Long time reader first time poster. Married 6 years, have 3 boys all under 5. Twin boys during Covid which was literally a shitshow.

Still married but we are in one of those marriages because of circumstances.

She’s an executive and makes more than 400k per year. I’m in IT and currently looking for work for the last 6 months after my last contract expired (usually 160/180). Things were bad but got way worse after my contract ended. She’s extremely bossy, type A personality and verbally and physically abusive. She was not so much like this before got married but changed after we had the kids.

We were doing therapy but she decided to stop since the therapist would side with me often.

Treats me like shit big time, in front of kids, in laws and strangers. At a point that my kid defend me and tell her not to yell at me and that I’m not an idiot. She “obviously” doesn’t do anything wrong and when she does she never owns up to it. She also gained a ton of weight after first kid and refused to exercise or eat healthy while I am pretty fit and believe in a healthy lifestyle and exercise constantly. I do therapy weekly but my mental health is effed at the moment.

Have a prenup, consulted a lawyer. The issue that I have is that if I’d file now she’d have to pay some alimony and that’s not the kind of person I am. I’d rather find another job and then file.