How can a man get a relationship through social settings aka hobby groups, etc?

OkWorldliness1323 · 2025-07-18T15:11:20+00:00

In the same boat in a lot of ways. I am not in a relationship but my current strategy is that I am just going out and doing things that put me in contact with women in my dating demo. From there just low stakes conversations and seeing who I click with. I am doing country swing and line dancing lessons. 10/10 would recommend. I swear to god it's like 70% women during line dancing. It's also pretty fun.

bespectacled1 · 2025-07-18T17:58:59+00:00

Honestly, the best thing these groups do is take the pressure off socially, and help you become a more attractive potential partner.

When you pursue a hobby that interests you, it firstly requires that you know yourself well enough to know what you like and what you're good at - this is surprisingly rare. Knowing yourself will help you be more chill, because you'll be more comfortable with your own company.

Once you know what you like and what interests you and start pursuing it, you'll meet people with which you automatically have something in common - this helps you make friends and expands your social circle. A larger social circle will help you be less needy, because some of your social and emotional needs will be being met.

By the time you have a hobby social circle and you're going out to events around this hobby, you're going to be more confident. You'll feel better and less desperate, and it will show. Plus, you're going to be doing something you love - when someone is doing something they love, they're always sexier.

THEN comes the cold approach at events because you already have something in common to talk about, and meeting women through friends that already know you well, and getting a coffee after class with the new girl.

imhereforthemeta · 2025-07-18T15:58:06+00:00

So I mean with hobbies. It’s pretty easy. Invest in a hobby and connections with both friends and potential partners will follow.

I find that when two people are passionate about the same thing. Connections can happen very fast. I am in a counterculture community, and most of the guys end up getting girlfriends relatively quickly because they are in the same universe. They have the same goals, they’re doing the same thing. Depending on the subculture, it can sometimes feel like folks in the subculture understand what you are going though and can relate to your lifestyle the most.

Pour yourself into a hobby, develop skill and passion in it, and passionate women will connect with you.

funnybillypro · 2025-07-18T17:01:23+00:00

I can't recommend enough: Don't "try to get a girlfriend." Go exist in the world and connect with human beings. Every time you speak to a woman you're attracted to doesn't need to be the goal of "how do I get this to be a date?" Just ride the waves of connection and authenticity. That'll get you places more than fixating on a "goal."

Join the group to meet people, not to "get a girlfriend." You'll be more relaxed, and more relaxed people are more attractive.

PutsWomenOnPedestal · 2025-07-18T14:35:15+00:00

You will get some good advice in this sub, which I will leave to others. But can I ask why exactly you want a girlfriend? This sounds like a silly question but it can help you understand your motivation and maybe reduce your fear.

Personal_Dirt3089 · 2025-07-19T04:33:02+00:00

first: stop calling it "cold approach". You are not trying to sell her things. That is a term detached from the reality and humanity of just introducing yourself to a woman, talking, and seeing how it goes.

Get out of the reddit mindset that redpillers and PUAs invented just going up to women to meet them, and drop the assumption that a system is required.

As for seeming needy, what kind of feedback or self monitoring makes you think you may come off like it? Are you feeling too approval seeking?

xvszero · 2025-07-18T15:57:51+00:00

If you're in a hobby group and clicking with a specific person you just ask them if they want to get a coffee sometime or something. Basically, see if they want to hang out alone with you. If they do, then that's a good sign. If not, then they're not interested.

Keep in mind though sometimes people will say yes because they're put on the spot but they don't truly want to. How do you know the difference? Well, the person who wants to will find the time and energy to do it. The person who doesn't will always have some excuse when it comes time to actually hanging out. If that happens just take the message and leave them alone.

Whatever the case your self described neediness is probably a huge barrier here.

theworsethebetter99 · 2025-07-18T16:07:13+00:00

I heard veganism is like 90% women. Men are too scared to be seen as gay to be vegan. I always wondered where redpillers got the idea men are more logical then women. They are scared of the colour pink and would run through a minefield just to not be called gay. I think there is a study that said men didn't want to be enviormentally conscious because it's seen as gay.

That was off topic. So veganism. Maybe volunteering at an animal shelter? Though women there are used to guys joining just to have sex. Volunteering in general has a lot of women. Men volunteer less. Maybe a political organization? Apparently, the only dating app that is successful in getting you a partner is for furries. People used to just meet other people at church or the village dance. Both of those are kinda gone. Unless you actually go to a church. Don't go into male interest groups like Warhammer or football.

AdComprehensive7939 · 2025-07-19T00:59:47+00:00

Step 1. Decide what hobbies you like and want to pursue.

Step 2. Meet new people and widen social circle.

Step 3. See what comes.

As far as the rest of your questions - I don't think there are rules. If you meet someone you click with, ask them out to coffee or something. I wouldnt just go tell random women you're looking for a relationship (aka stating your intentions) but wait until you find someone with a genuine spark. It usually comes up on the first date.

Sgt_MarkLease · 2025-07-18T14:40:26+00:00

This is gonna sound pretty brutal but usually you have to have sex on the first date just because of how rapid paced the dating scene is. especially on dating apps and cold approach

Title	How can a man get a relationship through social settings aka hobby groups, etc?
Author	AGuyWithoutAName_
Upvotes	18
Comments	42
Date	July 18, 2025 2:17 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/1m33j56/how_can_a_man_get_a_relationship_through_social/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/how-can-a-man-get-a-relationship-through-social.1557476 https://theredarchive.com/post/1557476

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