Do ladies like being asked to dance at a club/rave?

BavarianMotorWerkss · 2024-10-28T00:36:36+00:00

I never asked a girl to dance in my entire life. I either initiate or mutually it begins. People want to naturally connect.

fromthahorsesmouth · 2024-10-28T01:29:39+00:00

I've seen some of the ugliest dudes have hot girls grind up to them at clubs. I'm socially inept like you, and have learnt a lot from experience. It depends on a lot of factors:

Girls are there to have fun. Very few come there with the intention of going with someone to have sex unless someone can metaphorically blow their panties away. So they are okay to grind but don't want anything other than a random grope if they do choose to dance with you.

You might think you're invisible but you and your vibes are not. Girls not just look at you but also how others look at you, and if other guys don't wanna be friends with you or some other girl insulted you, you lose respect. It's still reparable but you are definitely fighting an uphill battle. Social proof matters, that's why guys either make a buddy at the club first or go with a buddy themselves. Lone wolves are rarely chosen by women.

Some clubs also have a very specific crowd: age, demographic, etc. (broke-ass college girls, v/s well educated/earning girls)

Clubs generally also have very specific vibes: rave, country, party, pop, etc.

So when you are thinking of approaching girls, before leaving home, definitely try the following:
- make sure you're dressed for the place and age of the crowd. If you have been there once, see what successful dudes wear. A country club i went to had dudes in tees and wearing bling and baseball caps, even 35+ old ones. The girls were almost all 20-25. I myself am 37, but chose to wear a button-down on jeans and was definitely too overdressed, and only attracted 1-2 girls over 3-4 visits.
- Always wear perfume, not cologne. Some of the classic ones that women like are: caroline herrera bad boy, dior sauvage, etc.
- Try to go with 1 buddy who is either a pro at this (preferable), meaning he can get into a group of multiple hot women and introduce you, or just hot/charming enough to have women approach him and you can just use your charm once you have an introduction. You may need to have a conversation with your friend beforehand about your intentions so you two could team up well. If that's not possible, try to go early and make a temporary guy friend who you can team up with.
- Try to wear one piece of a conversation starter: a chain, funny hat, goggles, etc. Women will automatically ask you about it
- Learn some conversation starters. Some PUA books are available for this, although I couldn't really put them into practice, if you are desperate enough, you could try them.

When you get there, definitely focus on the following:
- Know that you will get rejected multiple times so don't take it personally.
- Never linger over 2 seconds near a girl thinking whether you should approach/talk or not. Girls have incredible sense of space and they have eyes all around them. Go in confidently and just compliment her and after that immediately ask to dance with her.
- use body language rules, have 1 second of eye contact to check if she's not apprehensive of you. Then confidently approach, typically from the side, never from the rear and not from the front if possible.
- Women always come in groups, so going in with a group is good unless you're a social wizard
- Always reward good behavior. Never buy a girl drinks if she doesn't talk to you nicely. If you do buy, get one for her friend too. Punish negative behavior by very mildly insulting her or ignoring her in favor of her friend.
- Usually when you go in, talk to the uggo friend first and get her on your side. That makes it much easier. But this also depends on how your friend approaches the group.
- Don't crowd a girl that's already crowded by guys unless you know how to navigate dudes too.
- Consent is important, but when everyone is drunk, a lot of times it's only done through body language. I'm not an expert on that, because it has never happened to me personally but typically the girl will invite you in some way to do something.
- Instagram doesn't matter, girls will never reply to that, try to get a number after your dance. Don't ask for it directly, instead manipulate the conversation. For example, ask her if she likes pets, and if she does, maybe show a picture on your phone, of a dog/cat or something. Doesn't even have to be yours.
- Another way is to just non-chalantly hang at a semi-busy place at the bar where you won't be crowded, spilled on etc but also where people do come to get drinks. Solo women groups are typically hard to approach because they are on a girls' night but at a bar they're always a bit more open to conversation. I've almost always failed at approaches, but just hanging out by the bar has landed a few dances for me. This is a more passive approach though, and only works if you look good, which I do.
- Don't expect sex but definitely pursue it if you have gotten the girl wet enough. You will know if the girl is ready for it.

Finally, don't let rejection affect your ego. I eventually found my love through online dating even though I had given up on it.

Western-Month-3877 · 2024-10-28T01:48:20+00:00

I would assume that those guys already had small talks with the ladies before you saw them. So you could’ve only seen half of the pic.

I don’t usually ask a woman to dance if I haven’t talked to her yet, just make some silly talks, playful banter nothing serious. Next thing you know you just grab her hand and she follows your move. By “asking” you come across as too serious/giddy/nervous about it. It’s not a ball dance where everyone wears a formal dress, right?

ryux999 · 2024-10-28T00:25:38+00:00

Its a tough pill to swallow but those guys were more attractive for them, thats why

Big_Relationship9444 · 2024-10-28T01:25:32+00:00

There’s a lot of variables. Approach, attitude, body language, vibe. I’d say if it’s a reoccurring thing you’ll need to build a bit of repor before asking. Just a little bit of playful banter. I once went up to a woman and said I’m part of the royal family and when she questioned it I said “don’t worry about it, let’s dance.” Im a pretty sarcastic person and ppl often think I’m joking but can’t tell so that plays into it. Just playful interaction. I say outlandish things that show I don’t care the outcome which portrays confidence.

Excellent-Archer-238 · 2024-10-28T06:06:45+00:00

You never ask. Don't give them the chance to make a rational choice. Remember that women are emotional beings. Just start talking to them and if you feel she might be attracted, kino escalate by holding her hand up and giving her a turn. If the response is positive, then keep dancing.

ThotBubble · 2024-10-28T01:36:26+00:00

Think of the way little kids approach each other they touch they initiate play immediately you have to do the same if you aren’t good enough to do it with body language and touch just ask then after awhile you’ll pick up the cues to do it with out speaking

SpamAndCheese1 · 2024-10-28T13:26:01+00:00

girl raver/club goer here. most of the time my girls and i are nearly blacked out drunk, we are blind so it doesn’t really matter if you’re ugly or hot. what matters is eye contact and confidence.

something that works most of the time is a compliment. compliment her eyes or something unique abt her, if she likes your vibe she might compliment you back or flirt with you, that’s you cue to ask her to dance or buy her a drink. if she’s already dancing to begin with, then you better be dancing too!

LizzoBathwater · 2024-10-28T04:28:13+00:00

I don’t ask when I do it. I usually walk up say hi or whatever, and then just extend my hand or take hers and giver her a spin and then we’re dancing.

nah_suspect · 2024-10-28T07:49:10+00:00

Most of the time no they don’t because they are there to dance so if you ask them to, it seems like you are interested in them and have other intentions than having fun. They guys that you are talking about may already know the girl, and the girls may be very intoxicated so i would stay away from those people.

Lonely_Computer_2058 · 2024-10-28T01:05:55+00:00

Let’s assume you take care of the basics i.e. you have basic hygiene, dress well, have a decent job, and take care of your mental and physical health to a reasonable degree.

If this happens to you, I would say it’s likely low confidence and how you come off to women. I think all these people in the comments saying it's just because other men are handsome or taller is just an easy scapegoat for them not to improve themselves.

I’ve seen objectively short and unattractive men be successful in game. I would even venture to say that the most successful men I've seen have been fairly short (could just be anecdotal) when I’m out at bars.

I think you have to work on how you’re coming off and think about your intentions here. Women can definitely sniff desperate men or men who have bad intentions. Of course being better looking will give them a slight advantage, but with women that doesn’t really matter too much if you have game.

MaleficentFig7578 · 2024-10-28T14:09:03+00:00

The asking makes it awkward. When you are an awesome, socially competent, sexy person, you can just make it happen with mutual body language. I'm not at that stage yet.

Advice I can give you is be happy with learning and observation at this point. You might start to catch the subtle signs of interest leading up to that overt grinding. Then you might see a girl giving you the same signs. It takes time to train your brain this way.

throwsaway045 · 2024-10-28T00:38:26+00:00

I've never ask them, I see the same with other guys (the ripped one without shirt on 6feet plus)

Feedback from sister she doesn't want to and others females friend's I had same sometimes From most women I know they usually talk trash about men Iike all men are bad and things like that so I get so nervous because I think they will think who is this creep ugly man disturbing me so I make zero moves

KoleSekor · 2024-10-28T22:13:14+00:00

Don't ask, instruct. "Let's dance" and lead her

Dorsiflexionkey · 2024-10-28T00:36:39+00:00

they were more attracted to the other guys. Hey it happens. Sometimes I was the attractive guy, sometimes I wasn't that's life.

As for your question, yeah I believe personally that it helps. It displays confidence. So lets use a 1-10 scale, i think asking for a dance gives you like 0.5 or 1 point. If you're a 5 it might bump you up to a 6 or even 7 if you got good game.

But in this case, maybe the other guys were just natural 7's or 8's so even if asking helps, its just 1 component it doesn't automatically mean asking a girl to dance makes you irresistable or better than other men.

miyass_miyass · 2024-10-28T08:13:27+00:00

Consent is important but it’s not strictly necessary for affirmative consent to be verbal.

burncushlikewood · 2024-10-28T02:08:52+00:00

https://youtu.be/_jStE6-uQgQ?si=ZATfb9aM67yAqOac

unknown-one · 2024-10-28T14:01:51+00:00

Nobody puts Baby in a corner

ThotBubble · 2024-10-28T01:34:21+00:00

lol just ask bro who gives a fuck

TicaLuna · 2024-10-28T07:20:16+00:00

A club? No way.

A rave? Go for it, and I'm dancing with you even if I don't like you lol

SnooMarzipans8858 · 2024-10-28T00:39:14+00:00

I think so?I Never have enough semen to ask if they want though.

Title	Do ladies like being asked to dance at a club/rave?
Author	lavellj048
Upvotes	85
Comments	74
Date	October 28, 2024 12:22 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1gdpfdq/do_ladies_like_being_asked_to_dance_at_a_clubrave/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/do-ladies-like-being-asked-to-dance-at-a-clubrave.1534362 https://theredarchive.com/post/1534362

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