. As a woman who has looked for FWBs and hookups on dating apps, with the intention of a sex-only type of ordeal.

I only selected the finest, fittest, tallest, most attractive gym bros.

Maybe go to the gym and focus on getting shredded. There ARE women on the apps looking for hookups/FWB only, and hooking up is VERY much a physical endeavor. So focus on improving your looks and fitness.

ExtensionSmile629 · 2024-08-23T20:00:20+00:00

Where are you meeting this women lol?

woah-itz-drew · 2024-08-24T11:47:52+00:00

Funnily the opposite for me. Want something legit but most women my age just wanna hook up. Probably cuz I’m still in college.

yardapesbb · 2024-08-24T14:58:15+00:00

They all want a relationship but once they are comfortable with you they will settle for other options.

BandicootDull3482 · 2024-08-25T11:02:06+00:00

Being a woman I can tell you I would only hook up with very attractive dudes. The rest is for long term relationships. When I see potential in a man I don’t get sexual very quickly. When I he’s “just” hot OR has extremely good game, I’d let him smash bc my mind is in a different place then. Also I would ALWAYS say I’m not looking for hook ups (even though I might be) bc this is expected from women by society. So a woman saying that doesn’t necessarily mean she means it ;)

PureFlames · 2024-08-23T21:31:00+00:00

Crazy how i have the opposite problem, all the girls around me only wanna hookup

Title	Looking for flings, hookups; but all the women i meet want a relationship.
Author	Confident_Ease5562
Upvotes	107
Comments	79
Date	August 23, 2024 3:59 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1ezgep4/looking_for_flings_hookups_but_all_the_women_i/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/looking-for-flings-hookups-but-all-the-women-i.1528135 https://theredarchive.com/post/1528135

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