Moving into an apartment

Shoddy_Classic_350 · 2025-09-16T11:59:17+00:00

Moved into a 1-bed condo and appreciate a simplified life. No more yard work; weekends are whatever I want them to be. Toilet seat default is up, and I only have to clean one toilet vs 4. I'm living like I did when I was a young adult, except now I have money and own my living space outright.

There are few things I miss like a private swimming pool (PITA to maintain), garage with a beer fridge, but when I think about the expenses I feel liberated. The big house was more of a ball and chain than the wife.

Heavy_Guitar_4848 · 2025-09-15T20:30:13+00:00

Had the big house with in ground pool and lived in an 1 bedroom apartment the last 1.5 years. Have bunkbeds in the living room for the kids and we’ve made the best out of it. Think of it at your stress free zone. You’ll have more time with not having the projects and maintenance now. You’ll have to replace that time with working out and hobbies. Invest in an air fryer, it’s great for cooking for yourself. I worked a bunch of OT, saved up and just bought a fixer upper closer to the kids. I’ll likely think back fondly of my time in the apartment, it’s a chapter of your life so make it a good one.

Candidate_Worldly · 2025-09-15T14:09:20+00:00

It's shit, I went from a really nice house with a workshop garden etc in a great area to a shabby rental. I'm closer to my daughter now, and that's the main priority.

I hated staying there on my own anyway when we separated.. But yeah a sudden drop in your standard of living is a shit experience, no two ways.

HyperBeetleJam · 2025-09-15T11:12:12+00:00

Congrats to you just that wanted to say

Freeman2be · 2025-09-15T10:59:22+00:00

I am wrestling with the same. For the past 20+ years I have lived in very nice and large homes, but not sure I can afford something smaller, but comparable, in the very expensive area in which I live (I am self employed and barely clear six figures, she was the primary bread winner and by far). I am not looking to buy as I plan on leaving the area (move to another state) in the next 12-18 months after the divorce is final. I want to have a place where my older young adult would want to come visit and have room for my home office - but a 3-4 bedroom home where I live is cost prohibitive. No idea what I am going to do and it's creating a lot of anxiety for me right now. The state I planing on moving to has a lot of nice homes for rent that would meet my needs and at around 50% less than what I am facing here - so I will be fine once I get there, but the interim housing looks daunting right now.

StandardButPoor500 · 2025-09-15T10:26:59+00:00

I moved from a 130 square meters large relatively new apartment into a small 75 m^2 maisonette build almost a century ago. Does it count?

I mean, that sucks of course, but there is also an upside - I don't have to consult with anyone anymore as to what to do with it.

LashkarNaraanji123 · 2025-09-15T06:38:39+00:00

Attitude is everything.

Imagine coming home and NOT having to walk on egg shells. To be able to leave a dish in the sink or kick off your shoes and just relax for an hour and digest before taking care of it without being attacked.

If you're like most men, chances are everything was laid out the way she pretty much wanted it, from paint color to the look and feel of the sofa. Now it's your chance to make your space in your style.

I'd search for some styles and think of restaurants or sports bars or libraries or other places that inspire you.

No more cowprint kettles, replace the Eat. Love. Laugh. woodcuts with some sports memorabilia or simple restful patterns. It's all up to you, you got a clean canvas.

For me, I do blues and nautical in my bedroom, Dark Wood Asian in the dining room, and abstract patterns in the Living Room. I have Govee Bulbs and set the lighting to "Orange" and play some Drone Zone (think Astronomy Documentary) or Orb music when I get home and just chill for a few minutes.

Flashy_Advisor5535 · 2025-09-15T05:55:15+00:00

I moved into a condo, almost same thing as an appt if you ask me. Not one regret or feeling of being a lesser person because of where I sleep. #1 I dont have to deal with my filthy loser ex. #2 I have so much more time to do stuff I want rather than rewardless chores like mowing, snow removal, leaves, etc. #3 Everything is the way I want it. #4 my ex paid me to take off my hands all the problems of that house that are now her problems. #5 I dont have to deal with my filthy loser ex.

CaptJaxParo · 2025-09-15T03:47:47+00:00

I have met awesome neighbors, kids, dudes, dogs, cats and made a ton of friends in my GFs apartment block

My old cookie cutter suburban hood was clean but dead. The apartment im at are shady but everybody is working hard and are a great class of lower economic people who have cooked for me and treated me well. Most dont have a car, most are illegal, but it's a great way to end my day. To see kids playing outside, cause their 1Bd apartment with parents is too small. Dogs running around. People walking for exercise and old men and women tending gardens.

What an unexpected but welcome change. Love, peace and happiness. OK ok there is some BandidoDomingo music at night but I can deal with that and the littering hgere and there.

Bagman220 · 2025-09-15T00:53:19+00:00

I kept the house and the kids in the divorce. Would be tough to find an apartment but if I did I would want it near some shops at least.

Piping_penguin · 2025-09-15T00:26:16+00:00

I would love an apartment in a lively area with coffee shops and boutique stores. But if I was forced into an apartment in a desolate suburb where you have to drive everywhere, then I would get depressed quickly.

MiloGoesToPorridge · 2025-09-14T23:25:23+00:00

I moved into a two bedroomed flat (that's apartment for all you non-UK folk) from the house I used to own with that soul-sucking narco succubus. Depressing at first, but I've learned to love it seven months in.

It's become one giant man cave, albeit peppered with evidence that a five year old girl lives here for 50% of the time.

Onwards!

Pmoneywhazzup · 2025-09-14T22:45:51+00:00

Was in my house for 16 years. Now in a two bedroom apartment. Ex is still in the house, and we sell or she buys me out in 2.5 years. Yes, the apartment sucks, but you will get used to it as your new normal, for now. I'll be out of this bitch in 2.5 years!

Clean_Cantaloupe_865 · 2025-09-14T22:35:43+00:00

I am with you 100% all the way on this !!!! I am 54 and single again living in a decent apartment but I miss my house that I had with my ex-wife… It’s very humbling even though I know it’s only a chapter! Sometimes I just look around and think… Is this really what my life has become… But I know it’s only temporary

swimninja · 2025-09-14T22:35:00+00:00

I'm somewhat in the same boat. Ex moved out but I'm working 2-3 jobs right now just to try to keep up with my mortgage and other expenses. I want to keep the house because it's the only one my kids have known but the cost difference between an apartment and a mortgage is making more and more sense. But that kick in the gut is real, especially when the idea of home ownership generally means you've "made it" more successfully. In my case, I'm literally only home right now to sleep (and work since one job is hybrid) but it's still a tough thought. It'll be ok and nobody will think any less of you though for doing it.

Title	Moving into an apartment
Author	beenthere7777
Upvotes	8
Comments	20
Date	September 14, 2025 10:14 PM UTC (10 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1nh4l4d/moving_into_an_apartment/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/moving-into-an-apartment.1561993 https://theredarchive.com/post/1561993

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