I get zero action on dating apps

norwegiandoggo · 2024-09-17T16:59:02+00:00

Here are some steps to reduce nervousness around this whole "approaching women" business.

Don't approach directly by hitting on them..have a plausible excuse for why you're talking to them. Then check for interest after that. This is much less scary than blurting out a "you're so pretty i had to come say hello" kind of approach.
You don't have to do anything accept approach. Don't go straight for getting success all the way. Just make approaching itself.the goal. Just approach with a simple excuse and then leave the girl alone. Boom. Approach completed. Going baby steps is a great way to build up your confidence.
Relax your muscles and breathe deeply. If you do that it's very difficult to remain anxious at the same time.

Best of luck!

averageguy694200 · 2024-09-17T16:13:05+00:00

I’d join group activities you’re into to meet ppl. The top 10% of hottest/wealthiest dudes are the only ones cleaning up on the apps. The rest of us just get the scraps, so you’re definitely not alone

SplashGodNate · 2024-09-17T15:54:30+00:00

If you go to a bar or a party, there’s probably a 50-60% chance they’ll just approach you if you’re as good looking as you say. That’s been my experience at least. I’m personally not a fan of the cold approach, I usually just meet people through mutual friends

genericriffs · 2024-09-17T16:37:01+00:00

I was the same way as you. I’ve been approached by women in public so I know I’m not ugly. But as time went on the apps started getting worse and worse. I felt dumb for wasting so much time on them and getting no results. I finally deleted them for good and I’ve been getting way better results just from going out and being social

BrauchoLion · 2024-09-17T18:21:28+00:00

Some women only use dating apps to elevate their selfsteem, sometimes competing with eachother to SEE who gets more "swipes" My advice, don't take that shit seriously. Some of that woman don't Even worth it, it's just like that. They are so proud that some men wanna fuck them while they know for sure they can never Have The type of men they really want in their lifes. Don't play that Game, approach on real life.

MrAnonPoster · 2024-09-17T16:08:16+00:00

Honestly I do not understand why it is so bloody difficult for the dumb-ass men to understand -- you cannot change women. It does not matter that you think they should swipe on you because you are attractive and you do what you think is attractive. They will swipe "yes" on those they think are attractive:

if you want to get action on dating apps you must:

look good. No, not in words of your mother. No, not in words of someone who themselves is pining for a cave troll. Actually look good. This means:

* be fucking lean - as in you need to have a six visible six pack outline when you do not flex and an actual six pack when you flex. This is about 10(!) percent body fat as measured by DEXA or MRI, not the discounted version of Greg Douchebag you can find in your gym who uses calipers. Again, contrary to the bullshit and cope you read and watch on the interwebs 10-11 percent body fat all year around is absolutely achievable and used to be a norm for reasonably fit dudes even in mid-1990s. Now, are you going to be bench pressing 350lb for reps and "competing in body building"? Nope, you probably won't be. You also won't be getting approving noises from other gymcels who are in their perma bulking stage (aka: excuse to stuff their faces) but instead of getting action from other men who admire copers like Mike "my balls are the size of raisins but at least i'm big" Israetel, you are going to be getting Jenny and Stacy trying to see if it is true that dudes with six pack don't get tired doing a thrusting motion after 10 minutes.

* Have lean working muscles - can you bang out 10 full range of motion, zero momentum pullups, no goosenecking, chin well over the bar? Can do you 25 full ROM full, full plank out to full lock out at the top strict pushups? That's the body that gets responses. Not a bodybuilder. Not a gym bro. Not a Homer Simpson. You don't have that? You are searching for water in the Sahara.

* Have clothes that show off that body. This means the clothes *must fit you well*, the colors should work for your skin tone. This is the same story - do you know why body builders wear baggy clothes? Because most of them look like Shreks during the off season and victims of Nazi experiments when they are "in season". Women do not like either of those two looks. There are a bunch of videos on youtube (it was all the rage a few years ago so it was done in pretty much every country with reasonable reach on youtube) where a bunch of women were asked to rate men in front of them - about the same height with masks over their heads. Homer Simpsons and bodybuilders did the same - pretty much no one picked them. Lean guys who did MMA, tennis, climbing, skiing and springing cleaned up.

Have high quality photos of (1). No, your ghetto selfie in a bathroom does not count. Without the good photos they cannot see that you have (1)
Have photos that show that you might have an interesting life i.e. no hobo-ism, no videogam-ism, no gym-bro-ism, no baboon-ism.

If you do not have that, you at best will get swipes from absolute cave trolls who want to have you take them to some fast food place.

csgecko · 2024-09-17T17:40:05+00:00

you need to be near model tier to succeed on dating apps these days

“Good looking” just isn’t cutting it anymore

CharmingRejector · 2024-09-17T19:02:52+00:00

You're not alone!

Here's how you become social when going out:

Speak to everyone. Also men. But keep it short.

Say hi how's it going to the first crowd or table after entering the room. This is important bcos this is how you build social momentum to work the room.

Simply give a cheer or give a compliment of the type, you look like the life of the party, or you look like a fun crowd, something like that, lo fi. Then perhaps ask where they were before they came here, and if it was any good, or - if you're new in town - ask about where the best place to meet new peeps is, or where the hot spots are.

If you run out of things to say, or it gets awkward, or you simply want to move on, say this: Well, I gotta go talk to my friends, but nice chatting with you. I'll be right over there if you need anything. Then move to the next table and group. Rinse and repeat.

While you do this, look out for IOIs from women. And don't be surprised if bros buy you beer or you are presented to eligible women in their crowds. Also, if a women you half-opened like this comes and hovers next to you at the bar, it's because she wants you to re-open her, so do so. "Oh hi, you're xyz from this or that gang?"

This way of doing things casts you as a cool and social yet non-pushy type. You're just passing by and being a bit polite and cool. That is all. Spreading some joy. Meanwhile you quickly learn the lay of the land, and which women are available or not, in a super casual and subtle way.

Since you only re-open women after, you never have worry about "approaching" women, not in the traditional sense, anyway. There is no "performance" needed. You don't have to "impress" her. And most importantly you won't have to "muster confidence" to "go over to her" cuz she'll make sure to be close enough to you cuz she's curious about you, which simplifies things a lot. Then simply talk to her. Or take the hint if she's obviously far away from her friends, and offer to call a cab for the two or you or whatever.

At that point pulling becomes scary easy, and as long as you're real casual about it, then you won't even have to "do" anything for it either. After talking for a while, I usually go, "Well, I gotta go... Yeah gonna head home, get a glass of wine and watch some Netflix... You coming?" And boom. We're outta there.

All the best!

carlos11111111112 · 2024-09-17T16:31:00+00:00

Online will always be easier specially if you are good looking. I don’t know any guy who gets laid a lot from cold approach. The most successful guy I know closes about 12 per year, but he goes out pretty much every single day.

You can try deleting your account, giving it a break and making a new one, this will boost your account. Also play around with preferences or visit other cities

TransitionOk9918 · 2024-09-17T17:52:59+00:00

If apps don’t work for you they don’t work for you. I know good looking people that got 0 results on apps and below average people that get a lot of traffic. People tend to underestimate that amount of effort that it takes to have a good profile, you need to go to places, be with the right person to take them and know how to pose and to know how to build it. And in my opinion put the effort on it will make you focus on things that aren’t really important, it’s the ugliest form of “fake” culture. Just go and approach women on bars, street etc. delete the apps keep online dating only for instagram.

MO_drps_knwldg · 2024-09-17T18:58:16+00:00

It’s hard to tell without seeing pictures and reading specific profile answers. Picture are king. You might be in good shape and attractive, but it’s not being conveyed through your pictures

RandoRambo1 · 2024-09-17T19:49:00+00:00

Most women meet most men via: - social circle (guys her girlfriends introduce her to) - ex’s - coworkers - fwb’s - girls nights out

Women very rarely meet with guys from dating apps (unless you are too 3-5% in looks and/or money). Women are banging guys from the 5 avenues listed above, with the vast majority coming from guys her girlfriends introduce her to. Figure out how to be that guy. A really great starting point is to get female wingmen, be hot enough that these women trust you, and that introducing you to one of her girlfriends will be a win, and you won’t embarrass her. You need to be hot, and leverage these avenues to your advantage. I am currently banging a chick in all 5 of these avenues in a rotation, but female wingmen and my social circles yield the highest return. Note that when you meet a woman through a mutual friend (ie. female wingman), the added social proof that her friends are giving you, will automatically build your value in her eyes. This is why beta males rely on social circle game because their only real value add (besides security) is the social proof her mutual friends are giving you (most marriages stem from social circle game and mutual friends). If you can add alpha traits and increased value on top of that social proof, you will have incredibly high value in that woman’s eyes before even meeting her. Social proof = your value is already pre-loaded before she meets you. It’s just on you to be attractive and not unattractive from there.

srwat · 2024-09-17T15:56:43+00:00

For dating apps, look at examples of what a successful profile looks like, there are methods to that.

You can meet someone anywhere. Don’t think too far ahead. Just talk with them, don’t bore them, and if they want to talk more, look at you, you just made a friend. If they don’t, at least you got a brief interaction in to start your day.

Don’t hide the fact you are a man in a conversation, but don’t get sexual unless who you are talking to does it first. These are maybe two of the best tips for you.

mph99999 · 2024-09-17T19:36:31+00:00

Good looking Is a powerful pair of words nowadays, times have changed, if you see the new generations the average guy Is good looking, the average girl is also good looking.

On dating apps you need to be in the top 10% to get chances with decent girls, maybe top 5% for good looking ones, that's just how the market is, tinder and all the apps dont attract as many girls as men, they are viewed as hookup apps. The ratios are much better on dating sites where people are looking for "love". I tried counting it, on ok Cupid the male to female ratio was 5 to 1, on a sex hookup site It was like 100 to 1, on tinder in my country the statistics Say 11 to 1.

Try proper dating sites like eharmony or things like that.

You will get even better odds if you manage to pull of things casually in real life, strike casual conversations when opportunity arise. If you want to be persistent on tinder, you have to max every detail, hair, skin care, pictures quality, eat healthy(no sugars, monounsaturated fat instead of sat fat, balance between carbs/pro/fata, fibers, antioxidants), for exercise you already said that you are bodybuilding, but remember that women like muscular guys, but are not attracted to cortisol, swollen big guys. By this i mean that It could be considered to lift lighter weights, progress more slowly and decrease cortisolo.

Chicagoj1563 · 2024-09-17T20:35:19+00:00

Is it possible your dating app changed its algorithm? Could be why your results have changed.

Go to places where people are socializing and you can meet women. This is usually bars, but can also be social circles.

Over time you want to develop a mindset where no social pressure that is thrown at you will bother you. It’s just a fun game, learn to not care about negative outcomes.

Start small and just have 30 second conversations. Over time extend it to more.

Start there. You won’t build attraction by doing this, but right now you just need to get comfortable approaching, meeting new people cold, and desensitizing yourself to social pressure. You can also build social circles this way, and meet women through other people.

SeamoreBo0bz · 2024-09-17T20:46:00+00:00

dude, dating apps do not work anymore. period.

even as probably a 7.3/10 guy in 2014, i had no game but used to clean up on the apps.

now? they're been useless since 2017 and everyone knows it not to mention it destroys your mental health.

Tiway22 · 2024-09-17T21:06:16+00:00

If you haven’t had sex in a year you might not be as good looking and charming as you think.

Source: me, I slay on dating apps and get hundreds/thousands of likes. Am actually good looking with game.

OldRecommendation897 · 2024-09-17T17:00:32+00:00

How tall are you

brise-mysterieuse · 2024-09-17T18:18:50+00:00

Probably shadowbanned or have a low ELO on the apps. You’ll have to approach in person or do a hard reset which isn’t trivial

Immediate_Neat7242 · 2024-09-17T20:59:59+00:00

Dating apps is for losers who cant approach instead go out and meet

Title	I get zero action on dating apps
Author	ContentSquirrel7137
Upvotes	32
Comments	48
Date	September 17, 2024 3:43 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1fj2k3y/i_get_zero_action_on_dating_apps/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-get-zero-action-on-dating-apps.1530459 https://theredarchive.com/post/1530459

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