Systematic tackling of the male loneliness epidemic?

Mustard_The_Colonel · 2024-11-17T11:19:11+00:00

Rebuilding youth clubs would be good start here in the UK 15 years of Tories have absolutely gutted the support for young people.

In NHS we have started to use very successfully peer support workers. Those are people who experienced episode of mental health problems recovered and are now working sharing their experiences with others who are currently going through similar problems. Introduction of peer support in schools wouldn't be bad idea. Men who suffered with loneliness as boys figured out ways to avoid it could be positive role models for boys who currently feel left out.

Expanding the psychological networks. In the UK we already have some education mental health practitioners who work with common low intensity mental health issues including low self-esteem, depression, anxiety, eating disorders.

Definitely get rid off any and all us vs them mentality. When we talk about need to protect we should focus on protecting children not girls only. We should recognise that majority of the boys are good boys who want to go to school learn, make friends and live their lives. We shouldn't treat them as a problem but as a valued members of school.

Free gym access to anyone under age of 25 would be also good solution, not only would it create healthier society but also improve mental health and would work well with common interests for boys not that all boys are into fitness but a lot would be given a chance if it was free. It would be positive place to be in. Currently biggest issues are that if you don't drink alcohol there is hardly anywhere to meet new people.

Campaigns highlining issues without demonising or blaming. Couple of weeks ago in university town near me there was organised event for protest to make streets safer at night. EVERYONE was invited. Event immediately started with long speech about male violence against women, I didn't go but watched some videos posted. You could see how faces changed on the poor men that attended the even. From people who went I know several who left the even angry some of them have been previously victims of muggings who where now told how much of the problem they were. Those women have lost many allies that day. If the event was focused on keeping everyone safe, about demanding better policing and services around like late time busses etc Rather than blaming any man in existence that would be much more beneficial and men would strongly support it. They also go out and feel unsafe when going home late and night.

Universities should absolutely clamp down of that kind of speech and one sided events. If in doubt I always have a rule replace word men with Jew if your speech starts to sound like chapter from Mein Kampf then probably it isn't really good speech.

Campaign showing toxic behaviour that is psychological abuse boys and men experience in relationship also would go long way. There is so many inexperienced young women who don't know what is acceptable in relationship that it wouldn't hurt showing what behaviour is abuse this would help challenge those women by peers and normalise calling that shit out. Things like young men not allowed to meet friends because girlfriend has a crying fit. Things like excessive jealousy and checking boyfriend phone, etc.

Excellent_You5494 · 2024-11-17T18:07:56+00:00

Bring back recess

Turn boys into readers (stop making teens read about depressed teens every year, ffs).

Work with young male's imaginations

-Christina Hoff Sommers

https://ideas.time.com/2013/10/28/what-schools-can-do-to-help-boys-succeed/

https://ideas.time.com/2013/08/19/school-has-become-too-hostile-to-boys/

Stop saying that arts and crafts are explicitly feminine, when the largley masculine sex has been at it for thousands of years, until recently.

Example: https://ideas.time.com/2013/10/25/boys-love-rainbow-loom-defying-stereotype-and-delighting-moms-everywhere/?iid=op-main-belt

Allowing male exclusive clubs and fraternities in, and out of, school.

Give men exclusive safe spaces, including places for guest speakers on male issues, and separate the militant feminists protestors as any other protest is segregated.

ChemistryFederal6387 · 2024-11-17T18:16:06+00:00

Suggestions for tackling male loneliness are generally worthless because it is a complete taboo to talk about women and sexual relationships.

Even on a sub as open minded as this, you cause outrage bringing it up. With posters huffing, that male loneliness has nothing to with being unable to get a girlfriend and why are you bringing up sex?

Alas any solution that ignores that elephant in the room is worthless. Most men want a sex life, they want to spend time with women and long term they want to build a family of their own. They are not interested in going to some meetup group of lonely men, which makes them feel like losers and premature pensioners. We might as well suggest they take up Bingo.

Look I know I am not allowed to say any of the above and that I am afraid is the big problem. It isn't just that men are lonely, it is the fact they are shamed and censored when they try to discuss the aspect of loneliness that cuts them deepest.

BloomingBrains · 2024-11-18T06:34:20+00:00

I think the main thing that would make a difference is the kind of messaging young women receive. Especially in college/dating. We should be teaching them things like:

There are other standards you can judge male attractiveness by than what is conventional. The shy, nerdy guy might have something to contribute, too.
Shy, nerdy guys are not automatically a threat to you, or even more likely to be. Conventionally attractive men are much more likely to hurt you.
You're not sexually liberating yourself when 80% of you compete for the "top" 20% of males and engage in hookup culture, you're doing the opposite. You're making yourself a commodity to them and giving them all the power and control. In other words, a patriarchy.
Putting up a harsh forcefield around yourself won't prevent creeps from talking to you. In fact it will do the opposite. Good men do care how uncomfortable you act, and we will pick up on that and leave you alone. Bad men don't, and will approach anyway. In other words, you will only ever meet and be involved with bad men.
If you want to abolish gender roles and be a strong independent woman, stop looking to marry up the social ladder. Demonstrate value as a strong protector/provider. Approach men. Woo them. Pay for things. Treat them how you want to be treated. Dating isn't supposed to be a glamorous paradise for you where men do all the work and take all the emotional risks. Its a two way street. Its difficult and requires effort like most things in life that matter.
Bad boys aren't cool. Education on the dark triad and how dark triad men manipulate women.

So many young women are brainwashed. I feel sorry for them. They aren't being told any of this and it hurts them. That's why so many are saying they'd chose a bear over a man (even though they'll run into the arms of the bad man they'd allegedly chose a bear over one second later). They've been sold a lie and they don't even know it.

Local-Willingness784 · 2024-11-17T19:13:19+00:00

economic measures are also very important, as a man who is too tired of working, or too stressed in search of one, is a man who has to be lonely out of necessity, rather than out of will

FromAuntToNiece · 2024-11-17T13:49:44+00:00

I did read Helen Coffey's article. She missed one other solution, though.

More women should be socialized to approach shy men for opposite-sex platonic friendships!

"I am not sexually attracted to you. I am not romantically attracted to you. I would very much like to be platonic friends with you."

It's as simple as that, really.

FreeRazzmatazz4613 · 2024-11-18T20:08:09+00:00

We taught the girls that boys were toxic and it's ok to hate them. We taught the boys they are defective it's they should hate themselves.

We took away their safe spaces, their fathers and role models we won't even allow boys to have comic book heros without 'tearing them down a notch"

We have a school to college pipeline for girls, a school to prison pipeline for boys.

Illustrious-Red-8 · 2024-11-19T03:45:18+00:00