I (37F) have been with my boyfriend (34M) for ten months. We became exclusive after a month because we felt we were aligned on our beliefs and intentions: dating to marry, want kids, and we’re both Christians. The relationship has also been a male led one where he plans and pays for most of the activities. We’ve also met each other family and friends. Edit: we had also discussed proposal by the end of the year and married by summer next year.

Six months into the relationship I lost my job and was unemployed for four months. Prior to the unemployment we did not have any arguments but with the job loss, I was feeling incredibly sensitive and was unfortunately picking fights about silly things. While the frequency of the arguments were less than ideal, I thought our ability to discuss our issues, apologize and makeup was a strength until it wasn’t.

During our most recent argument he wanted to talk about how important it is for us to be aligned on our faith. I go to church on Saturday and he goes to church on Sunday. He starts off the conversation by saying he doesn’t like my church and here is also all the evidence that supports his beliefs for Sunday worship. I was hurt and so I asked him if he felt the day I go to church and my diet would be a dealbreaker for him. He said it’s important for us to be aligned on our faith. For context I had been going to church (his on Sunday and mine on Saturday) with little compliant from me fairly consistently. He has only been to my church a handful of times and made it clear he wasn’t interested in going to church on both days. I also don’t eat pork or shellfish but he would make comments about how I am missing out.

I told him I had done a lot of research on the subject and I am pretty firm in my decision along with expressing how I did not like feeling as though my decision determines the future of our relationship but if we wanted to have a more relax conversation I would be more open. He responded saying I came off so defensive he doesn’t have any interest in talking about the subject and how we always argue about serious issues.

At this point the conversation started to become an argument because I wanted to know what serious issues we had discussed where it became an argument. He admitted he had no examples but started listing off all the arguments we ever had. I told him all those arguments were silly and not based on any serious topics but also I was unemployed and not in the best place mentally. This went back and forth for a while before we started apologizing, making up with hugs and kisses, and then going to bed.

The next day I sent him a text message apologizing for not giving him my undivided attention and wanting to hear his points about Sunday. Later that evening he told me he wants to take a break for a week because we’ve been arguing a lot and he doesn’t want to argue on the family trip so he is un-inviting me. I told him usually a break is a precursor to a break up. He said he doesn’t want to break up, that would have to be a much bigger conversation and we also have all these plans / trips in the next few weeks. He said he never had any doubts about our future together but we have been arguing a lot and he wants space to think about it and get to the root cause.

It’s now been three days of no contact with more to come until the week comes to an end. I go back and forth with my emotions. I mostly feel hurt. Hurt I haven’t been forgiven for past arguments despite saying sorry. Hurt how he has been holding it against me. Hurt I was not invited to the trip anymore, hurt we are on a break, and hurt he isn’t talking to me. I’m not sure I can trust what he says anymore. Sometimes I wonder if we should just break up because I’m not sure if my future husband would ever act like this and other times I think make this relationship work and stop arguing.

What are your thoughts and what would you do? I am expecting to hear from him in three days about the current state of our relationship since the break would have been over.

TLDR: boyfriend decides after our most recent argument he wants to go on a week-long break so he un-invites me to his family’s birthday party and has gone no contact. He has a timeline to reach out a week from since we last spoke.