Would you put your partner through some type of loyalty test before tying the knot?

Tough92 · 2024-12-26T14:51:37+00:00

I feel like you should be able to trust them enough not todo this.

M_and_D · 2024-12-26T15:40:08+00:00

If you ever feel like you need to test your partner, that means you already know the answer and the relationship is doomed.

SnooHesitations4922 · 2024-12-26T14:58:04+00:00

No. That's an easy way to turn a woman off. If she is someone you want to be with it's even more important to not do that. What happens when you test loyalty is you do not appear preselected and you tank your own s.m.v. Once she feels like the only option you are done.

Dwerg1 · 2024-12-26T15:19:00+00:00

The best test is giving it enough time, always paying attention to her and seeing if she remains consistent. Actively trying to test her is doomed to make you come off like an insecure douchebag.

Give it at least a couple of years of living together every day. I refuse to believe anyone who says there were no signs if they waited that long, married and then everything changed. I can believe they didn't pay enough attention or were in denial about it, but if she's a bad choice there is no way anyone can fully keep up a facade for that long. There's just those who are better at it than others, but there's always cracks in it.

Paying close attention is all you need to do, something you should do anyways as part of caring about her.

I waited 4 years before marrying my wife. I never put her through any particular tests on purpose, but I knew her well and she had remained perfectly consistent in how she is throughout the entire time. We've been married 5 years now and she's still consistently the same woman, she is who she seems to be.

Time and attention, it's extremely hard to perfectly hide one's true self for an extended time.

StrikingImportance39 · 2024-12-26T14:51:28+00:00

This is the most stupid idea I ever seen.

idkwhatusernamet0use · 2024-12-26T17:42:10+00:00

I see a guy on tiktok that tests women and the fail ALL the time. So idk what people in this sub are on.

Women are not as loyal as they seem.

Get someone good looking to add her on IG or something like that and see for yourself

Ok_Potential359 · 2024-12-26T15:27:14+00:00

Adults who do this are weak and projecting self sabotage for their relationship. It puts into question your decision making abilities if you’re such shit at picking partners that you have to stoop to shitty loser loyalty tests like marriage is a game.

Assuming she passes, do you want a pat on the back? How do you think that will make you look? It’s manipulative behavior anyway. If the roles were reversed you’d be pissed.

M_and_D · 2024-12-26T15:47:41+00:00

If you live your life based upon the fear of what you don't know or what could/could not happen, you are going to live a miserable life my friend.

If you have to test your partner, that means you don't trust them. Once she figures out you do not trust her, she will lose interest and respect for you immediately. There will be no going back

norwegiandoggo · 2024-12-26T15:12:54+00:00

I don't feel the need to do that because everything they do communicates their loyalty.

I watch her behavior over time, and i pay attention to her

honesty
consistency (she does what she says she will do)
her past behavior with me and previous partners
her values (which we obviously talk about)
how open she is with sharing things
if she is hiding her phone or giving me full access whenever I want
how the relationship between is going
her daily routine and activities
our sex life
her substance abuse or lack thereof

Etc. Etc. I don't need one test. We communicate all the time with our actions and words. And from that you can get a really good idea of their loyalty at any given time.

The problem with a test is that it just tests for loyalty at one specific time. But they might be loyal at that time but cheat on you later. That's why it's better to assess things on an ongoing basis. A test can also be "found out" - that she sees through it - and that can make you seem insecure and can reduce her trust in you.

Ok-Class-1451 · 2024-12-26T17:10:11+00:00

That’s super toxic behavior. If you feel the need to do that, you don’t trust him, and these are all terrible ideas- getting married included.

Numerous-String9679 · 2024-12-26T15:14:08+00:00

Don’t marry them if you don’t trust them.

Reinstateswordduels · 2024-12-26T15:50:47+00:00

Wrong subreddit

Apache1975 · 2024-12-26T16:43:48+00:00

That’s some middle school shit

Trip_seize · 2024-12-26T16:51:08+00:00

She will pass and you will fail.

Western-Month-3877 · 2024-12-26T17:24:05+00:00

I once had a woman did this to me. At the time I wasn’t playing around or having a hookup. But when she told me what she did, I honestly lost some respect for her. Guess what? We broke up.

I had my intuition that she did it as a projection. She even tried to deny it and said that “I wanna see that you’re not like my ex.” Well too bad. Your past trauma is not my responsibility to heal it. I got nothing to do with it. I ain’t your therapist or your baby sitter. Someone else did it to you, don’t take it out on me.

I even told her that yea sure I passed the test, but how would you know that I won’t cheat on you in the future? How would I know that you won’t cheat on me? Exactly. No one knows the future. I’ve seen couples with strong religious background end up getting divorced because of an affair. And I’ve seen couples with high body counts still stay married after 10+ years. We deal with circumstances and humans that could change. When there’s an opportunity and temptation that could make your partner cheat on you, do you think you can prevent it? Nope.

joshterritat · 2024-12-26T17:57:59+00:00

All of these comments are saying yes they do, but unconsciously. They watch how their partner acts in situations. None of them are self aware enough though

They intentionally brought them around their friends
they intentionally introduced them to coworkers
they asked other peoples opinion of them

A better question to get past everyone’s programming is to ask “How do I determine the strength of my partners loyalty before getting married?”

Worth-Combination306 · 2024-12-26T19:39:54+00:00

I wouldn’t. Bc I know they would fail. 😆

Powerful-Ad9392 · 2024-12-26T20:40:38+00:00

This is manipulative and reeks of insecurity. By doing this you fail her test.

nothing32768 · 2024-12-26T21:25:20+00:00

there are always signs of disloyalty. instead of orchestrating tests like a weirdo, better to read the signs.

for example, do their eyes light up at the notion of open relationships? sometimes people who are happy in their relationships cheat, but most of the time the ones that do aren't happy. do you talk about what makes them happy? are their needs met? are your needs met?

you proposed only two options: loyalty test or trust and hope for the best. these are not the only options. keep your eyes open every day, but don't look every day for signs of disloyalty, just look at your partner and pay attention to them in general.

are YOU the loyal type? :p disloyalty takes many forms, like bad-mouthing your partner behind their backs to your friends and family, for example.

SeaworthinessSea2407 · 2024-12-27T05:29:42+00:00

No. Testing your partner is a stupid, manipulative ridiculous and immature move and those who do it are all of those things

Kobe_curry24 · 2024-12-26T15:33:05+00:00

Are you guys silly ?? The loyalty test is the dating meter lmaoooo that’s why you date for 3 years not 3 months

EugeneBorealis · 2024-12-26T17:37:10+00:00

OP's partner should run as far away as possible from OP

OfficialRedCafu · 2024-12-26T15:09:23+00:00

Women test men all the time. Why are there people triggered in the comments for just the thought of a man testing a woman? 😂

DSkyUI · 2024-12-26T15:00:18+00:00

I don’t know why people angry here sounds like a legit question, you know rather than it yes or no what kind of a loyalty test would you do? I don’t know which one I would do.

I don’t see why not be certain she’s loyal. Seems stupid to refuse certainty over this.

PleaseDontBeTakenPlz · 2024-12-26T15:18:26+00:00

Women do this. So same same

DSkyUI · 2024-12-26T15:00:29+00:00

Rather than it yes or no what kind of a loyalty test would you do? I don’t know which one I would do.

I don’t see why not be certain she’s loyal. Seems stupid to refuse certainty over this.

Broofturker71 · 2024-12-26T15:02:47+00:00

I wouldn't but I would never disparage someone from doing it. I would support it.

Title	Would you put your partner through some type of loyalty test before tying the knot?
Author	Ok-Orange7146
Upvotes	0
Comments	63
Date	December 26, 2024 2:50 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1hmptmp/would_you_put_your_partner_through_some_type_of/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/would-you-put-your-partner-through-some-type-of.1539556 https://theredarchive.com/post/1539556

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