Which do ya’ll prefer, cold approach or social circle?

LonerOnSorensen · 2024-09-10T14:58:02+00:00

With respect to your friendship, not judging him as a person - but he comes across as avoiding the negative feelings that may come with rejections from cold approach. Women respect the confidence that comes with cold approach, although there is nothing inherently wrong with dating through social circles.

Sea-Respect-4678 · 2024-09-10T15:50:56+00:00

I personally prefer cold approach, but my cold approach method is a bit different. I love meeting women dancing. I am a fairly good dancer myself and it involves many "qualifiers" immediately. If someone is out listening to music, that already includes a couple commonalities. Similar music tastes and enjoying "going out." I am very comfortable asking women for a dance. If they enthusiastically say yes, then that shows me they are a bit more willing to go with the flow and have fun. During the dance, I gain a lot of insight into them: athletic ability and propensity towards an active lifestyle, ability to follow well (aside from actual skill) shows a willingness to be led in other areas of life, how they move and connect with me physically hints at potential sexual compatibility, and it is a great speed dating opportunity to B.S. during a dance. I am a good lead, so its an instant turn on for most women. Also, its a great "speed Date" opportunity to BS and ask basic questions about who they are. Another thing is that it immediately breaks the touch barrier. Ive gotten countless phone numbers this way and a good handful of follow up dates. Really every man should learn how to dance, and dance well. Its a perfect game booster.

Social circles have never worked out quite so well for me. If awkwardness or bad dates come up it makes things awkward for the "group." If drama happens I want an option to leave that far away from my social circle. I keep the intial phases of dating separate from my social circle. After a period of time I will introduce to my friends and such.

PutridPrice9831 · 2024-09-10T16:59:27+00:00

Social circle can help you get a girlfriend above your SMV if you have status in that circle.

Other than that, it’s too low volume to have a regular dating life. Unless you’re working in nightlife and are always surrounded by new hot women.

The odds of an attractive girl in your social circle who is single and also attracted to you is low. There’s also awkwardness that comes with bad dates and can harm your reputation in the circle.

Lots of yuppie women also avoid dating within the social circle to avoid drama. They keep their sex life and social life separate by meeting men through bars/ dating apps.

puma085 · 2024-09-11T05:59:58+00:00

I prefer cold approach. Cold approach is the only way to go because it is not limited to age and other circumstances you cannot controll. As long you are young social circle game is great. It is a carefree way to meet new people without leaving your comfort zone. But as soon as you hit a certain point in your life social circle game is a waste of time. At one point in your life trying to meet people in your social circle is as pointless as looking for snow flake in the desert.

Wing_Inevitable · 2024-09-10T17:34:26+00:00

Which do ya’ll prefer, cold approach or social circle?

Cold approach particularly night game

I respect a whole lot because cold approach doesn’t align with his morals.

Good for him. May he slay the pussy that he wants.

I’m just curious to see anyone’s perspective.

I’m quite opinionated so…YOU HAVE COME TO THE RIGHT PLACE .

Cold approach pros: -more efficient, because if you going to meet a stranger why not ask? They aren’t going to appear in your life if they reject you. You’ll probably never see them again.

Protecting your social status. Yes I agree.

-feels a lot more direct and blunt which is more my philosophy on being genuine. I simply ask if she wants to go out.

This would be a tactical mistake when it comes to “game”

But yes it is more to the point than dating friends

-Boost confidence.

Also true

Add to the list :

Less risk in general - If things don’t work out you don’t risk a friend group imploding. Applies to almost every aspect of dating.
Generally more fun (like I can’t push things on my friends, but on strangers)
Allows for different approaches
You are allowed to f-up
Real Social status (unless you make it) is not a factor
Generally Hotter girls.
More sexually free. In friend groups Girls will hold back more as to not seem like sluts.
More (I’m doing this from the top of my head)

Cons: -first few dates, you guys are complete strangers. I notice on my first date, it can be awkward because it just both of you.

Disagree - this is more on you. I talk more openly cuz I don’t care about what they think of me.

-not really knowing person as well as you need. Well you still don’t know well enough and their habits then feeling get hurt.

This is just false. You never know anybody that well.

The thing here is with more practice you start to get people better. So It would be the opposite.

Also people lie. Sometimes for decades.

-[disclaimer] I feel like most people view cold approach as just for hookup and sex. A lot of people see this as turn off.

Well good thing - “Facts don’t care about your feelings”

You lack enough xp to get this - but again it works the opposite.

Women don’t care. And love sex.

What is a turn off is someone not getting it OR connecting with someone that isn’t sexually appealing.

Add to list :

Higher skill requirement.
More work. (Apps being an exception)

Social circle/friend first pros:

This was 4 years of my life full time and still do it on occasion.

-it easier to feel a person out and their personality.

It would be harder. Fear of being judged and all.

(Read anything about “Anti - Slut Defence” - it is the same concept)

Again women love sex. You wouldn’t know it unless you have actually seen it. Cuz they don’t talk about it publicly (unless they are stupid or mentally ill)

Things will feel more organic.

What are you a farmer ?

Also “Facts don’t care about your feelings”

It (to a woman) cold approach feels more organic (Watch any romantic movie for reference there is a 90% chance the leads met randomly)

You can figure out your potential partner more and how they behave.

0 chance. I have lied for over 5 years as to who I’m. They can too.

Like do have toxic traits.

You can’t tell. Buddy this is not a fan fiction. People are supper good at hiding BAD things (unless they are stupid or mentally ill )

What’s their preference?

The same as everyone else.

-having a stronger bond because you know each other longer so you won’t have to play catch up.

Sure. Though I don’t see why that would be the opposite in game.

You can build that bond in a few dates (which btw doesn’t mean you are dating just casually hanging out and plowing later )

-being a social circle in my opinion is more fun

This is an opinion so I can’t bitch about it. But I prefer the carnage of night game.

It is its own little story in the course of the night (I like romantic movies and I like the emotional beats - so that fits me more)

because everyone knows each other and more like a friend group.

Yes you are more likely to be friends.

So easier to open up and have more comfortable vibe when you do enter a relationship

You are missing a step.

-they probably feel more comfortable about hanging out with you since they see you as a friend.

Meh. Depends on the girl. Though I have seen more girls refuse to hang out 1 on 1 with guy friends. Than women refusing dates.

Add to list :

Less skill required
Fixes the biggest % loss (the open)
Rejection will be a meh one (as in “I’m not looking for anyone” “ or I don’t see you in that way” - the not hurt his feelings way)

Cons: -can be very messy at any point of relationship. You could be judge in the social group being a creep if fails. Feels can be hurt if you and a friend both have feelings for a girl.

True.

-high risk, high reward.

High risk - about the same reward.

Let’s be honest it takes time even at its fastest.

Not really - You just do it slow. It is about the speed of a 2 date cold approach (for reference)

With a certain skill (you get from cold approaching) it can at its fastest take 10 min - you already have the groups approval and you are 100% guarantied to open.

This should be a sure thing unless you already fucked it by connecting or making yourself one of the girls.

it’s no big deal.

If you get rejected in a social group situation - 1 you are a weirdo they have to hang out with.

“You acted like their friend and now you want to smash” is the thought process from a girls perspective.

You have but effort and time if you active try to pursue them.

This is disgusting to women. If she liked you- You wouldn’t have to peruse them.

-it just harder honestly.

Wrong. Easier. The biggest problem in cold approach is fixed (opening) and you have an advantage everyone likes you.

Speed is a key factor in any situation - You taking too long to move things forward is a problem.

I hate saying game because

????

You high key need it because if you don’t you’ll just end up in the friend circle.

You need it in any scenario.

Add to list :

Not good for abundance
Limited selection of girls.
Most girls have the same personality
Rather dull as it has - no fails starts.
Relationships will have to stay together for the friends sake.
Social status is a factor (aka High school game for reference)
Little practical application outside of the cycle (aka you could only date your friends)
You are not allowed to f-up (do to both social status and friend group implosions and lack of available girls ) so this leads to a safer less effective style of game

But I’m just wondering which guy do you prefer?

Night game specifically.

epimpstyle · 2024-09-10T17:03:41+00:00

The social circle is simpler, it is the traditional way people know each other. Sometimes a friend of yours will introduce you to someone, but before they do, they will tell you a few words about the other person, so you start with an advantage.

AntiDyatlov · 2024-09-11T00:26:27+00:00

I think I would prefer social circle if I had a social circle (long story). My issue with cold approach is that it just seems wrong, like something that is just intrinsically creepy. We don't strike up conversations with strangers in the street in my culture (Puerto Rico).

Mark Manson says you can still do it if you acknowledge you're doing something unusual, but I still struggle with it. I made a post about it, but it seems it needs moderator approval or something? It's not up.

Numbaonenewb · 2024-09-11T06:56:11+00:00

Ever considered working on self love and being in an energy that draws in the right connection to you that is meaningful instead of some lame person who you get bored of very soon and on to the next?

NiceGuysDatingCoach · 2024-09-11T10:08:48+00:00

I have a somewhat different philosophy, so it ended up being a mixture of social circle and situational warm approaches - sometimes cold, sometimes slightly warm. Therefore, if I were to pick, I would definitely say that I use social circle a lot, but I find cold approaches more exciting.

I never went out to specifically approach girls (with a few exceptions), so you could even argue that I never did truly cold approaches. Instead I integrated meeting new people into my daily life - be it on the bus, during sports, dancing, university, parties, you name it. I just don't think the time investment is worth it. If the dating didn't work out, I invited them into my social circle if they were interesting enough. If we hooked up, and they were interesting enough, I also integrated them into my social circle.

In the end, the social circle ended up full of easy-going non-judgemental people. This lead to many threesomes, new people being brought in from outside for a lot of shenanigans and all of that with a minimum of drama.

Makakka2002 · 2024-09-10T19:49:51+00:00

Both. I have 1 romantic circle lead running for state boost and do cold for quick hookups for sexual vibe so nice synergy. It makes it easier to escalate fast cold and to play the long game on circle bc circle is like corresponding chess sloooowwww

Ancient-Position-696 · 2024-09-10T21:22:36+00:00

Social circle. But not an immediate social circle.

bannedcanceled · 2024-09-10T22:37:19+00:00

Well i dont have any friends so cold approach it is

Affectionate-Ant4888 · 2024-09-11T05:38:44+00:00

cold approach at night clubs is the absolute best approach to practice and get numbers fast, pretty women are seldom alone so you would need to open the whole group lol

Fuzzy_Carpet_8169 · 2024-11-17T07:43:55+00:00

Seems to me that women are far more picky with looks when it comes to cold-approach than when it does on social circles.

Mc_Dickles · 2024-09-10T18:16:24+00:00

Dating in social circles is easier but it’s very limiting imo. Most of the time it’ll happen through events like birthdays or something where you’ll meet those friends and branch off, so you’re basically waiting for the next in person event for you to even potentially meet someone. There’s also the cons of getting a bad rep and being seen as a player if you’re constantly trying to get with the girls in your life.

With cold approach there’s a limitless amount of women you can meet, you can try your luck with girls that are just a little bit out your league, and there’s no gossip or opinions following you the way they might if you try to get with your friends friends.

Leewaak · 2024-09-10T19:53:25+00:00

I prefer social media approach, you can spam Hundreds of DMs a week, 1-2 will bite every time plus i be chilling in my own room

i dont have to travel to different spots, try out different bars and different places, and walk a shit ton, plus buy drinks every bar so you dont look out of place, plus you have to uber or drive back and forth

I just be chilling in my room, and spamming dms, i learned how to text and flirt and keep convos interesting thru text throughout the years, by the end of each week i’ll get 1-2 girls on dates if i did well

All from chilling in my room

Title	Which do ya’ll prefer, cold approach or social circle?
Author	Dismal-Ad6885
Upvotes	9
Comments	40
Date	September 10, 2024 2:18 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1fdizhq/which_do_yall_prefer_cold_approach_or_social/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/which-do-yall-prefer-cold-approach-or-social.1530041 https://theredarchive.com/post/1530041

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