I want a gym girl but it’s very difficult to get

superrmatt · 2025-04-15T18:52:08+00:00

Take this with a large pile of salt, as I've never "closed" but have gotten numbers and gone on dates with women at my gym. I guess that's what you're asking about though lol. I'm picky and don't pursue further if I'm not feeling it, especially if it's someone I see on a near daily basis.

I focus on the training and nothing else. But I have eyes and ears, so I pick up on things. If a girl is looking at me for weeks, I find an opportunity to say hi, get to know her a little, and move on from there.

The hardest part, in my opinion, is that first hi. It can be awkward. The gym can be an awkward place to meet people, I often find. At least at first. Mostly for what you said, headphones, focus on the exercise etc. So, have a plan in place on what you want to say, keep it light at first. Stick to work, the workout, idk traffic? Just normal small talk stuff. Don't linger more than two mins or so. Everyone's there for a purpose. It's mostly not to meet people, but that may be a secondary goal for many. It certainly is for me. Once you pass that first chat barrier, it gets so much easier, I promsie.

If you talk to her a few times, and it goes well, ask for the phone number. No set number of talks or timeframe on this. You just have to feel it out, I guess. I like to be clear in my intentions, and i'll say something like, "I really enjoy talking to you and would like to get to know you more. Would you be interested in going out sometime?" If she says yes, get her #. If she says no, i always say "no worries, I understand, have a good day". If she says anything but those two options, it's generally a no. And next time I see her, I'll politely nod and smile and carry on with my workout instead of awkwardly pretending I don't see or know her. This part has helped me save face when I get a no, and keeps thing from getting too awkward.

By the way, I never openly flirt in the gym, I find it crass. I keep it classy, light, and fun. Save the open flirting for the potential date(s). I think many women would agree, but maybe not, idk.

Lastly, I have noticed over the years that some people might look really angry at the gym, but they're just focused. So if she looks angry, when you lock eyes, she might be, but she might just be focused on dialing in the next lift. So don't wait for that classic "lock eyes and smile" cue., if you lock eyes a bunch, that's probably a green light to go and talk to her.

Go get 'em OP

Loud_Menu_7237 · 2025-04-15T19:01:28+00:00

Several advices for you, bro. Easy to follow yet effective. 1. Stop this bullshit ranking yourself or girls with numbers 2. Work on improving your self esteem. You can find tons of material online on how to do that. 3. Increase your volume of new acquaintances. Use dating apps, talk to girls in the gym, in other public places, maybe go to some social events, to nightclubs. You might join some social clubs related to sports, like a running club, or hiking etc. 4. Now to your very question. There's nothing to be ashamed of when approaching girls in the gym. It's ok to do, even if they are wearing headphones. Ofc as long as you do it in respective manner. As of "how to" — go up to a girl, say "hi", give her a compliment, then explain why you approached (which is you liked her and would like to meet her some other time outside the gym), then ask her to exchange some form of contact, say goodbye and go back to ykhr training

MyLilPonyFan · 2025-04-16T14:05:51+00:00

This post came at just the right time thank you op and wish me good luck 🙏, and the best of luck to you too

Alwaysnthered · 2025-04-16T00:52:08+00:00

God I have this same problem.

I have a top 1-2% body (clear 6 pack, v taper, arms etc) but find it near impossible to attract a women who is just in shape.

It’s because an in shape woman is miles more valuable in the marketplace vs an in shape man.

I’ve never slept with a woman with a better body than me, ever.

connor42 · 2025-04-15T20:03:41+00:00

Start blasting gear

Geojere · 2025-04-15T19:26:41+00:00

Theres this guy I know at my gym that he looks like a pretty advanced lifter (he does comps i believe). He always has very attractive women he dates that come to the gym with him. Point is he doesnt look for women in the gym. And trying to pickup women in the gym isn’t a very good strategy imo. You said it was easy talking to women in person. So do that but literally just go specifically for women that fit the type you are looking for.

MrDownhillRacer · 2025-04-15T23:44:17+00:00

God, I know what you mean. I have dated fit girls, but they are hard enough to get that that there are long gaps between them. It's like, everyone is telling the truth when they say working on your fitness as a dude increases the interest you receive, but they neglect to mention that it increases interest from women who don't themselves workout, and the ones who are fit are still pretty hard to get. But, like, if you work on your fitness, you're probably not putting all that effort in just to settle for somebody who has never lifted a weight in their life, so getting the compliments and eyes from them just doesn't matter anymore.

I talked to a girl I find incredibly cute and that was checking me often, she was very pleased but she told me that unfortunatly she had a boyfriend since november (i think she is telling the truth because she was very precise)

I had a very similar experience. I'd chat with this cute girl at the gym sometimes. When I asked her out, she said, and I quote, "you're too late." 😭

I think it's just part of being attracted to women who are themselves the most sought-after women. I'm kind of envious of my friends who have "niche" preferences in women. If I were into women that most guys aren't, then it would be easy to land ones that align with my preferences. But unfortunately, I like the same women most guys like: hot, fit ones. Because everyone likes them, they can usually afford to select the best, and whenever I see their boyfriends, they are usually quite tall, which makes me wonder if any amount of working on my physique will allow me to be competitive with guys who are fit and tall (and probably also have more money than me because I chose the grad school life instead of starting my career).

But oh well, only thing I can really do is keep trying, because sitting there whining about not being born looking like Robert Pattinson won't do shit to help me.

carooo1919 · 2025-04-16T01:46:08+00:00

as a girl who hits the gym & wears headphones, i don’t mind being approached or talked to at all, by anyone. but I’m also fairly extroverted and like the idea of making lots of gym friends/acquaintances.

From a romantic standpoint, if I find someone cute I will look at them or try to make eye contact. For example, I just recently joined a new gym a couple weeks ago, and I find 2 guys there very cute. I purposefully looked at the first guy a bunch when he was working out in front of me, and then he came over and asked for my number. Second guy I didn’t look at as much, but he talked to me about a shirt I was wearing and now we say hi to each other in the gym. If he had asked for my number I would have given it to him.

Point being, you’re not doing anything wrong with your current strategy of going for women who are looking at you a lot. we generally don’t look at people we don’t find attractive lol. you just got unlucky but there will be a single woman at some point.

If you’re going for someone who’s not looking at you, I would just exchange names the first time, try to have a couple convos and feel out if they might be interested. I’ve asked for girls numbers before (from a friend standpoint) at the gym and I can quickly tell whether someone has any interest in talking or not. so use those cues!

good luck!

Jtenka · 2025-04-15T20:53:07+00:00

My girl is a gym girl. Helps that I've been in sports for 19 years with a few dozen competitive boxing matches behind me. She actually approached me on insta to train with her.

Best way to go about it is to present that sort of lifestyle as genuine. Most gym girls get hit up allll the time. But they will always want the one who's not a needy bitch and looks like he's doing his thing.

Build up a relationship slowly over time. You don't wanna be the thirsty boy who's right in her DMs like everybody else. the last girl I was with for 6 years, we matched on tinder. She was gym obsessed and a black belt in karate. Same sort of shit really.

I've dated, and had relationships with several girls who are gym obsessed. And never because we were at the gym and found a spark. It's always from outside.

Affectionate-Ant4888 · 2025-04-16T01:47:55+00:00

talk to everyone at the gym ; get into that mood and use the 3s rule when approaching a girl its just like any day game situation; just to talk to them lmao ; you will figure it out if she is single or not;

Impressive_Minute134 · 2025-04-16T04:32:46+00:00

Talk to everyone. To the guys near the girl and she will see you. The best way at the gym is warm approach. Once she sees you a few time then you can wait for a moment when you are close to her to make a comment(about what she’s doing or the fact that she seems to come often to the gym) and continue from there.

quakinginmyhighheel · 2025-04-16T14:32:04+00:00

as a gym girl, i would hate being hit on during or in between sets. im overwhelmed, overstimulated, sweaty, tense, and my face is completely red. not only would i hate having to focus on a conversation but i’d also be too embarrassed to go out with him. i’d suggest only approaching girls when they first get to the gym, rather than after or in between exercises.

Ancient-Position-696 · 2025-04-17T01:42:02+00:00

Next time your gym crush is squatting, add more weight. It makes it harder for her to run away

NoargFrameston · 2025-04-17T12:54:08+00:00

Game is game. While I'm not a gym bro in anyway, I know that game works the same way under all environments. We project difficulties and complications unto things as part of approach anxiety but that's besides the point.. We do this other thing that frankly sucks, when we designate a particular type of women as more attractive to us based on some metric (fit, tall, asian, etc) we end up caring a lot more about the outcome with those kinds of girls than other ones causing our attractiveness taking a hit with our target group!

I don't really know how to solve this other than build more skill and experience until one day our skill overcomes our self-inflicted nerf 😅

Now I might be completely wrong here in which case, know that like you I'm still learning lol

Best of luck bro 💪

fahshoww · 2025-04-17T18:57:37+00:00

I've approached a lot at my gym, I've done indirect and direct game approaches. But work. But as said in earlier posts, just get out of your head and breathe, feel the energy in the room, and feel presence with the gorgeous girl when you go say hi. Your brain will do what it's supposed to if you let it by not clogging it with incessant thoughts. You can do it bud. Who cares about headphones, if their working out when you see them. Just approach and be light, smooth, and fun. Life is good brother be thankful you get the opportunity to even speak with gorgeous girls!

Spartan_Ace095 · 2025-04-15T19:53:01+00:00

I'm currently in the same boat, I've been lifting for almost 8 years and built myself a solid physique (being often asked by stangers if I'm a coach is the best compliment I can get).

After covid, I had a FwB for a year who was a gym girl... Having someone that is both your ideal physically and shares your lifestyle is just amazing. In a few months, I'll move to a european capital for a new job opportunity and I hope I can meet my future gym girlfriend there, whether it be on the apps, outside or the gym itself.

hihellothere55 · 2025-04-16T04:43:51+00:00

Gym girl here! 🙋🏻‍♀️🏋️‍♀️

Depending on where you live the weather should be getting much warmer out soon so you can find fit girls doing fit girl activities. Morning waterfront walks, health food stores or stores like whole foods, anywhere there might be fresh juices, salads and açai bowls. 😂 I’ve even been hit on at the protein bar section.

The other obvious answer would be join a second gym, just for variety or even just for a month. I personally like to go to 2 different gyms for variety and different machines.

I would suggest fitness classes, but if you’re into weightlifting then the girls in those classes may not be as fit enough as you’d like.

Summer is coming soon here so we will be outside going for long walks for cardio, hitting up the grocery store for healthy protein filled snacks, hiking, maybe doing a class or two and of course in the gym everyday.

Also idk what this sub is or if it’s just for guys but it came up in my feed and I saw the word “gym”. 😂

EDIT to add: don’t listen to the incels here that tell you not to hit on women in the gym.

ApocalypticBroccoli · 2025-04-16T00:21:12+00:00

I don’t think approaches at the gym are such a great idea.

Approaching a girl during her workout is kinda like approaching a girl who’s working in some customer facing job. Unless you’re 1000% sure she’s into you, you’ll come across as cornering her. But there is no way to get that level of certainty without losing frame.

Two exceptions: definitely approach if she’s running outdoors, or very obviously in the process of leaving the gym. That way you don’t come across as trying to “corner” her — she can just ignore you and walk/run past you if you’re a douche. Cooldown stretch might count as leaving if she gave you tons of very overt IOIs.

crtmammal · 2025-04-16T02:18:23+00:00

It’s not, you just have to be bigger stronger and in better shape.

sandynuggetsxx · 2025-04-16T02:50:03+00:00

Bro i have used the same super simple and basic approach and it works every time…

“HEY! I had to come introduce myself because you beautiful,

How are you? My name is xxx

Well listen, I was in the middle of a pretty solid workout, you’re all sweaty and stuff (say that jokingly) so I know you have been getting it in too.

BUT! If it’s not to weird, I would like to get your number so I can text you and call you sometime.

Is that cool?

….Works every time.

Excellent-Archer-238 · 2025-04-16T03:38:19+00:00

Easy. Get gym girls somewhere else. Join a running club, there will be gym girls there for sure. They will be more open for conversation.

Demmitri · 2025-04-16T04:12:49+00:00

I have a very hot friend that has fucked at least 5 guys she met in the the gym. I don't know exactly how they did it as most of them were barely a 6-7, all I know it's that it's all about getting her number and then doing the game by messages. So start with that, preferably when leaving the gym, maybe you wait at reception and start a talk there to get her number. It helps she was newly single so keep an eye on that too.

Shadow__Account · 2025-04-16T07:22:17+00:00

I’ve been with several gym girls and some pro athletes and first of all it was boring as fuck.

But that being said, I think you either should have amazing game and looks to stand out in the gym and pick them up.

Or as I did, have some sort of status in the gym. I was there daily, so everyone new me and girls quickly pick up on the hirarchy and value. So when the big guys come to you to talk and or ask advice, form checks, help etc. You are golden.

Probably it’s too much of a long term plan and not worth it if your interest in not necessarily in sport science, but besides having great looks and instagram fame, I don’t see many other ways to get those hot chicks in a gym filled with good looking people with social skills.

NoKluWhaTuDu · 2025-04-16T09:08:20+00:00

Just stop looking for them on dating sites.

poly_nerdy_panda · 2025-04-16T13:04:53+00:00

wasting your time bro... invite them out even if they have bf, they will invite friends out and you can score one of them.. I said this in other thread but I worked at the gym and dated yoga and zumba teacher... U don't want to date someone at a small gym because everyone will KNOW! which can be a blessing and a curse..

anyways go to a class like H.I.T.T get to know everyone for a few weeks and then ask everyone what they are doing this weekend and invite everyone out tell them its your friends birthday or whatever... if you don't have friends even better just to say you don't really have friends... get a huge group together weekly

Puzzleheaded_Ice5070 · 2025-04-16T17:07:26+00:00

My boyfriend and I met at them gym! He approached me and made a comment about how hard I was working and asked if maybe I would like to chat with him. I said yes and we've been together for almost three years! just thought I would share a successful story :)

logger01 · 2025-04-16T19:29:14+00:00

I personally don't like to get intimately involved with someone i might see regularly (at a job, at the gym, etc). If things don't work out, suddenly the place feels a bit awkward. But that's just me.

Dandys3107 · 2025-04-16T06:56:38+00:00

How about getting with a girl you like and converting her for active lifestyle? It’s very common thing that woman change herself, adjusting to a man she love.

1-long-legs-vixen · 2025-04-15T18:51:56+00:00

referring to anyone as a gym bro or gym girl may be part of the problem. JS

epimpstyle · 2025-04-15T20:10:49+00:00

in the gym almost everyone has his headphones on and i don’t like to « disturb »

Mate, I've said countless times on this sub: don't approach a girl inside the gym for various reasons. It's much better to wait outside, it makes things 100 times easier. You don’t need to prove to anyone how confident or bold you are; you just need to make things easier for yourself.

Title	I want a gym girl but it’s very difficult to get
Author	IbizHigh
Upvotes	99
Comments	78
Date	April 15, 2025 6:28 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1jzz9lp/i_want_a_gym_girl_but_its_very_difficult_to_get/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-want-a-gym-girl-but-its-very-difficult-to-get.1549688 https://theredarchive.com/post/1549688

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